Can I go to church if I'm not religious?

[Lonelymum21]

I'm a single mum to 2 dc in primary school. I have no friends, no family, and zero support network around me. Ex dp will take the kids 4 nights a month max.

I'm so fucking lonely it hurts. I really miss adult conversation and days out. If my car breaks, tap starts leaking, or something goes wrong there is no one to ask for advice. I don't want a romantic relationship but desperately want to belong to a community. I wfh so no chance to meet adults there. Would it be terrible to get involved with the local church even though I'm an atheist? There's a lovely village church about 5 miles from me, and I always feel so jealous driving past and watching all the happy families spilling out after a service. I don't really know what else I could do that I could bring the dc along with me.

You definitely don't have to be christened to attend Church.
When my adult DD died (she had a life limiting condition) we decided that we would like her funeral at the CofE Church in our village, so that the local people who knew her could easily attend. Neither me nor DH had ever attended the church although we had been there for school events when DS was at the attached primary school. We contacted the vicar who was so welcoming and said that the church was very much available for the whole community and that we were welcome to have DDs funeral there even though she had never been christened. (DH has and I had been baptised as a Catholic but neither of us follow religion).

We also have a baptist church in our village who run lots of activities for anyone in the community. So I would say go and I hope you find a warm welcome and friendship.

If your local Parish Church has happy looking people coming out after a service, that is a GOOD sign.
Get started would be my view.

Definitely go, at any of the churches I have attended you would be very welcome and it should open the door for lots of different socialising opportunities for you and DC.

Defo go, tbh I reckon a lot of my congregation sort of believe but go for the community element. I've literally never discussed any "god" elements with fellow mums. And the sermons are generally using Jesus to talk about current issues.

I've made loads of friends and think it's so interesting to meet a whole range of age and social backgrounds

@Bigbluebus That's a lovely story. I'm so glad you found support during that time

I've looked into scouts and guides, but I have a boy and a girl so I can't really get involved with running the groups as I have nowhere to leave the other dc. Both dc are doing well in school and attend lots of extra curricular activities. It's just me that feels left out!

@October2020

This is absolutely what church is for. Go along, you'd be SO welcome x

This

You will not be the only person there for this reason. A church is the basis of community for many.

As for religion well this is what you do or don’t make it IMO but you will find some church leaders are more ‘religious’ to listen too than others but you can take the sentiment or a quiet moment of peaceful reflection as needed :)

Yes go!
I'm a Christian but I don't attend church services apart from Christmas, Harvest Festival etc. However since I got involved with bellringing I somehow seem to have also got roped in (see what I did there!) with fetes, coffee mornings, gardening in the churchyard, all sorts of things. 😊

Yes. Although I've never found church that chatty. My dc's just want to get going afterwards so I head off. I find a service very grounding though so I go along once in a blue moon.
You could also try adult (saturday) and junior (sunday) parkruns if you have them. Puts a few local names to faces.
I'm a LP too and it's hard to get to know people.

I was never christened and I was church organist for a few years when younger! Go for it.

Girls can go to Scouts too OP - but of course that might not help if your DC go at different times due to their age gap.

This is a good thread to read.
I took my son to a Salvation Army playgroup last week, to try and get him to socialise with other children. I felt a bit weird when they did a prayer and religious song because I hadn’t mentioned I’m an atheist and raising my son the same way, so I did wonder if we would have been welcome if they were aware.

It seems like I don’t have anything much to worry about.

Yes this is why my mum started going - she needed something free to do with us on a Sunday morning when my dad was working shifts, so needed a quiet house.

I think a lot of people go for company/community, it's a wonderful thing. And yes, I'm an atheist too! I also think it's quite useful for kids to learn about it all, even if its just so they know what to do at weddings etc.

I was never christened and I was church organist for a few years when younger

Are you my son?

I hope you will go and find it friendly and welcoming OP.

I’m not religious, haven’t been inside a church for years except for weddings, funerals and carol services, but there’s a lovely old village church a short walk from a dd’s house (with a lovely old pub right opposite!) and I often think that if I lived near one like that, I’d go, just for the lovely peaceful atmosphere - and I do like a lot of traditional old hymns.

We attended a children’s Christmas Eve crib service there a couple of years ago - it was packed, we all enjoyed it - and had a quick one at the pub on the way home of course.🙂

They do bell ringing practice on Wednesday evenings - can always hear it from dd’s garden, and I enjoy that, too.

Definitely do it OP!
Nobody will ask if you believe in God, they will just be happy that you are joining in!
I volunteer at the toddler group and am a puppeteer at the all age worship once a month.
My husband is in the choir, does the church gardens and one of my son's is a bellringer 😁
There is something for everyone!

Nobody asks or cares if you've been christened, Church is for all and is also a Christian way to serve our communities regardless of belief.

Boys and girls can join Scouts.

I'm echoing what everyone else is saying and give it a go!
Be prepared to introduce yourself and maybe make the first move to break the ice.
I'm sorry you are feeling lonely. It's a horrible feeling.

Another option, as well as the church could be Meet up.
I'm on several different walking groups on there and sign up for walks when I'm free. I have got to know a few people quite well and have a good natter when they are on the same walks. There's more to meet up than just walking though, there's art and craft groups, running, business meet ups, alsorts of stuff.

I hope something works out for you.

Of course,as long as you choose the right church. The rule is everyone is welcome at church but of course you will find the odd one that doesn't do this.... our church is wonderful,happy clappy and everyone is welcome no matter what their beliefs. I hope you find what you're looking for x

To add to other posts, if the first one isn't welcoming,try another one to find what suits you.

@Grumpyoldpersonwithcats no . But I did rather inherit the job. Don't think they've had an in village organist since I left, but then the church only gets the parish vicar once every three weeks I believe!

Absolutely! I don't go to Sunday services at all now, but I was brought up in a Christian family. My kids do go to Messy Church though, (or did, pre covid - they're just starting up again in the next month or so) and they absolutely love it. Everyone is so friendly, and they're always wanting to seeing new faces. You'll always have someone to chat to and usually a cup of tea and a biscuit to go with it! Definitely try it.

It will be fine, it depends what church you go to as some if they know you don't believe might be a bit heavier with trying to convert you than others. But most will just be glad you came to see what it's about and hope you decide for yourself

Yes definitely go! Hope you enjoy it!