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ADs and The Brave New World

1000 replies

BogRollBOGOF · 20/10/2021 22:55

When you kind of hope that a new thread meanders on quietly because it means that life is being fairly stable...

What are ADs?

Here's the copy and paste job...

Definition of AD
^AD stands for anti dementor.
There are creatures in Harry Potter called dementors, who suck all hope and happiness from you and eventually take your soul. Way back at the start of the pandemic thread after thread was posted on by posters like this and anyone who'd dare question anything or disagree with anything (like putting cheese in your coffee) was bullied off these threads. And so any actual discussion disappeared and it became an echo chamber of misery.^

We are the antidote to that. We follow the rules, but not the "roolz" and we question and discuss with respect to each other. It's all very civil.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
34
BogRollBOGOF · 09/12/2021 23:08

@Spitspotsput

Will you have a choice though?
I am not repeating my child headbutting the windows in rage and daily sobbing from the other again. They can be educated in school or go down as unauthorised absence; let's see how much school values education. If they'd taken DS1 in when I pleaded a year ago based on his SENs and inability to deal with learning at home having submitted no work in the first 4.5 months off, there might have been more hope of teaching DS2. But we've had over 6.5 months of lost "remote learning" because they simply can not cope with it. They are highly unlikely to have had a sudden enough change in personality/ maturity to be able to cope now.

DS1 in particular was ignored through the first lockdown. We got one call reviewing his SEN targets. No other follow-up in 6 months for a vulnerable child.
DS2's teacher was better.

I care deeply about education. I've given up time regularly through the years, reading with their classes, doing SEN interventions. I have QTS. Trying to force the curriculum on them at home with minimal success is not a healthy approach to learning for life.

We are still healing from the damage done since March 2020.

OP posts:
ISaySteadyOn · 10/12/2021 06:03
Flowers
Caggietambellblack · 10/12/2021 07:50

My employer is being really difficult about me not wearing a mask, since they decided recently everyone must not only me masked walking around but at their desks! Wearing any kind of face covering is something which causes me extreme distress. They sent me a questionnaire to ‘assess risk’ asking about my physical health and after I answered it clarifying that I have no physical health problems they’re acting all confused about why I can’t wear one and wanting further discussion? I don’t have to go into further detail do I?

It’s making me or want to work there. Not an issue as WFH just now but will be in January. Feel very upset they won’t just accept my explanation and are probing further, I don’t want to talk about my reasons, and the thought of doing it with two women from HR who appear devoid of sympathy makes me want to cry.

Caggietambellblack · 10/12/2021 07:50

Not want to work there, sorry’

ISaySteadyOn · 10/12/2021 09:06

That sounds really hard. I don't think it's actually their business why it causes distress. All they need to know is that it does. But I don't know for sure.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 11/12/2021 06:42

@BogRollBOGOF and @Caggietambellblack and anyone else who needs them Thanks

I keep seeing comments over there asking for more measures to be bought in due to hospital wait times and ambulance wait times and people queuing in hospital corridors. How are people treating this like its something new?

5 years ago I collapsed at work in severe pain. I couldn't move without wanting to scream. Work called an ambulance. Were advised that due to wait time for one they'd be better bringing me in. This was at 9am just after.

Once I get there I was laid down in the fetal position crying in agony across 3 seats in reception/waiting room. I stayed there like that until about 3pm.

Then I was put in a wheelchair to go and be admitted to an assessment ward. Round the corner into a huge queue. Was in that queue til gone 11pm when I finally saw a doctor.

The nhs has been falling apart for years. Restrictions and the lack of access to GPs have increased the number of undiagnosed conditions and waiting lists have increased. How are more restrictions better?

LivinLaVidaLoki · 11/12/2021 06:50

Also I'm getting really pissed off with the hypocrisy over there again.

We point out that cancer was going undiagnosed and untreated for periods last year and the effect that will have and no one over there gave a shit. Now they're all "well if hospitals get overwhelmed then cancer patients could end up not being treated. Would you be happy with that?"
No. But you were last year sat on your arse working from home baking banana bread with your kids and living your best life because you could pretend it wasn't happening.

And "look there's data here that shows omicron may be less deadly" is met with sneers and "its far too early to tell....lags....we need more time for more data"
Compared with "there's data here that omicron will evade all vaccines and 1 million people will be hospitalised a day" is met with "quick! Lock down! Shut the schools!!!!"

110APiccadilly · 11/12/2021 06:57

In early 2018, I lay in a carpark for two hours waiting for an ambulance, at which point my colleagues picked me up and moved me indoors - against medical advice which was not to move me in case they damaged me in the process - because they were concerned I'd get too cold (it was snowing). I think the ambulance came an hour or so later.

A couple of days later, the ambulance crew who picked me up the next time, after I think a five hour wait but at least I was indoors that time, insisted I was admitted as giving me morphine + diazapam (sp?) and sending me home was clearly not working, for me or for the ambulance service. I was in an A&E bay for about 12 hours while they waited for a free bed to put me in. This isn't new.

Taswama · 11/12/2021 10:42

Totally agreed.
I spent a night in hospital ten years ago, basically on a bed in a corridor, due to needing antibiotics for a cut that had got infected. They had decided to admit me as the pills alone weren't working but then had nowhere to put me. When I finally saw a doctor the next afternoon he doubled the dose of the pills and sent me home. Much more effective use of NHS resources than me occupying a bed in female geriatrics (I'm one, but not the other) so I could be on a drip.

In good news our works Christmas pub lunch is at least going ahead next week.

BogRollBOGOF · 11/12/2021 11:28

The NHS crumbling in Dec/ Jan is a standard feature over the past decade.

The real issue is in training and retention, efficiency and clear pathways of care-particularly into social care. So much of it is run on a just-in-time basis with little spare capacity. The population grew and aged, and the capacity had not kept up with the change in demand.

When I went into labour, pretty much 11 years ago, DS decided to be born alongside the pre-Christmas induction/ ELCS rush. It took over 24 hours to dilate enough to be admitted and at that point, I was a very long way past paracetomal touching anything. Labour ward was full and the Labour waiting room was busy and I can remember kneeling over a chair trying to do hypnobirthing through it hearing someone on the phone and refering to me "being worse" than she was. When I did get a room at around midnight, the MWs were stretched across too many patients and we barely had one in the room for the next 5 hours. I ended up trying to push a back to back baby out for 2 hours, ended up with an EMCS and he was quickly rescucitated and whisked off to neonatal. No one told me baby was born, I kind of grasped that there was a baby around, people saying "he" and that he was being taken away and croaked at DH to go with him, then ended up in recovery alone as they were in neonatal. DH came back with photos and video of the baby I hadn't seen. I ended up in HDU and fortunately DS stabilised quickly and was brought to me after some hours (it must be so, so difficult for mothers who are separated for days, weeks, months) HDU was good care and support. The next night I was woken up in the early hours to be bundled off to main ward to free up the HDU MW and I was dumped on main ward and left to get on with caring for a baby despite having been unable to move unassisted for two days or infact move much in the previous month due to SPD. There was no point pressing the buzzer as with a staff ratio of 1:14 they just buzzed and buzzed and no one came. On day 4 post birth the ward calmed down to 1:8 and a MW came back on shift aghast that I was still there on a mission to discharge me and argued that my high BP wasn't going anywhere there and I was better recovering at home with extra community checks. That last day MWs who'd been very brusque and perfunctory on previous shifts had that bit more time to be human and care.
On DS's first two birthdays, I sobbed because so much of that confusion, fear, desperateness came back. Second time, I was pregnant and it did push me into getting support for DS2's birth. It had its complications and birth injuries, but because of better staffing, communication and care, it was mentally a much better birth.

There's been very little time in the past 30 years where waits for treatment (be it A&E or waiting lists) have come down to far more reasonable levels after Blair threw lots of money at it (the overtime money on an "initiative clinic" was amazing if you could get it! I only staffed one or two)

Talking to a friend with a strategic backroom role last winter, she was saying that winter seemed like a shock to the hospital each year and they couldn't see the annual pattern. One year they did put more planning into resourcing the winter and while busy, they didn't get those regular cusp of a crisis moments.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 11/12/2021 14:31

I suspect thr the NHS has brought extra bed blockage on themselves. Sons friends family own three nursing homes. If an inmate goes into hospital the owners DO NOT discount so £1K A week is still paid by family to hold their place. If the monthly payment is on the 1st inmate died on the 2nd not one family has ever asked for a rebate.

Imagine having a business like this where you're paid for a service you avoid providing and the family are grateful

MrsEWeatherwax · 11/12/2021 15:07

3 people to be able to visit loved ones in care homes. What an awful choice to be made 😢.
Now masks are back, I’m doing the last of my Christmas shopping online. I’m done

WouldBeGood · 11/12/2021 15:10

Back to only deathbed visits at my local hospital.

They’re struggling for staff owing to staff isolating.

This is no good.

soberfabulous · 11/12/2021 16:33

@Worldgonecrazy

Ha! I have a Capricorn and she is all about efficiency and lists!
Mine's a Virgo and same Grin

Delurking to say: utterly bemused and disappointed at this ongoing shit show.

This thread remains a welcome respite form the madness out there.

thenightsky · 11/12/2021 16:37

If an inmate goes into hospital the owners DO NOT discount so £1K A week is still paid by family to hold their place. If the monthly payment is on the 1st inmate died on the 2nd not one family has ever asked for a rebate

Similar happened to a friend of mine. Her grandfather died on the 2nd and the monthly payment had gone through 12 hours earlier. They DID fight it but lost.

ISaySteadyOn · 12/12/2021 10:48

Can I have a bit of a handhold please? I just feel really down this morning. I'm effing tired of my dyspraxia and wishing I could DIY and make useful things. I feel like I'm replaceable. I wish I could take the children to a museum but am unable to face the booking and challenges to barefacedness lanyards not withstanding. I have been to every suitable playground within a five mile radius multiple times over the past years. I just want to stop.

110APiccadilly · 12/12/2021 11:39

@ISaySteadyOn Flowers

I am not dyspraxic but I am really, really clumsy and can empathize with wishing I could DIY/ craft. Particularly as all the females on DH's side of the family are amazingly good at sewing/ knitting/ cake decorating/ interior decor and it's inevitable that I compare myself to them.

But you have your own skills and no one else is quite like you. You're not replaceable. Someone else might be better at DIY, but so what? It's not being good at stuff that makes the most difference in the world, it's (at the risk of being saccharin) loving people. No one else will love your children in the same way you do, and that's what matters most.

Sorry, not all that good at words (maths person here, ok?!) but I'm hoping it makes sense.

ISaySteadyOn · 12/12/2021 11:57

Thanks. And I would argue that you are pretty good with words. Smile

I feel a bit better for getting that out and we're just off for a family walk so that will help too.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 12/12/2021 16:13

Piccadilly put it perfectly, Steady. I'm another one who is really clumsy and wishes I were better at many things. Current one is tween daughter getting really upset with me cos I can't do nice hair like French plaits and things! I've mostly made peace with just being me now I'm in my 40s but know how you feel FlowersFlowers

ISaySteadyOn · 12/12/2021 19:13

I'm good at losing board games 😛

ISaySteadyOn · 12/12/2021 19:14

And enjoying myself while doing so.

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 12/12/2021 20:00

Me too Steady but I have managed to give birth to the world's most competitive children! Most games are a nightmare in our house! Certainly not something I want to stay home doing!!

ISaySteadyOn · 13/12/2021 08:04

Here's someone who finds me tolerable as I provide food and door opening.

An ancient Japanese emperor once wrote of his cat 'I believe my cat is superior to all other cats'. That may have been true then but now it is clearly the cat in the picture who is superior to other cats 🐱

ADs and The Brave New World
MrsDeaconClaybourne · 13/12/2021 08:32

I'm a dog rather than a cat person but s/he is gorgeous 😍

MrsDeaconClaybourne · 13/12/2021 08:33

I have to say, spending more time with my dog, and getting another puppy earlier this year, is the only very small light in the gloom of lockdowns.

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