Those of you with husbands aged 55+, are they grumpy old men?

[Sfuandtired]

Just that really, obviously a big generalisation I know, but this seems very common among people I know, when they get to this age it’s as if a switch is flicked and they turn into grumpy moaners.

@waybill

Yes, but them I'm a grumpy old woman, so we moan together.

Same here

@Eaumyword, I’m so sorry to hear this :(. Living with an unhappy man sucks the joy out of life.

It really does, doesn't it
My solution is to keep busy being my teen's Uber transport, work and lots of friends, which makes me joyful and keeps me young. He has no friends.
I'd like nothing more than to spend spare time with him but am afraid of making him angry which he is much of the time. Christ knows what will happen when he retires early next year.
Sorry, this thread was lighthearted-ish.
I've chuckled watching Jack Whitehall's Travels with my Father. His dad is funny grumpy

@Eaumyword

It really does, doesn't it My solution is to keep busy being my teen's Uber transport, work and lots of friends, which makes me joyful and keeps me young. He has no friends. I'd like nothing more than to spend spare time with him but am afraid of making him angry which he is much of the time. Christ knows what will happen when he retires early next year. Sorry, this thread was lighthearted-ish. I've chuckled watching Jack Whitehall's Travels with my Father. His dad is funny grumpy

I like how you are handling your life! Happy to know he hasn’t dragged you down with him. Also know that it is alright to decide you no longer wish to live with someone who is not delighted to be with you. 💐

Yes, my DH will be 64 soon and has driven me mad talking non-stop about Brexit, doing "research" on Covid and falling asleep at 3pm in the afternoon. I have only found out about the latter since I started working from home. Hmmm!
That said he has been briliant ferrying me about to various medical appts, can cook up a storm and still has a sense of humour once I get him off the subject of Brexit!

Is there any evidence as to this male manopause ? Can they get treatment like we do for hrt ? Seems to be a real thing

@Loocheeyar

Is there any evidence as to this male manopause ? Can they get treatment like we do for hrt ? Seems to be a real thing

www.nhs.uk/conditions/male-menopause/

I had presumed it was largely falling testosterone levels and the 'invisible old man' syndrome, my name for it, like old women are ignored I'm sure it happens to men. DCs are not interested in their views on stuff, and they may have given up work, so basically they're a bit of a nuisance (joking), women are still needed to run the home, look after DGCs.
I do seem to have to listen to more longwinded mansplaining from older men than when they were younger.
There are tablets for erectile dysfunction so sex doesn't necessarily stop.

The testosterone level theory is untrue apparently.

This from the NHS link a couple of posts up:

Is there such a thing as a 'male menopause'?

The "male menopause" (sometimes called the andropause) is an unhelpful term sometimes used in the media.

This label is misleading because it suggests the symptoms are the result of a sudden drop in testosterone in middle age, similar to what occurs in the female menopause. This is not true.

Although testosterone levels fall as men age, the decline is steady at less than 2% a year from around the age of 30 to 40, and this is unlikely to cause any problems in itself.

A testosterone deficiency that develops later in life, also known as late-onset hypogonadism, can sometimes be responsible for these symptoms, but in many cases the symptoms are nothing to do with hormones.

Grumpy occasionally but worst of it all...is the utter hypochondria - literally sits and googles all his possible and potential symptoms ( all mild and transient, skin rashes, eczema, toe problems etc blah blah blah ) and which specialist he can next consult - whilst he still has company health insurance. SO wearing.....then - goes out and has a pint and overeats ....to think, another 20 years of this :(

DH is driving me mad. Will post with more details after I've endured the Christmas holidays with him

No but I am grumpy at times.

My husband was a grumpy old man when I married him, despite being only 32.

No.

Happy, funny - makes me laugh and smile every day. We do a lot together and also follow our own interests separately.

I think if they were inclined to crossness anyway they become grumpier when older.

Beware angry young men would be my advice to young women. That boundary pushing firebrand will be Victor Meldrew in thirty years.

Similarly, kooky disregard for fashion becomes unkempt sadsack with the passage of time.

Yes I call him Victor Mildew x

Nope, mine is 60 in June. He’s full of joy, kindness, good humour and wit. He’s currently in the kitchen loading the dishwasher singing along to Queen. He’s arranged a Christmas Quiz with 10 rounds, we’re starting soon. There are boxes with props, clues and envelopes with 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize sitting in the office. He’s been planning it for a week.
He’s now making liquer coffee for everyone (we have 3 guests) and I can hear his bellowing laugh from here as he gently takes the mick out of his darling Mum who moved in with us in September.

He’s a legend.

Not here - DH is 56 and is cheerful, kind and happy - he makes up his own songs. 😄 he has lots of energy, we recently did a 3 week mountain climbing holiday.

Mine was always grumpy.

Since he lost both his parents he has not been the same person. I don't know if it is age or grief or tiredness. More dour than grumpy.

bump - DH is 51 and is either working, talking about work or sleeping

I have started to carve out some hobbies for myself, he isn't interested in doing anything

bump - DH is 51 and is either working, talking about work or sleeping

I have started to carve out some hobbies for myself, he isnt interested in doing anything

Mine was a hateful sighing cunt. Turns out he was planning a new life with someone else and was trying to get me to end the marriage so he could maintain his good guy image

No. He's very sweet and funny. Makes me laugh several times a day even when I'm trying to give him a hard time. He thinks I'm funny even when I try to show him a stern face. Love him to bits.

My 59 year old isn't!

Very much a generalisation