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Original poster

I’m struggling with decluttering after hoarding for over 10 years

108 replies

anotherDayofThis · 17/10/2021 09:23

I was a hoarder and started trying to sort my home out over a year ago.

Had a break as had a baby during lockdown and since august I’ve restarted the effort and I am exhausted!

There’s too much stuff !!!! Every DAY I’m getting rid of approx 3-4 bin bags full. I’m seeing no improvement yet and I’m so desperate to get it done by nov so that I can then decorate for Xmas and relax for once but I’m losing motivation.

I’m making the mistake I think of not doing one area at a time ? As in I’ll think ‘oh I’m in the kitchen the foods cooking il do that one drawer’ then later ‘dc in the bath , I’ll sit here by the door decluttering the books’ or ‘dc watching CBeebies so I’ll declutter the toys in the playroom’ and I just don’t do one job at a time so every room is partially done .

Any tips ? Or something that will motivate me as it’s Sunday and I just want to sit down but I know I have to get on and declutter more and I’m exhausted

OP posts:

smallandimperfectlyformed · 17/10/2021 09:25

Is there any possibility of having someone come and help you? It sounds overwhelming to me how much you have to do. Well done on what you have managed so far, there's no way that hasn't made a difference.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 17/10/2021 09:25

I don't have any tips, but I think it's incredibly impressive that you are doing it, and it sounds like you are doing such an amazing job.

Might it help to take before and after photos? Even if it's just one drawer or bookshelf? To look back of for motivation.

PlantDoctor · 17/10/2021 09:28

Well done! What changed for you to start decluttering, as I know hoarding can be a massive mental challenge to overcome. It might be more motivational if you did focus on a single room if you have a chunk of time, but doing little bits when you get five minutes as you are doing will definitely help!

Lockdownbear · 17/10/2021 09:29

I think I'd do the living room. So you have one room that's clear are ready for Christmas.

Kids stuff is an on going issues in most houses.
But you need to stop so much coming into the house. So be mindful when your giving out ideas for Christmas and buying yourself what stuff you have and space.

MimosaFields · 17/10/2021 09:29

Do you have any friend who could help and be ruthless? I helped a friend with this a few years ago and I found it easy because I had no emotional attachment to her things. Everything that didn't fit or was useless went into a bag, into my car and gone to charity by the end of the day. It took us several weekends but it was done!

SentDeliveredRead · 17/10/2021 09:31

Bloody hell, well done so far. Clearing 10 years of stuff will take a while so don't beat yourself up. Set a realistic time limit for clearing everyday. Then stop
It's not a race

Original poster

anotherDayofThis · 17/10/2021 09:34

Unfortunately nobody who can really help (well except dh who takes the dc out/plays with them while I declutter)

I think it just suddenly hit me with lockdown that I couldn’t open any drawers or cupboards without stuff falling out and I had drawers full of clothes and I couldn’t find anything to wear as none of it actually fit and I felt so depressed as each day I was surrounded by so much stuff and couldn’t go out anymore to get away from it all.

I think before and after photos would help I need to do that. I think this week I’ve just felt my motivation really go down

OP posts:

Cindi85 · 17/10/2021 09:34

It's a marathon, not a sprint. Sounds like you are doing amazing and 3-4 bin bags a day is going to add up eventually. Are you bringing more stuff into the house? I would have a rule that of you bring a new object into the house you have to remove 2 (on top of the stuff you already got rid of that day).

HarrisMcCoo · 17/10/2021 09:36

OP I am in this situation too. I have 4 DC and youngest is 4yo so really need to get toys decluttered before attempting all my paperwork. It's draining thinking about all the mess.

InconvenientPeg · 17/10/2021 09:36

I think you're going the right way about it. It's tempting to try to blitz it, to see results, but what inevitably happens, is you end up having to leave it half finished, then it gets worse.

Two or three bags a day out of the door is amazing, and tackling it in 5 min sprints or a draw at a time keeps it moving a manageable.

Try to take a step back and see what you've already achieved, even if it's just a draw that you can now open and see what's in it. And keep going. You've got 6 more weeks til the end of November, that's time for a lot more bags to leave the house.

lucysmam · 17/10/2021 09:36

I think you've probably hit the nail on the head when you said about doing a bit in the kitchen, then a bit in the bathroom. Little bits all over aren't going to have an instant impact like taking the 4 bags out of just the one place will, imo.

BeardedDragon's idea of a before/after photo is good. So then you can look back and see the progress you are making.

Maybe pick one room (bathroom? - usually smaller so results should be faster?) & take a photo, then have an hour in there, snap another photo, and then a sit down with a brew and see what you actually have achieved.

You can't do it all at once, because it didn't all get there at once. & I think trying to do so much will wear you down to thinking like "what's the point".

Good luck with it. I hope you get to where you want to be, to get those decorations up

TicTac80 · 17/10/2021 09:36

First off, I think you’re amazing for starting the process of decluttering. It’s a hard enough job at the best of times! I’m about to declutter my attic and am dreading it!!!

I think that if you are able to get shot of a bag of rubbish and a bag for charity each day (or even a bag of each for each day of the weekend) then, that’s great. Are you on your own? If so, really good idea to try and get a friend or even two friends on board to help. I’ve helped a friend in the past to do this.

HarrisMcCoo · 17/10/2021 09:40

I have given old pots and pans to the local nursery last month, and getting rid of stuff in the office. Loft is full. I find it hard to just get the time to declutter. You have now got me in the zone👍

mum2jakie · 17/10/2021 09:40

Well done for making a start.

I would agree with taking photos as inspiration if you're flagging. Also think the suggestion of starting with an 'easier' room such as the bathroom will help to see quicker improvements. In fact, you've inspired me to do the same myself. I'm going to do one small area at a time as I'm desperate to clear our house to allow us to do repairs/refurbs but it's such a slow process!

HarrisMcCoo · 17/10/2021 09:42

Keep going OP, you are doing great 🙌

Original poster

anotherDayofThis · 17/10/2021 09:42

I think doing my wardrobes has confused me…they were full to the point of creaking. I’ve got rid of approx 10 bin bags of stuff and they are still full 🤦‍♀️ Not creaking anymore but full so I feel like I’ve put in so much time and energy and still not seeing the big results I wanted

OP posts:

Breathmiller · 17/10/2021 09:44

A bit at a time is the way forward for me. Just keep chipping away at it. In some ways it doesn't matter whether you tackle the house as a whole and just pick and clear out things everywhere or if you do areas at a time. It's all moving in the right direction. If the whole house feels chaotic then kind of taking the top layer of stuff off first can help I think. Then you can start to home in on areas.

Pick a shelf. And clear everything off it. Clean it. Then put back only what you want. The house can be messy around that shelf but the wee dopamine hit you get when you see that tidy shelf (or drawer or cupboard or windowsill) is really inspiring and makes you want to do another.

I have an attic space that I use for work as well as other things and I tidied up my work bookshelf. It makes me feel so good when I see it. Like a sense of calm.

There's a great thread on here called 'one project a day'. I dip in and out of it and it keeps me accountable. Just think today that you are going to do one thing. Could be your underwear drawer. Or your kids t-shirt drawer. Or the windowsill in the living room. That's all. One thing. Then it doesn't seem overwhelming. Of course after your one thing is perfect, you are able to do one more thing. They all add up.

My motto in these situations if potential overwhelm is
"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time " or
"How do you move a mountain? One pebble at a time"

DollyPartBaked · 17/10/2021 09:45

I agree with doing a room at a time I think at this point when your motivation is flagging - I do that when the mess gets too much and every room is chaos. It can be demotivating to be doing little bits all day long and see no progress.

I agree about doing the bathroom first (if it needs it) as should be small and you won't be attached to anything. Then the living room / room you spend a lot of time in next.

And then I'd probs carry on as you are!

Toodlydoo · 17/10/2021 09:47

I think if you stop stuff from coming in your way will definitely work over time. But if you need to feel like you are making progress 1 room at a time. Even if you allocate a week to just that room.

I’m trying to start de-cluttering and I’m setting an alarm for ten minutes and doing whatever I can on the thing I’ve chose. Today it was DD clothes, bin-liner full. I find it easier to pick a category clothes/toys/equipment as it’s straightforward then and not open ended with trying to sort through different piles of stuff. I figure miscellaneous will be easier once the major categories have been taken care of.

Tbh though you sound like you are doing an amazing job already!

Westside1 · 17/10/2021 09:47

Sounds like you are doing great. I thinks the suggestion of even just getting living room done by Xmas is good. I set myself a target of 10 items a day and it’s really making a difference

Toodlydoo · 17/10/2021 09:48

Definitely getting the living room done will make a massive difference to how you feel. One space that’s done and you can relax in.

Breathmiller · 17/10/2021 09:51

@anotherDayofThis

Can you order the wardrobes more? So, put shirts together. Trousers together.

Can you get storage boxes for under your bed or on top of your wardrobe and put away stuff you don't need for now. A box for summer clothes, a box for bags, a box for special occasion clothes.

I did this just recently in the summer and it makes my wardrobe much more accesible. I've got the stuff in there that I use. It does need sorted again actually. But it will be easier thos time. It also helped me see that there are things I wasn't letting go of that I really will never wear. So, if something is in a box for a reason, like a season or special occasion that's fine but it helped me be a bit more honest about stuff that I was just not letting go of.
It means when you open your wardrobe you don't have to sift through loads of clothes that are no use to you right now.

Original poster

anotherDayofThis · 17/10/2021 09:51

Thankyou so much. I’m going to get on with the living room today then and see if I can do as much as possible!

OP posts:

DoItAfraid · 17/10/2021 09:53

@MimosaFields

Wow please may you come round mine?!

OP well done for getting started. I agree with the poster who suggested getting some help. So I would say the kitchen I would probably want to do myself but I’d definitely pay ££ for someone to sort the playroom!

Also like the idea of taking photos to record progress.

Breathmiller · 17/10/2021 09:53

Yay! Good luck. It will feel so nice to have a nice space to retreat to.

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