Tell me your "mute" fails, and make me feel better

[Nidan2Sandan]

On a training course, interesting course but I'm tired and grotty today.

Just said something (nothing rude, just better not said out loud) thinking I was on mute........I wasnt.

Trainer laughed and said he heard that, and I did some quick talking to cover up my faux pas! But I feel sick with shame and embarrassment, and guilt. The trainer is lovely.

Make me feel better and tell me yours!

Another one who managed to fart and have the screen light up (early on to the zoom lifestyle i didn't realise it would do that).

I also was sitting next to my husband but deliberately off camera as he was chatting to friends, one of whom irritates the fuck out of me. Anyway he said something about me 'skiving' parenting for some event and I made a muttery comment about 'the fucking misogynist'. I swear the bloody thing was on mute. But of course noone could see me, so this guy was peering at the screen trying to work out which of the other women on the call might have said it. Meanwhile the younger guys and women were all either outright laughing or grabbing drinks to hide their faces. My phone started going crazy with messages from other people on the call asking where I was hiding. Cowardly of me though.

I leave him to join those calls alone now. But i get messages from the others when "Frank" is off on one again. I've no idea why they put up with him.

Had online group training shortly after starting a new job. All good until my cat appeared and stuck her actual arsehole about 5 inches in front of the screen.

Then I swore at her.

My husband thought he camera was off, it wasn’t…. He stood up and put his hands down his pants to rearrange his bits as he had been sat down for so long. Apparently everyone was in hysterics as his camera area was perfectly angled to his crotch.

Just before the first lockdown I had an appointment to go on a speed awareness course, but due to lockdown it was taking place on zoom instead.
We could all see each other on smaller screens.
Around halfway through, one of the male candidates leaned back on his chair, he went too far and tipped over backwards.
One minute we were watching the instructor, the next we were treated to the sight of two bare hairy legs going past the screen with Donald Duck novelty slippers on the feet.
Suddenly the screen was filled with Donald Duck beak while the other flew off.
It took ages for the hysterics to die down enough to continue the course, which was punctuated with the odd snort of laughter.
I still laugh to the point of tears at the image of Donald Duck beak while his mate flew off 🤣

I was explaining something on a conference call. Something I have done hundreds of times. A director was mansplaining. I decided to give up and let them do what they wanted, when if it went wrong it was on them not me.

I muted myself, just after saying "oh whatever Director!"

After that, they actually decided to do it the proper way

Not me (I, thankfully, don't have to use Zoom for work) but a friend: she was on a Zoom with a colleague and colleague's DH appeared from the vicinity of the bathroom announcing, 'I've just done a big stinker'. Cue hissing 'I'm on a call' and mortified looks, and the DH trying to row back and say he was talking about the cat

@fishonabicycle

Had online group training shortly after starting a new job. All good until my cat appeared and stuck her actual arsehole about 5 inches in front of the screen.

My cat does this every single call. When moved she insists on being on me, held like a baby and bats at my headset... I think everyone in the company knows my cat.

One meeting she didn't appear and 3 people asked if the cat was ok 😂 luckily there are a lot of animal lovers, some calls are 70% pets on screen.

Oh my God I've just remembered another. My partner was here a few weeks ago and he loves to lounge around the house naked when he's home - I know.
I had no meetings booked in so he was laid on the sofa in my office watching TV while I worked when one of my directors called me on Teams.... I have a background so it's not normally a problem if my son is around or a random pet...apart from the fact he stood up to leave the room and got a bit too close and walked through the background!!
I almost died and hissed WE CAN SEE YOU 😂😳

In the early days of my getting to grips with Zoom and Teams I was at a remote meeting from home and my kids got back from school and were running up and down the stairs shouting making it hard to hear the meeting. After a few attempts to shush them I turned around and yelled 'for the love of God will you SHUT UP'
I thought I was on mute
I was not
For an awful moment my colleagues thought it was directed at them and that I had a violent objection to the proposals for the new GP liaison arrangements!
Then they all laughed and I didn't live it down for months

This happened when zoom was quite new to me. I was acting as project manager for something at work and one of my male colleagues was constantly trying make it look like I'd forgotten tasks I was supposed to do etc (I think to cover up the fact that he was a bit inept). I was screen sharing a document to talk through with the team and he started asking why x, y z had not been done. As all I could see on my screen was the document I forgot that everyone would be able to see me, so as I politely reminded him that these things HAD been done ages ago I started making rude gestures and mouthing 'you wanker'. Quickly tried to pass this off as me gesticulating to DH to get me some water. I can only assume everyone agreed with me as I can't imaging no-one noticed but it has never been mentioned

@NotMiranda

Years ago, running an IT project, I was on the phone with a colleague who was doing the tech side of the project, and a Microsoft developer who was based in Fargo. If you've seen the film of that name, you'll know that someone meets a nasty end courtesy of some garden equipment.

The Microsoft chap was being very obstructive and not answering our questions. At one point he was sharing his screen with us and so I messaged techy colleague, saying "BRING ME A FUCKING WOODCHIPPER". Unfortunately, at that exact moment, he stopped sharing his screen, so it defaulted back to mine where he could clearly see the message.

He was slightly more cooperative after that, though, so clouds, silver linings....

Hahahahaaaaaa! 😂😂😂

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Teams meeting and everyone muted and closed camera. I needed a wee, so put iPad down on sofa. Came back to the cat in my place watching the pretty pictures but he’d managed to stand on the screen and unblock the camera so everyone got a big black cat’s face staring at them.

Your cat is better at IT than I am! I would have loved this. Clever puss

@BookShark

"Frank, why are you licking the keyboard?". On a call with about 30 people from different countries, most of whom I didn't know.

It was cameras off, so nobody knew that one of the cats had wandered into the room and was trying to see if I'd left any of my lunch on the keyboard. Fortunately I doubt anyone knew it was me as the screen was taken up a presentation so unlikely they could see who was talking. I'd be interested to know what they thought was happening in my house though!

I really, really, really want a cat. Such a pity DH hates them.

I fell asleep in a sale meeting, wrapped up on the sofa like a human burrito.
Bastards watched me sleep for 30 minutes

I had the opposite. I was on hold on a radio station to win a decent sum of money. It was one where they pick the caller at random from the 10 people who have been put on hold. The radio presenter PICKED ME and I could hear them down the line and I was saying “hello hello hello” and they couldn’t hear me so they went to the next caller. I was on mute.

Not a mute fail, but a TEAMS fail.

Back during the first lockdown/home schooling days. I was working from home with my two DDs in the house - DD1 a teenager and DD2 pre-school. I was upstairs working whilst the two girls were downstairs with DD1 keeping an eye the DD2.

I was on a TEAMS call with a colleague. While this call was going on I get another call from another colleague. This colleague was more senior, but had really been winding me up calling me about the slightest little thing and expecting me to be available at his beck and call. I ignore his calls as it should be obvious from my TEAMS status that I'm on another call and not available at the moment, but he keeps on calling me. I complain to my colleague about his complete lack of TEAMS etiquette and then finally the calls stop. I think "Good he's finally got the message" and make a note to call him back later at a time more convenient for me!

A few minutes later DD1 appears

"Mummy you've got to come now"
Inwardly sighing at the constant interruptions to this meeting: "I'm in a meeting now DD, I'll come down when I've finished."
"No Mummy, you've really, really got to come right now!"

What I had forgotten was that I had installed the TEAMS app on my ipad, which was downstairs. The calls that I was ignoring were also coming through on the ipad, and DD2 had actually managed to answer one of these calls and was having a lovely long conversation with this senior colleague about all her favourite things! Thankfully he took it in good humour (and tbf it was mostly his fault by repeatedly calling me when I was clearly unavailable), but I was so embarrassed!!

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

Brilliant 🤣

Not a mute fail but I was playing Animal Crossing whilst on a Teams meeting with my camera on and at one point I was frustrated whilst making a point and swung my arm up forgetting I was holding the Switch. So I swung the Switch right past the camera

No one mentioned it. Still no idea if they clocked it or not lol

Friend of mine on a whole staff team meet when the head was laying out next plans for covid etc. Went on a rant of fuck sakes what a waste of time etc. Which everyone heard and saw as she wasn't on mute and teams brings up the person speaking's video. She got in a lot of trouble for that. Though it was hilarious as she realised and continued to swear in a how do I turn this fucking thing off sort of way. It was being recorded so she now has it on her phone to show people when they are having an omg I screwed up at work moment. She gets the video out with a 'can't be as bad as this'.

A colleague roped me into something he was working on. This colleague is known for completely being unable to work on his own. Trouble is, the roped in person then ends up doing 95% of the work whilst he gets 50% of the credit.

He arranged a meeting with the part of the business we were working for, and who we were trying to impress. During the meeting, he left me to ask all the questions and gather all the requirements. He then had a mute fail, after contributing an "mm-hmm" to remind us he was there, and it turned out he was bloody watching This Morning!

Not a mute fail but last week I was working from home because my DS was ill. I had a Very Important meeting with my manager and despite strict instructions for DS to stay downstairs and watch tv he of course ended up on the bed next to me, eventually sneaking in for a cuddle. I had a background on my screen so suddenly his disembodied grinning head appeared on the call

Fortunately my manager knew I was working with him at home and she has a sense of humour. She laughed and said it reminded her of the poor bloke on the BBC trying to talk about Korea when his toddler marched into the room!

Whole team meeting of about 30 of us, in the early days when only 9 random people could be seen on Teams at a time and it didn’t show you yourself in the corner, only if you spoke and joined the main screen.
I couldn’t see myself on the screen, assumed I couldn’t be seen, and indulged in a huge yawn. The guy talking joked “am I boring you fishy”??

I am still not sure whether the faces on screen were randomised for everyone, so many people saw me yawn even though I couldn’t see myself, or whether he had pinned me (which is interesting!)

My DD likes to fart REALLY loud whilst she's on with her tutor. She knows she isn't on mute, but finds it hilarious to blame me. She's 14 so no excuse for that kind of behaviour. 😆

Not a mute fail, but a hide self view on a zoom training course. Merrily sat stuffing my face, drinking my coffee and vaping away. Thinking no one else could see. Next thing my Cat decides he wants to shove his face up against the camera and I just here a oh we have a little intruder what a beautiful Cat. I'm like oh shit that also means everyone will have seen me eating, drinking and vaping too! Plus also thinking thank the lord it was your face you stuck in view of the camera Moggy and not your arse