Having friends round for takeaway - who pays?

[Thepurpleturtle]

Having a takeaway with friends at your house.

Who pays?

The host or split the bill?

I’ve been to people’s houses for takeaway. Host has always paid but we’ve brought over wine/beer.

It was different when I was younger (early 20s or so) and friends and I often had takeaway pizza or curry together, always just paid our own way, but it seems different now.

If I invite someone round it is always with the intention to pay for food/provide drinks. I always found that to be the basic assumption.

However if they insist on splitting it I always agree to.

There are also instances I'll pay so special occasions/skint friends etc. It's all relative.

If you've INVITED them for a takeaway you should pay.

If you invited them to eat, host should offer to pay - but to be honest I'd expect the guests to offer to split the bill.

If you invited them without mentioning food and that was mentioned later, split the bill.

Depends how the invitation came around. If I said "come round for dinner" then chose to get a takeaway I would expect to pay. If I said "come round and we could split a takeaway?" then split it. However I think you make the person aware of the situation at the invite if you expect payment, so they are aware and can make their choices.

If a friend got a takeaway, even if they had said they were paying, I would personally always offer to pay half or ask "are you sure?" while there for manners and to make sure I hadnt misread anything.

@thewhatsit

I’ve been to people’s houses for takeaway. Host has always paid but we’ve brought over wine/beer.

It was different when I was younger (early 20s or so) and friends and I often had takeaway pizza or curry together, always just paid our own way, but it seems different now.

Do you not offer? You say nothing about having people to you and you paying?

If you invite someone over for food / takeaway or don't specify then you pay

UNLESS you specifically said "come over and we'll split the cost of a takeaway"

I would personally always offer to pay half or ask "are you sure?" while there for manners and to make sure I hadnt misread anything.

I personally don't think "are you sure?" is the same as offering. It's a half hearted attempt to make it look like you are but the only polite response is "yes of course"

@BunnytheFriendlyDragon

I would personally always offer to pay half or ask "are you sure?" while there for manners and to make sure I hadnt misread anything.

I personally don't think "are you sure?" is the same as offering. It's a half hearted attempt to make it look like you are but the only polite response is "yes of course"

The post you've quoted says they'd offer OR ask if the host was sure, not that asking if they're sure is how they'd offer.

Depends on the friends! Usually we would pay if hosting

To those who say that the host always pays, don't assume that's the case unless the host has explicitly said so.

Say "how much do I owe you?" if they've ordered and paid. If they're happy to pay they'll tell you.

The post you've quoted says they'd offer OR ask if the host was sure, not that asking if they're sure is how they'd offer.

I know what the post says but the same applies. Asking "add you sure?" is a big meaningless IMHO.

I would pay if I invited someone to mine for food but I would always offer to contribute if I was the guest.

We pay for what we order individually or in couples. That's the culture of our friend group. I pay if I invite people over for home cooked meal, but takeout, I wouldn't foot the bill.

Depends on the situation and I would make it clear from the beginning. If I invited someone for dinner, it would be me paying. But in the middle of Covid, when we had the nicest outdoor space and that was the only place you could socialize (Scotland so I think the rules were different to England), friends would come over and we would split the cost. Basically if your place has been decided upon by mutual agreement or if it's spontaneous, I would say split.

I agree with some PPs that it really depends on the invitation.

There is a difference between "please come for dinner at my house" in which case the host would pay if they've opted to order in rather than cook, vs "come round to mine on Saturday and lets get a takeaway" in which we would always split the cost.

Theoretically the host would pay (guests would offer and host would decline to accept any money). I say theoretically as I’m 44 and since I’ve left university I’ve never eaten takeaway at someone’s house nor offered it to guests!

Depends how you word it:

‘Do you want to come over and split a take-away?’
Or
‘Do you want to come for dinner?’

Depends on what you agreed before hand, if I said come round mine and i will but a take away , I would
If we said how about instead if going out we get a take away at mine and split the cost
Always make it clear before

I'd definitely pay at my house.

Would offer to pay my share at someone else's (and wouldn't mind if they accepted).

We have two friend groups with whom we do takeaways and in both cases we split it. It's just accepted that's the way it is.

Host pays, it would seem really odd to me to be invited over for a meal and to then be expected to pay towards a takeaway. Be the same as inviting over for a meal that I had cooked and then asking for a contribution.
I suppose it’s fine if everyone’s aware or if that’s the done thing in your friendship group

I think the host pays.

As the host I’d pay, though if the guest offered to split I’d probably accept (unless they had recently hosted us and paid / cooked etc).

As the guest I’d take a bottle of wine and offer to pay for half the takeway.

I'm part of one group of friends who do a 'dinner plus book club' thing.

People either cook, or they buy in a takeaway. Some of us love cooking up & serving supper, others just order & pay for takeaway. Everyone covers the costs of feeding the group when they host.

I'm in another, older book club where we've explicitly banned catering, to avoid people being put off offering to host - we nipped in the bud a spot of competitive buffet offering, & actually the other 'dinner & books club' is the resulting spin off solution. We meet at 8pm so everyone's had a chance to eat beforehand - bowls of crisps, nuts etc are standard.

With another group of mates - we are neighbours - it's usually 'so, drinks & takeaway at Corvus/whoever's?' & we will all pay our way. Quite often everyone's 3 drinks in by the time the takeaway arrives so we split equally rather than poring over the bill.

Equally, if one of us invites the others to dinner, they do food, guests bring copious quantities of booze, & it all balances out over time.

So I don't think there is one answer.

But FWIW, my friends & I are all 45+ & mostly quite comfortably off, so it's not going to be a huge issue. People might chunter, but these days no one is going to be left skint whatever the arrangements.

At 25 it would absolutely have been different expectations. Takeaway costs were split, & dinner parties were very much 'bring a dish to share' back then.

I'd pay as the host

I've never had a friendship group who haven't split it, though the host always offers they end up with cash in their account later in the evening!