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Original poster

Have a feeling my date might let me down this weekend. WWYD?

96 replies

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:39

Long story short: my friend and I were supposed to go to a concert to see our favourite band this in a couple of days. She now has covid, so I've offered the ticket to guy I've been seeing for nearly 2 months.

The band has now said everyone needs to show proof of vaccination, which I have as I had to organise it recently anyway for travel. I told him this/said it isn't as easy as he might think and he responded 'im double vaccinated so I'll have it somewhere. Will make sure I do!'.

I'm the planner mostly, he is more relaxed in general. But in this case I don't think he realises it isn't straight forward and the concert is in 2 days.

If he can't make it, I want to have the chance to ask another friend or sell the ticket. At the same time, I want to give him a chance to sort it. But if he lets me down on the day and I miss it, I'll be upset/it would affect me wanting to keep seeing him imo. How would you handle it? Should I be firm and basically tell him I want to know by tomorrow that he has it?

OP posts:

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:41

I've already seen him sorting things last minute so I can see him doing this and then realising it's impossible. Don't want to see like a killjoy if it works out either.

OP posts:

whatnumber · 05/11/2021 15:44

How do you get the proof?
Maybe in texting tell him a story about how long it took you and just lightly say just want to make sure you get it in time. I wouldn't have a problem asking him and making it clear as that's the type of person I am. Could make a joke of it.

Temporaryanonymity · 05/11/2021 15:46

It takes hardly any time at all to get proof. I did it whilst half asleep on the sofa watching TV, and even then it didn’t take more than a few minutes.

mewkins · 05/11/2021 15:46

Call him, say it will take xx long to sort so if he can't do it by xx you will offer the ticket to your friend. If he is always last minute, will he piss you off before long anyway?

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:47

@whatnumber

How do you get the proof? Maybe in texting tell him a story about how long it took you and just lightly say just want to make sure you get it in time. I wouldn't have a problem asking him and making it clear as that's the type of person I am. Could make a joke of it.

I had to apply for my letter which took 11 days.

The app is easy if you have photo id - but I know he recently applied for a new drivers licence so don't even know if he has that.

The way he phrased it was like 'im double vaxxed so I'll find it' - so I can see him throwing things around searching day of!

If he lets me down because he hasn't sorted it I'll be upset. I already told him isn't necessarily straight forward.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:50

@mewkins

Call him, say it will take xx long to sort so if he can't do it by xx you will offer the ticket to your friend. If he is always last minute, will he piss you off before long anyway?

He isn't always last minute. This is quite a unique situation as my friend suddenly got sick.

I just don't think he realises how important it is to me and how upset I'll be if it falls through.

I know I'm going to sound a bit of an arse, but I do kind of want to say 'let me know by tomorrow or i'm selling it/offering to someone else?'. It might be too late for that but I want to have the chance.

OP posts:

Tal45 · 05/11/2021 15:51

Just check he has photo ID as it's needed to get the passport and ask him to get the passport now to make sure it all works as you don't want to waste the tickets.

mewkins · 05/11/2021 15:52

It may come across better on the phone. Eg. You can explain how you REALLY don't want to miss it. Also you can gauge his level of enthusiasm for it.

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:53

I mention photo id was needed for the app proof and he said nothing about that @Tal45. He just said he would have it somewhere because he is vaccinated. As though he thinks they have him proof at the time which isn't the case.

He's an adult so I don't really feel I should have to walk him through it

OP posts:

PinkWaferBiscuit · 05/11/2021 15:57

I got my proof via the app in about 5 minutes and didn't need any ID. My partner needed to prove who he was with ID when getting proof via the app and it still took less than 10 minutes. He will have plenty of time to sort it before the concert.

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:04

Yes but @PinkWaferBiscuit he didn't say if he has the id as I know he was Reapplying recently after expiry.

He does things last minute. I either give him a chance and he comes through, or I nicely give him a deadline to let me know by tomorrow or I need to do something else with the ticket.

It sounds like I don't trust him to sort it but I know how laid back he is about things and can see it going tits up. And me missing out.

OP posts:

titchy · 05/11/2021 16:08

Ask him to sort the app this evening and send you a screen shot of the qr code as 'you think it'll save queuing at the venue'

Hope478 · 05/11/2021 16:09

He won't "have it somewhere". You need to actually apply for the proof. I got mine by letter and it took about 6 days.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 05/11/2021 16:11

My point was he might not actually need any ID to sort it out, I didn't.

By all means give him a deadline and maybe have someone as a back up but it seems premature to be worrying when he's presumably only had a fews days so far to sort it. He has probably assigned it as a weekend job especially if he has been busy at work.

CrumpleHornedSnowcack · 05/11/2021 16:11

it's really very straightforward - just download the NHS app & it will be there.

Failing that do they accept a negative lft ? just do a test & the negative result will be texted to you

TooWicked · 05/11/2021 16:14

It sounds like I don't trust him to sort it

You don’t, and rightly so going from past experience. Ask him to sort it this evening and send you proof. If he can’t/won’t, invite someone else.

He’s already spoiling this concert for you, you’re clearly going to be on pins until you know for sure he’s got proof of vaccination.

And then have a think about if you want to continue in a relationship and build a future, and possibly have a family, etc, with someone that needs spoon-feeding like this. It’ll get tediously frustrating very quickly.

anon12345678901 · 05/11/2021 16:14

As PP said, if he gets the NHS app he can get proof within a few minutes. I just did and it's valid for a month. Have you checked if he's got the app or how he plans to get proof?

SarahBop · 05/11/2021 16:18

What do you do if you're unvaccinated? Negative LFT?

notacooldad · 05/11/2021 16:20

I had to apply for my letter which took 11 days
How long ago since you applied. I phoned up late on a Thursday evening to get my number and we got on to vac certificates and mine and DH's arrived on Saturday morning.

Anyway if he doesn't make it there's no reason for you to miss out is there? You can still go to the gig can't you?

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:22

I haven't @anon12345678901 because it would seem like an interrogation wouldn't it? He has said he will sort it and he probably expects me to just take that at face value.

I think I'll ask him to send me proof by tomorrow afternoon so I still have a chance to give it to someone else or sell.

Also there is very chance he will sort it but if he doesn't it is a lot of money & I will feel the loss in both cash and the experience.

OP posts:

TooWicked · 05/11/2021 16:22

@SarahBop

What do you do if you're unvaccinated? Negative LFT?

I believe some artists and bands are saying they will only allow vaccinated attendees and are giving a full refund to anyone that can’t attend because of this and reselling their tickets.

I suppose some artists and bands can afford to do this as they know they could resell those tickets ten times over.

MerryMarigold · 05/11/2021 16:23

You don't need a photo idea but I think it only lasts 24 hours. I did it the day before as I wasn't sure if required (it wasn't). I just used my date of birth and name and they found my nhs number. You have to download the nhs app. It's easy to find with a Google search.

Original poster

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:23

@SarahBop

What do you do if you're unvaccinated? Negative LFT?

No you simply aren't allowed to go if you aren't double vaccinated

They have requested proof and also you need to take an lat flow test the day of. The best part is you don't even need to show proof, just tell them you've done it!

OP posts:

PinkWaferBiscuit · 05/11/2021 16:24

He has said he will sort it and he probably expects me to just take that at face value.

To be bluntly honest if you're not taking him at face value at 8 weeks in then it's probably not going to a very long relationship. Do you have someone else you can ask as a backup?

anon12345678901 · 05/11/2021 16:26

@Lucia23

I haven't *@anon12345678901* because it would seem like an interrogation wouldn't it? He has said he will sort it and he probably expects me to just take that at face value.

I think I'll ask him to send me proof by tomorrow afternoon so I still have a chance to give it to someone else or sell.

Also there is very chance he will sort it but if he doesn't it is a lot of money & I will feel the loss in both cash and the experience.

Yeah I get that, I'd maybe drop it into conversation like say oh I'll have my vaccination as the card (or however you will), how about you? Or maybe say if he plans on using the app, to download it just in case the venue has bad reception! Happened to someone I know when their NHS app wouldn't load, they got turned away. Hopefully he will just answer you as it's a simply thing for him to confirm that will save you worrying! Fingers crossed you still get to go

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