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Original poster

Have a feeling my date might let me down this weekend. WWYD?

96 replies

Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 15:39

Long story short: my friend and I were supposed to go to a concert to see our favourite band this in a couple of days. She now has covid, so I've offered the ticket to guy I've been seeing for nearly 2 months.

The band has now said everyone needs to show proof of vaccination, which I have as I had to organise it recently anyway for travel. I told him this/said it isn't as easy as he might think and he responded 'im double vaccinated so I'll have it somewhere. Will make sure I do!'.

I'm the planner mostly, he is more relaxed in general. But in this case I don't think he realises it isn't straight forward and the concert is in 2 days.

If he can't make it, I want to have the chance to ask another friend or sell the ticket. At the same time, I want to give him a chance to sort it. But if he lets me down on the day and I miss it, I'll be upset/it would affect me wanting to keep seeing him imo. How would you handle it? Should I be firm and basically tell him I want to know by tomorrow that he has it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:26

@MerryMarigold I'm confused by this as I definitely had to verify with photo id! For the NHS Scotland app.

OP posts:
PinkWaferBiscuit · 05/11/2021 16:28

[quote Lucia23]@MerryMarigold I'm confused by this as I definitely had to verify with photo id! For the NHS Scotland app.[/quote]
It might be different in Scotland but as I said up thread I absolutely didn't need photo I'd proof for the NHS England app. Are they the same app?

Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:30

@PinkWaferBiscuit

He has said he will sort it and he probably expects me to just take that at face value.

To be bluntly honest if you're not taking him at face value at 8 weeks in then it's probably not going to a very long relationship. Do you have someone else you can ask as a backup?

It isn't because I think he's a bad guy, it's because he is sometimes too relaxed for his own good and does miss out on things from not planning ahead.

On the other hand, I get very stressed sometimes and he often balances me out. I already asked a friend who likes the band, she has other plans. Anyone else I ask will be v last min.

Don't think I'd like to go alone.

OP posts:
muldersspeedos · 05/11/2021 16:31

Oh gosh I hate situations like this and find people so unreliable and frustrating when you are relying on them to do something that affects you. Id give him a deadline and if he messes you about I'd dump him. Since I hit 40 I can't be doing with anyone messing me about and quickly get rid of time wasters where possible. I hope you get it sorted and enjoy your night.

notacooldad · 05/11/2021 16:32

Don't think I'd like to go alone
You would rather miss seeing your favourite band than go alone?

PinkWaferBiscuit · 05/11/2021 16:33

It isn't because I think he's a bad guy, it's because he is sometimes too relaxed for his own good and does miss out on things from not planning ahead.

I never suggested he was bad but honestly if his laid back nature is already causing issues so soon into the relationship then it probably is worth reviewing if it's someone you want to spend a prolonged amount of time with. It should be effortless at this stage.

mrsbyers · 05/11/2021 16:44

You don’t sound a good match if you’re finding him too laid back now and you’re quite anxious

If he does let you down just go yourself it’s a gig not dinner and I often find myself on my own at gigs as people prefer to be further in etc

Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:44

@muldersspeedos

Oh gosh I hate situations like this and find people so unreliable and frustrating when you are relying on them to do something that affects you. Id give him a deadline and if he messes you about I'd dump him. Since I hit 40 I can't be doing with anyone messing me about and quickly get rid of time wasters where possible. I hope you get it sorted and enjoy your night.
This is what I'm thinking. I'll give him the deadline & if he messes it up then...I think I'd rather sound a bit pushy than feel like I have to be cool girl about it. It's my tickets and money!

On the other hand, he may sort it out in no time at all and my worrying is for nothing. I'll know soon enough!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 16:45

@mrsbyers

You don’t sound a good match if you’re finding him too laid back now and you’re quite anxious

If he does let you down just go yourself it’s a gig not dinner and I often find myself on my own at gigs as people prefer to be further in etc

Hmm I think being alone would feel more pronounced given it's seated. Wouldn't have minded so much in a crowd but we booked seated to avoid the crowds due to covid.
OP posts:
Oldraver · 05/11/2021 16:58

I got turned down for the NHS App as my passport was out of date

However I have found you can circumvent the app. His search for Covid Pass and it will take you to the NHS website. There you choose 'get digital proof for domestic events'. You will be asked for your NHS login ( the one you use to repeat LFT's) and your proof will be there.

Take a screenshot of the QR code just in case you do loose signal when going to the event

MerryMarigold · 05/11/2021 17:00

[quote Lucia23]@MerryMarigold I'm confused by this as I definitely had to verify with photo id! For the NHS Scotland app.[/quote]
In the English ones there were 2 options. In order to travel abroad you needed the ID one, but to get a temporary Covid passport you could use the other option. As I said though, I think it's a 24 hour passport only. I couldn't be bothered to dig out my ID so I got that one!

Spiceup · 05/11/2021 17:29

I know it's not really the answer but I'd say "give us your phone, I'll do it for you". And tell him that leaving it to the last minute will worry me.

notacooldad · 05/11/2021 17:34

Hmm I think being alone would feel more pronounced given it's seated. Wouldn't have minded so much in a crowd but we booked seated to avoid the crowds due to covid
Honesty I must have FOMO as I wouldn't give a rats arse of it looking pronounced. I'd rather see my favourite band rather than miss them because someone couldn't pull their socks up. Why would you miss it!!😮

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 05/11/2021 17:41

You only have to open the app and it's there. Takes two minutes. I've sorted it while at the venue door before.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 05/11/2021 17:44

I really don't understand what everyone is saying. It's here.

Have a feeling my date might let me down this weekend. WWYD?
Have a feeling my date might let me down this weekend. WWYD?
TheOccupier · 05/11/2021 17:48

@Lucia23

I mention photo id was needed for the app proof and he said nothing about that *@Tal45*. He just said he would have it somewhere because he is vaccinated. As though he thinks they have him proof at the time which isn't the case.

He's an adult so I don't really feel I should have to walk him through it

But they do give you proof at the time, you get a little card with the details if your first and second vaccination dates.

I think if you withdraw the offer and take someone else instead because he's missed some arbitrary deadline and you don't trust him to be an adult and sort it out, he'll find that uptight and controlling and that will be the end of the relationship. Doesn't sound like you're well suited anyway.

Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 17:48

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

You only have to open the app and it's there. Takes two minutes. I've sorted it while at the venue door before.
Yes but you have to set it up. In Scotland you need photo id - having checked it can be current or expired photo id.

@Oldraver this annoys me - the NHS scotland app doesn't allow you to take a screenshot. It made me worry at the airport in case the signal cut out!

OP posts:
Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 17:51

Not in Scotland, they gave us nothing.

Also I think people saying you're ill suited is unfair just because of this.

I know lots of people that still haven't sorted out their proof of vaccination and don't realise what is involved in getting it. And I tend to be attracted to people who are a bit more laid back in general - usually I like that about him, but it just so happens that on this occasion they are being really strict about what is required and I know what he can be like.

OP posts:
muldersspeedos · 05/11/2021 17:55

The problem with a laid back partner is that you tend to take on most of the mental loss as you know it won't be done otherwise and it causes anxiety. Then you get accused of being controlling Hmm Imagine planning anything big like a holiday or a wedding or a house move with this guy? You'd need Valium!

Eddielzzard · 05/11/2021 18:04

I think I'd text him and ask him to check tonight, because if he can't find proof you will still have time to sort something out. I think that's very reasonable, given it's an expensive ticket and you desperately want to go.

Original poster
Lucia23 · 05/11/2021 18:22

@Eddielzzard

I think I'd text him and ask him to check tonight, because if he can't find proof you will still have time to sort something out. I think that's very reasonable, given it's an expensive ticket and you desperately want to go.
Yeah this is what l'll do @Eddielzzard

To the PP saying Ill come across as controlling - if I do, then so be it. I'd rather that than lose out on the experience and the very expensive tickets.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 05/11/2021 18:36

Don't you just get a Covid pass off the NHS app?

MerryMarigold · 05/11/2021 18:42

@Toddlerteaplease

Don't you just get a Covid pass off the NHS app?
Yes, but OP is in Scotland. Apparently it is different? But she was getting a pass to travel abroad which is different and stricter.
NadiaVulvokov · 05/11/2021 19:04

If him not sorting it in time is the kind of thing that’s put you off continuing to see him (as it’s signal incompatibility), isn’t it better to find that out now rather than try to finesse the situation?

If you start chivvying him now, you’ll at best be chivvying him along for the rest of your life. Or you might just be eking out a doomed relationship a bit further.

And it’s always possible he might surprise you and it’ll be ok.

The only person you have any control over in this really is you.

And if seeing the concert with company or being able to sell the ticket is the most important thing to you, well that would kind of tel you something too.

Herecomesthesun70 · 05/11/2021 23:08

More importantly who's the band?