Rage against the washing machine

[ManyManyBiscuits]

I've just been to a gig. Three bands were on, two of them were a bit shit; all of them were exclusively middle aged men. Frequently singing about girls as if they were still 23.

It made me think; there should be more middle-aged lady bands, singing about middle-aged lady things.

What would the songs on our set list be?

Hot flash
I think you'll find I DGAF
Skinny jeans and a nice top
I feel alive (wild swimming)
What did I come in here for again?

I can kill you and make it look like an accident

If you comment on dinner you'll be in it next time

The shite that you leave just won't flush itself

Definitely a little bit country i think

Your dinner is in the cat.
Policemen are looking younger.
I remember that sing from the 1st time around.

Not just pink vinyl, but 360g pink vinyl. It would have been 180g but things ain't what they used to be in the weight department.

I'm crying laughing here

The snacks are in the snack cupboard
Where they have always, always been

Punk version

Snacks in the fucking cupboard
Feed yourselves bitches

It might never happen, but I don't owe you a smile.

As per my last email

More upbeat;

It's got pockets

‘I swear this fucking hair wasn’t on my chin yesterday’ (Peri Meno Club Remix)

Bath time - without yooooouuuuu

The KKK took my sex drive away

One night in our shack feels like a year in any other place!!! !

"Where have you gone to, my lovely?" - Ode to my reading glasses.

@Breathmiller

"Where have you gone to, my lovely?" - Ode to my reading glasses.

Where have you gone, to my lovely. Oh there you are, still on my head.

Fuck off

@BlackeyedSusan

Fucking hell, just proved the bloody point by forgetting what I was going to post...

Bring the glasses from your room.

Why am I so tired (all the time)

The dog shat on the floor again.

Put the subtitles on (my hearing’s fine)

Stuck in the sidings of life

John, you’re only sneezing, but it turns me off (ft. David Bowie)

Paddling in the shower, because of the crap (that you never clean from
the shower trap)

What this old thing? I’ve had it years.

Because I said so.

No I’m not doing dinner, are you?

Please fuck off.

Who did you see?

Pass me the fucking wine

@HunkyPunk

Put the subtitles on (my hearing’s fine)

Stuck in the sidings of life

John, you’re only sneezing, but it turns me off (ft. David Bowie)

Paddling in the shower, because of the crap (that you never clean from
the shower trap)

I think we might need to headline with John Shuttleworth as the support act:

@southbailey

Bring the glasses from your room.

Why am I so tired (all the time)

The dog shat on the floor again.

To the tune of 'help me make it through the night'

Bring the glasses from your room
Your black socks are in the hall
Pick the towel up from the floor
Wipe that bogey off the wall

If you did the first time it wouldn't become a nag.