Off-putting lines in job ads?

[Atmywitsend29]

Scrolling the job ads on my night shift, came across a fairly simple job with the line "must have... With infinite levels of patience and understanding"

Backed out of that without applying, now I'm wondering what's the most off-putting line you've read in a job ad before?

"must be very flexible and be prepared to muck in with whatever needs doing"

You want me to work unpaid hours and do whatever shite you throw at me. No thanks.

wage discussed at interview - especially when said by small businesses means less than £4 an hour but its ok because it's off the books and you can stay on benefits

I saw one about 'you thrive on constantly moving goalposts' and didn't apply.

These would then be the same types of employer that moans that the staff aren't suitably grateful for everything the employer supposedly does for them.

I'm on a niche employment FB group and any job ads have to include the minimum salary or they get deleted. It's led to greater transparency and means candidates can make a judgement as to whether they think the salary is acceptable before they apply - important in a role that has a lot of seasonal demands (including very long hours) and extensive travel, but also forced employers to improve their offering to attract decent candidates, because why would you apply to X for £19k when Y is offering £25k and better benefits?

I read one the other day for a fairly senior level office job in a well known company that said 'experience of working with fax machines and computers' - it's 2021 not 1991 FFS!

"We're a family" & "Fast-paced environment" come to mind

People that obviously want people with 6 figure salary skills for 25k a year.
Team player - there’s some real slackers who we can’t get rid of.
Flexible - lots of unpaid overtime
Self starter - we have no one to train you and managment don’t have a clue
Good under pressure - our last few hires left after 10 days.
Target/money driven - you won’t be able to afford to eat off the basic salary so better work 80 hours a week for commission

Wanting candidates that are "passionate" about marketing/book-keeping/retail working/widget production. Whatever happened to requiring basic competence, a willingness to learn and a manner that doesn't grate?

And just as no one else has posted it, here is a link to Thomas Heatherwick's recent advert for a PA .

'Roll up your sleeves and get stuck in.'

In my experience it translates directly to 'We expect lots of unpaid overtime.'

I had an interview once for a "must be ready to hit the ground running" job.

I noticed that it had been advertised six months before, and asked about it in the interview. They said that the candidate they hired didn't work out.

OK. Later questions asked me what my approach would be to database development, and I said I'd need to really thoroughly understand their processes before implementing improvements.

They also asked me a LOT of questions about their charity, when the role was a technical one. (The charity was one that no one could reasonably object to but not many people need urgently).

They rejected me, saying that I "didn't have the passion for the mission" and that they were "looking to hire someone who had the ambition and talent to sort out their database issues immediately".

Six months later, the job was available again... My dad says you should just say what they want to hear and deal with it later, but I'd have been on a hiding to nothing working with people who didn't even understand the competencies they were looking to hire.

Team player must be flexible = pick up slack from the skivers. No thanks.

Competitive salary = shite pay
Fast paced environment/hit the ground running = we are overwhelmed and desperately need more staff/can’t manage our workload

Willing to go the extra mile = we want you to work for free

dubyalass

I think we may be in the same industry.

Any job that is described as “demanding” and requires long hours, for which overtime isn’t payable, but you “may” get time off in lieu if the circumstances allow it.

The lack of salary details drives me mad. Yes, the job does sound interesting, and right up my street, but I’m not going to do it for less than half of my current salary.

@senorafridgidaire

I read one the other day for a fairly senior level office job in a well known company that said 'experience of working with fax machines and computers' - it's 2021 not 1991 FFS!

I bet that was written by their underling who was fed-up with senior exec's faux inability to operate office machinery because such things are beneath their dignity.

And ones where they want a PhD but pay less than £25k.

Piss right off.

Tell us why you want to work here.
I just need a job I don't hate

@BigYellowHat yes I've just accepted a New job precisely because your description is my current job

'12 hour shifts, plus evenings and weekends', makes me think I wont be able to have a life outside work

Puts me in mind of this handy guide to NHS job adverts!

My old place were actually fine to work for but their policy of not putting salaries on job adverts drove & my colleagues nuts.

In the UK certainly it's convention that
"No price tag" = 'only people with no money worries at all should enquire'.

@rooarsome

Puts me in mind of this handy guide to NHS job adverts!

Love this 😂😂

@Hodgehog

dubyalass

I think we may be in the same industry.

are the phrases 45pip and water vole latrine meaningful to you?

@rooarsome

Puts me in mind of this handy guide to NHS job adverts!

This is spot on for any healthcare job ever advertised 😂😂