Tell me your "mute" fails, and make me feel better

[Nidan2Sandan]

On a training course, interesting course but I'm tired and grotty today.

Just said something (nothing rude, just better not said out loud) thinking I was on mute........I wasnt.

Trainer laughed and said he heard that, and I did some quick talking to cover up my faux pas! But I feel sick with shame and embarrassment, and guilt. The trainer is lovely.

Make me feel better and tell me yours!

These are making me feel much better.

I was in a Teams session with my department, around 80 people recorded session, only people with cameras on were the organiser and presenter, and unfortunately unbeknownst to me also myself. Went off to type an e'mail while half listening, and when reading back my email, I had a pick off my nose.

Took me weeks to get over the horror of what I did and it still cringe when I think about it.

I was in a meeting, getting a demo from a software vendor, the tech guy opened his browser to begin the demo and it was on a gay porn site.

As I was working at a big bank at the time, with severely limited internet browsing, there was a lot of discussion afterwards about how secure the software might be given the lax working environment the vendor had.

I was feeling smug at never having had a Teams mute fail, but kimmykimdoo has reminded me that I've fallen victim to the deaf pupil's microphone too. Thankfully never went to the toilet wearing it, but Bobby definitely overheard me bitching about colleagues on more than one occasion Luckily he was lovely and usually just signalled to me to turn it off.

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 This has made me so happy!

Mine involves my older lab, who always vocal, has become garrulous with age.
During a large work meeting, she was whining piteously, as if being tortured, to make me rub her belly with my foot.
The prolonged hollow groaning that the belly rub produced was far worse.
People were giggling and I had to drag her out in disgrace.

@KimmyKimdoo

I was teaching a class and I had one deaf child in the room. There was a special microphone system that I wore and she wore an ear piece attached to it to enable her to hear me. Just before class, I’d downed my coffee in a rush and as I was taking that lesson, my tummy was swirling really badly. I was really uncomfortable. Eventually, once I’d finished the instructions and the class was set on task and busy, I politely told the TA I was off to print an extra copy of a help sheet and would be back in two minutes. I rushed to the loo for the loudest, most violent poo ever and still sweating from it, I grabbed a sheet of paper and stepped back into the room waving it and announcing I had the help sheet sorted. That’s when I noticed the microphone was still on. The deaf child smiled at me from across the room. She walked over to me and whispered “maybe you could leave the microphone with the TA next time miss please”.

That happened to Greg Davies too, he had a similar story except he’d been on a night out followed by a curry the previous day… 😆

@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow

Teams meeting and everyone muted and closed camera. I needed a wee, so put iPad down on sofa. Came back to the cat in my place watching the pretty pictures but he’d managed to stand on the screen and unblock the camera so everyone got a big black cat’s face staring at them.

Love this

Not me thankfully, but I was on a call where a colleague forgot they were sharing their screen and opened their chat up to complain about someone else on the call. Everyone else in the call suddenly switched themselves to mute while we all howled with laughter. To be fair, she wasn't wrong in what she wrote - we were all thinking it - but she was mortified.

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

OMG I am sitting at my desk trying not laugh too loud. Hilarious

A friend of ours forgot he had left his camera on and proceeded to do the hoovering during a meeting. Thankfully he was muted, but colleagues definitely spotted him!

Years ago I worked in a boring call centre and rang a member of the public who answered with a very pronounced Liverpudlian accent. I pressed what I thought was the mute button and responded in my best exaggerated copycat accent “ Ehh Liverpool - Great!” (think Harry Enfield’s The Scousers comedy sketch) I had to hang up once I realised I had pressed a totally different button on my phone which for the rest of my short career there was known as the “Ehh Liverpool - Great” button.

I was in the waiting room for online training, which was delayed because of technical difficulties and noticed someone else had joined, with her name on display, whilst talking on the phone. After bitching about a colleague, she barked "...and now I've got 2 hours training, 2 f*ing hours, oh my god kill me now! " The trainer emailed minutes later to apologise for the delay and to remind us to go on mute in the waiting room as "You can be heard". Fantastic 😂

I was attending a recent literary lecture online. Everyone was told to mute themselves but not everyone did. The whole meeting therefore had to listen to one man talking to his GP surgery on the phone. Luckily for him, it was to make a booster appointment. I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t for a more “interesting” medical issue 🤣

Was presenting a new idea and someone shouted ‘what the actual fuck?’ Clearly not on board with the new idea.

Super rude. They apologised. Said they were having a bad day….. I assume they were meant to mute themselves but they’re a difficult character so I never knew!!

Kids go to a catholic school and during home schooling there was a prayer service of some description ( I’m not catholic but I am an atheist so I’ve no idea what the heck it was to be honest) starting at 9am. We all slept in so it was ten past before I got the kids logged on. I was hustling them to ‘hurry up and eat your bloody breakfast’, then heard the priest stop the prayer to ask everyone to mute themselves. It had connected without me realising.

Thankfully there were about 60 people logged on so think I got away with it.

Reminds me of that brilliant Wickes advert when the woman on a Zoom meeting is asked to show them her awful kitchen. She pretends to freeze and her cat walks across in front of her! Best ad for ages.

I've just remembered another one. DD was on a homeschool Teams call. She was always trying to answer all the questions. I reminded her to let other people have a go at answering the questions. She paused said 'I know' and carried on answering the question as she was off mute 🙈

Probably not as bad as the chat function where another child shared with the whole class his DF's hobby. It wasn't cycling. It was certainly outing in more ways than one. I look at him very differently now.

@AprilMayAnne

A friend of ours forgot he had left his camera on and proceeded to do the hoovering during a meeting. Thankfully he was muted, but colleagues definitely spotted him!

Hahahaha that made me snort out loud 😂

@MyMiserableEmployment

My partner bought doughnuts and whilst I was in the bedroom on a call myself he text me to say he was going to put his … appendage … through the doughnut. I walk back in the living room (home office) and declare “I’m not eating my doughnut off of your penis” whilst he was training a junior member of staff on teams. I die inside when I think about it.

Oh @mumsnetHQ this has to be a thread for classics It's the best thing to come out if the pandemic!

Oh so many.

Picked my nose today in a meeting with about 40 people. Am usually off camera for that meeting but forgot I had switched it on in an effort to be more sociable. I was also slumped on my chair in a very unflattering bored pose.

A colleague screen-shared the wrong one of his screens in a big client presentation, so rather than the attendees seeing the presented PowerPoint slide, they saw the presenters notes saying “this bits a bit crap” and “breeze through this because it’s not true”.

The worst one wasn’t me (thank god) but a colleague who, on a large recorded zoom call, started out with camera off and mic on. Presumably meant to switch to mic off and leave the camera off, but instead switched to camera on, and took her laptop into the bathroom with her, putting it on the floor in front of the toilet where she would have been in full view. Fortunate not everyone noticed, and those of us who did were trying to remotely turn her camera and mic off. Meeting organiser had the good thinking to close the call for everyone and blame technical difficulties.

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

This has me in stitches. Thank you.

Not mute, but video… hugely important meeting about very large well-known event, all super seniors on the call of event management, emergency services & a couple of very high profile well-known business/celebrity people, but it was looong & I was just listening, waiting for the bit I was involved in, so I got up & pottered about. They wouldn’t have see me, just an empty chair where I should have been! I realised when I sat back down with a fresh brew!

@Nc123

Did a huge fart and my camera lit up and betrayed me

😂😂😂😂

A friend shouted ‘no, I’m still in this effing meeting’ while unmuted when his partner asked him if he’d be free soon 😄 I have to be really careful with DD5 when on work calls as she just says whatever pops into her head- said ‘is that a wig’? When we were admiring my colleagues new hairdo 😂