What ages does motherhood get easier?

[strugglingtostaysane]

Please someone on this gloomy Sunday tell me when does having a child get easier? I've been lurking in a million threads where I keep reading that it's going to get easier when DC are 6/8/12months or any other INSERT HERE age.

I have one toddler 13 months and so far I've hated every stage so far. I don't like being alone with DC, he is so bitey and he pulls my hair all the fucking time. I'm always saying "no gentle hands" or whatever the fuck I'm supposed to say not to traumatise him.

Being a mum is nothing like I expected. I thought I understood the relentless of it but there were so many things I didn't expect like the throwing food on the floor ALL the time or him scratching me on the face, I have so many it looks like I got into a fight with an angry cat.

Now he's past 12months I get asked about having another and I want to scream NEVER!! DH sort of agrees with staying at 1 DC but occasionally has delusions of 2 kids. I asked my mum why she pushed me to have kids when it's so brutal on women and it was for her too and she just said " oh this phase of your life will be over before you know it". I read a thread here the other day about motherhood and it was the most insightful thing I've read since getting pregnant. I didn't appreciate that I wouldn't get to live MY life except in service to others, DS, DH, the dog, family life etc . Yes I get pockets of time, mostly when I'm working or DS is in bed but none of it fulfilling in the same way it was before, but I'm always anxiously thinking about food for the next day or washing clothes or something for nursery or the constant to do list in my head

I want to know when I'm going to start enjoying it or at least when is it less fucking all consuming.

To head off the comments which I know will come: yes I had PND, already taking meds and had therapy, not depressed, already back at work (love my work!!) , probably have ADHD but can't get my GP to accept a diagnosis from my teens. I'm not in the U.K.

It gets easier about 6 then harder again from about 12 (I have daughters, I think that makes a difference!).

The 'golden years' were so great for us that some bright spark over here decided to have another baby when DD1 was 9, nearly 10 so now we have a double whammy of a 4 and 14 year old

My eldest is late 40s. I'm still waiting. To be honest with you the worry never stops and now I worry about the GC, do childcare, have custody of teenage GC so I reckon it's a life sentence.

Sorry not what you wanted to hear. Obviously the physical side gets less but the worry? No that goes on.

From the age of 12.

For me it got really a lot easier when my DC were about three and a half. The primary school years were absolutely lovely. Teen years have gone well for me and now they are young adults (20’s and 30’s) and it’s amazing.

I'd say when they start school!

It will get easier soon !
It's hard when they are young. The scratching you face thing is bad though. I have two boys.
I was fairly strict with them but I appreciate 13 months is very young.

2 a bit easier then it just gets easier and easier gradually. There's always phase and patches of worry and weird behaviour or poor sleep, but they get their passions and they talk which ok can be boring.

Mine is only 3 and always been VERY demanding. I have been worn out for so long I don't even remember how it feels to be rested, with appropriate clean clothes etc.
My experience is limited but I can honestly say it's getting easier by the day. The hardest part has been from closer to two until few months ago (I guess the infamous Terrible Two's?). After that his language started to develop quickly, he had less tantrums and was able to focus on activities for longer periods of time.
I am quite amazed looking him play with his dinosaurs or his cars for almost an hour without coming to look for me!
And I absolutely remember the mess at meal time and how much I hated it. He wanted to throw everything on the floor, sometimes even on the walls. I could not leave any cup of liquid next to him as he would have made such a mess, finding ways to spill it even if spillproof.
Somehow, it magically passed. Now he holds his (plastic) glass waiting for me to fill it, he drinks from it and put it down with no accidents and no temptation to launch it on the other side of the room.
So, to shorten my answer.....I'd say it starts go get easier at 3 for me....

Around 9ish you get a couple of easy years before they become pre-teens and then teenagers, at which point it can get difficult again. I think honestly it depends on the child though.

I have 6 DC ages ranging between 4 months and 25 years, and I've had different experiences with each one because kids - even your own - are all different.

To echo a PP the worry never goes away, though. You just worry about different things the older they get. Sorry!

I think this is different for each child and each parent. I find 0-4 the easiest. Mine seem to get stroppy once they go to school. I adore the baby and toddler stage. I’m not at the teen stage yet.