Off-putting lines in job ads?

[Atmywitsend29]

Scrolling the job ads on my night shift, came across a fairly simple job with the line "must have... With infinite levels of patience and understanding"

Backed out of that without applying, now I'm wondering what's the most off-putting line you've read in a job ad before?

Ignore the "with" in the middle of that quote... I dunno where that came from

I find most job ads off putting. ....They want everything for nlw

"Fun environment"

No.

nameyouwhat you're absolutely right.

IndecentCakes

must have a good sense of humour usually means we are a bunch of bullying arses.

Infinite levels of patience and understanding sounds like it’s going to be a low paid job like LSA, care worker or nursery worker. You don’t bother putting that kind of crap on for office jobs etc.

"Competitive salary" = "we'll pay you as little as we can get away with".

“Team player” - will have to spend too much time chivvying others to do their work to an adequate standard

Work hard play hard always puts me off. I don't think they'd get the concept of work life balance.

The worst one I saw recently said to send them a video about the last thing you geeked out about. Now I hate all the hoop jumping anyway, a video I'll just about do if I have to, but geeked out? I'm a mum in my 40s after a new office job, I'll pass thanks.

When they don't put a salary. I don't even bother applying. Could be a waste of everyone's time if the salary is nowhere near what I need

‘Replacing a long-standing and much loved member of the team’
You’ll never live up to her standards. Don’t bother.

Must be flexible = we'll haul you in at all sorts of hours when you weren't scheduled to work..

Back when job adverts happened at the back of scruffy local newspapers, every standard office job called for a ‘bubbly self-starter’. Think I knew even at eighteen that I was not right for this world.

‘Replacing a long-standing and much loved member of the team’
You’ll never live up to her standards. Don’t bother.

No, I always think this is added by someone glad to get rid of her, but still wanting to butter up to the very end!
Or, more likely, advertised by the post holder themselves!

@Jensonfromtheblock

Infinite levels of patience and understanding sounds like it’s going to be a low paid job like LSA, care worker or nursery worker. You don’t bother putting that kind of crap on for office jobs etc.

It's for an office and WFH based position, admin work.

‘Infinite levels of patience and understanding’ for an office job! Definitely written by the exiting person as code for ‘boss is an tantrumming twat and needs handling like a toddler’.

I work in a creative industry where offers to join a company's "tribe" and enjoy their "free fruit" are sadly commonplace - this to attract people of 10-15 years' experience

Worst one I saw had gone hard for a military theme in which the CEO was referred to as the Commander-in-Chief, and the role as "a declaration of war against [industry problem]". The job paid around £20k less than the industry average for the level of experience required. Sometimes I find myself wondering who they found for that

‘Hit the ground running’
= We will give you fuck all training and a massive backlog of work.

I think every job listing should state the salary.

There's nothing worse than interviewing for a job to discover the pay is crap, this wasting my time and the interviewers times.

some of them just seem to want the most amazing people "inspirational, really to make big changes, ambitious, further their knowledge in xyz ways, etc etc etc" and I think even for something I'd be qualified for and good at, that I'd never describe myself as half the things they list.

Beef, yes! ‘Hit the ground running’
= We will give you fuck all training and a massive backlog of work.

When it's a part time job, something like 16 hours per week (I've seen some that are 8 hours pw too) and the ad says something like "must be flexible and available to work Monday to Sunday doing shifts on a rota which includes earlies, nights, days, evenings and weekends"

If someone is looking for a part time job, they're generally either wanting some work/life balance or they're wanting a job to fit around existing commitments. If you're happy to be available 24 hours a day 7 days a week, you'd surely be working full time!

I should add, they usually include something about being a team player and being flexible to cover shifts

What even does geeked out mean? Ewww.

Hit the ground running = the job has been vacant for 3 months while we fannied about recruiting in a half-arsed kind of way.

Team player = capable of picking up the slack of the two useless members of staff we can’t get rid of.

Conscientious, with an eye for detail = the can’t be arsed and slapdash need not apply