Tell me your "mute" fails, and make me feel better

[Nidan2Sandan]

On a training course, interesting course but I'm tired and grotty today.

Just said something (nothing rude, just better not said out loud) thinking I was on mute........I wasnt.

Trainer laughed and said he heard that, and I did some quick talking to cover up my faux pas! But I feel sick with shame and embarrassment, and guilt. The trainer is lovely.

Make me feel better and tell me yours!

Not done by me but to me instead.
First one was on the phone to a family member where I had to cancel meeting up. She was lovely about it, said it was fine etc but must have thought she ended the call after saying bye when she didn't as she then said "Yeah whatever stupid b" before the line went dead.

More recently I was texting someone about an issue we were both dealing with, and they sent me along the lines of "Spoke to Newbedding about such and such but she's completely useless so I'm just going along with it."
Couldn't help myself and replied saying I'm not completely useless-I can cook pretty much anything from scratch

Not me but heard a colleague on a company wide call whilst the CEO was talking, announcing very loudly to whoever was in the room with her that she wasn't listening to this meeting so could talk to them instead. Because everyone else was on mute, she got given away by her icon lighting up.

CEO very diplomatically reminded "everyone" to go on mute

I was observing a new colleague delivering a training session (in a meeting room, not online). All i had to do was sit back & chip in when needed. Another colleague asked me on Teams chat what the trainee looked like, and I said 'he is really fucking fit' then moments later realised my screen was projecting onto the TV in the meeting room. I had been talking through a document 5 minutes earlier & totally forgot to disconnect my latop i was so mortified i ran out of the room & didnt come back in for a good 10-15 mins luckily it wasnt mentioned but i was mortified!

Happened last week. Kids were watching tv show and then individual things on ipads around 6pm. Noticed a work call on cell I'dbeen waiting for all day. Picked up trying to day hello.
Then noticed my Bluetooth was still on.
Then noticed my Bluetooth headphones on in the middle of the children's shows....
Hung up, disconnected Bluetooth and then they called back

In a meeting with 90 people. There was a lull in the meeting. Thought I was muted so told dd she could come in when she knocked on my door to ask about lunch. We proceeded to converse about lunch options while everyone listened and eventually the lead started laughing. Thankfully it was a laughing with you not at you situation.

@Beeth0ven
🤣🤣🤣

A colleague was telling us he has secured some funding and I muttered “for a haircut i hope” without being on mute…. Luckily a few people were talking so several yellow circles and I looked as shocked as everyone else so may have gotten away with it 😬😬

In same meeting as boss - but he was next door. He was being crap about the technology so after a couple of times shouting through to him, I went through and was a bit short with him showing him how to do sthg (we've known each other a long time and I was very pissed off as I was missing the whole point of the meeting).

He wasn't on mute. I was mortified!

At my old company, the (vvv high profile) chairman used to regularly snore through board meetings...

I recently crashed a colleague’s emotional farewell announcement by dialling in late from the train and forgetting to mute myself while the girl next to me rambled on to her phone squeeze about not being ginger. My reception was so bad that I didn’t even hear them telling me to sort it out. Eventually just gave up and hung up but not before pissing all over the poor workgal’s chips. Wooopsie!

At my old company, the (vvv high profile) chairman used to regularly snore through board meetings...

In my head this is Sralan

In the early days of switching from Skype to Teams... I was on a call with a more senior colleague who tended to go on a bit. I usually multi-tasked and did some emails while listening and making appropriate noises, but one time I forgot I was still sharing my screen and he told me off for not paying attention

Just today I was off mute in a meeting as we were all openly talking. My DP (who also works from home at the desk right beside me) did the LOUDEST burp he could.

Thankfully my colleagues just continued like nothing happened, but I had to mute and laugh hysterically for a while

DH was in a large online meeting. They took a break. Cue: someone loudly and obviously having a huge wee. They must have logged in on their phone and taken it with them to the loo.

@Poppetschmoppet

Not a mute fail but a camera one (not mine thankfully) but in a large Zoom call a colleague took their device to the bathroom with them. Camera still on

OMG!!!

120 people heard me great my cat.
Cat: Meow
Me: Hellooooo

Brand new director who was telling everyone what her aspirations for the company were, paused and said "has someone else just joined the call?'

I am embarrassed but stand by greeti g my cat over listening to her drivel.

I did a loud fart in the lounge while my daughter was being gone schooled on zoom during lock down. I thought she was on mute but she wasn’t… 😮

@MyMiserableEmployment I am taking notes

Someone was demoing how some software worked and a message popped up on their screen, “It’s ok, we haven’t fucked up as much as we thought we had”.
Poor woman just froze and couldn’t get the message to close!

Also heard a senior leader yell, “For God’s sake, you have to wipe your bum” during a call.

First antenatal class done via zoom, didn't realise I wasn't on mute and as the midwife said labour with your first baby is usually around 18 hours from start to finish I said loudly "FUCK THAT, ARE YOU INSANE" I think I got away with it as there was about 80 of us on the call ironically I also ended up with a c section so didn't go into labour at all

This thread will end up in the Daily Fail.

During the very early days of lockdown we all had the pleasure of listening to one of our managers do a very loud, splashy wee. Turns out he has a downstairs toilet just off his dining room, where he was working, and he left the door open when he went to the toilet so he could still listen to the meeting, without realising the meeting was also listening to him. At this stage, nobody realised we could mute him so we had to listen to the splashing while he kind of hummed along to it and then said "that's better' to himself (and 30+ other horrified listeners).

Another colleague, halfway through a very long meeting, said "Fuck this, I'm up to my bollocks in it" and this has been brought up in every meeting since then.

And my own moment of horror, I answered a call just as my DS (who had been watching the episode of Friday Night Dinner with Lord Luck in it) did his best Martin Goodman impression and squeaked out "Bugger Off!" Thankfully it was a colleague with a similarly aged child and she just replied with "Bugger off yourself" and we had a good laugh.

This thread will end up in the Daily Fail

Well the daily fail and all other news outlets can fuck off! And if that's not clear enough, do some proper journalism and dont steal my thread for your cheap thrills

I had a safeguarding meeting once for a child in need, mum was on the call and evidentally couldn't hold in her need to pee. Thankfully she only had the mic on & not the camera but my god that woman could piss!!! At the end the Social Worker kindly reminded everyone to go on mute.

I was working at my mum's once while she was looking after then 3 year old DS. He managed to find where I was hiding and wouldn't leave the room, I agreed that he could sit next to me and do some drawing as long as he did it quietly.

A call came through on to my mobile from a brand new client, I reminded him to be quiet before I answered. He said ok. Answered the call, said "hello" and the next thing I hear, DS did the most high pitched blood curdling scream I've ever heard, I looked at him in disbelief and he was sat there pissing himself laughing. I was so flustered I hung up. I called the client back a short while later when DS left and made an awkward apology about the scream then quickly changed the subject

I arrived to an interview having not slept for three days. When the receptionist asked who I was there to see I couldn't string a sentence together and couldn't think of the word interview. I finally got across why I was there. The interview was actually going ok until I remembered and just randomly shouted "interview that's why I'm fucking here". Cue three people staring blankly at me and me saying meekly "oh sorry I thought I didn't realise I said that out loud". Didn't get that job somehow 🤣It was eight years ago and I still want to curl up and die when I think of it 🙊

My company doesn’t always require cameras to be on, but a particularly fraught scenario meant everyone in a long virtual face to face session. I was make up free and thought that was my main ‘issue’ but alas my sweatshirt that day said ‘Just don’t be a dick’ on it in black, bold letters and I didn’t think about that.

Everyone thought it was a passive aggressive fashion choice.

Horrible colleague did this early last week on a training course. Forgot she’d unmuted to answer a question and then loudly told her partner that the training was so crap and boring that she’d popped out to get some petrol while it was on. Cue 30 people including the trainer go totally silent 😂 couldn’t have happened to a nicer person!!