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Original poster

Partner wants abortion

81 replies

Nancepie · 01/10/2021 21:44

Hi so me and my partner have been together 4 years we have children from previous relationships and one daughter together we don’t live together my daughter is 14months old. I found out I was pregnant and he said he would leave and never come back if I keep my baby. He means it but I really don’t want to go ahead with it he now thinks im in because I agreed but I’m scared to tell him I want this baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 21:46

Ps I don’t know if I’ve posted I’m right place first timer

OP posts:
HouseOfFire · 01/10/2021 21:51

OK well I think the relationship is over as he has shown you what kind of person he is.

Do you want to have a baby on your own, can you support yourself without him.
You're already tied to him with your DD - so you dont need to think about that (normally you'd think do i want to be tied to an arsehole for the next 18 years)

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 21:53

He says he’d leave and never see her again… it’s the constant grief I get I’ve trapped him I’m disgusting the list goes on

OP posts:
ManifestingJoy · 01/10/2021 21:56

Wow, are you sure you want this baby? On your own? Another baby? Single parent to two? I'm not judging you, I think you should concentrate on getting back on your feet and looking after your daughter. Forget about him. He sounds like he's not supportive, and trying to manipulate you in to making the decision he wants you to make. Who could want this man back after he told you he'd ''never come back'' if you didn't terminate. That is just so manipulative.

I'd terminate, but not because HE is telling you to, but because he's going to make sure you're 100% responsible for two kids while he enjoys freedom.

value your freedom.

Icecrown · 01/10/2021 21:56

Why don't you want to live together if you and your boyfriend have a child together?

HouseOfFire · 01/10/2021 21:57

@Nancepie

He says he’d leave and never see her again… it’s the constant grief I get I’ve trapped him I’m disgusting the list goes on
Fucking let him go - she will be better without his negative influence
Fluffycloudland77 · 01/10/2021 21:59

Let him go. Whatever you do don’t be alone with him so he can get violent and harm you.

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:00

You don’t need to live together to be in a relationship. I’ve got my head screwed on financially and my children are looked after. I feel like I would regret the abortion and the relationship is over anyway right?

OP posts:
SweetBabyCheeses99 · 01/10/2021 22:03

I hope that the relationship is over - this man sounds awful frankly. If you want to keep the baby then you should do it!

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:04

He also refuses to talk about it he’s very used to getting his own way

OP posts:
Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:06

My family and friends are very supportive of it so that’s a positive

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 01/10/2021 22:11

Well I would definitely get rid of the pathetic arsehole. If you want to keep your baby do it. If you have family support that's great.

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:11

Being responsible for two kids? I love being a mum i could look at it as yeah he’s left me but I’ve got my beautiful children. His loss is my gain

OP posts:
helpforayounggirl · 01/10/2021 22:11

Fuck him off. Good riddance. You want your baby. Have your baby. You've got this. Be a solo mummy warrior!

Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2021 22:13

I wouldn't bring another child into the world with that man as their father. What an absolute pig.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2021 22:14

Was he using a condom?

The relationship is over whatever happens so just weigh up whether or not you’re ready to do it all again on your own.

helpforayounggirl · 01/10/2021 22:15

Your mind is made up. Don't let anyone put you off on here. You sound like you know what you're doing. You've got the money and the support and you want your baby.

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:17

Helpfor exactly….. weighing it up the thought of the abortion makes me sad and il regret it

OP posts:
Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:19

Everyone has there opinion it’s the struggle I’d face of him because I know he’ll be on at me calling me selfish I’ve trapped him. The only option I would have is to cut him out so not stressed

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2021 22:24

If he’s said he’ll leave you and no longer see DD why would he give you hassle?

You can box any stuff up and leave it outside your door, then block him.

If he changes his mind about seeing DD he can request contact through official channels and you can claim maintenance whether or not he has contact. It’ll be reduced because he’s already got other kids but you should get something.

Original poster
Nancepie · 01/10/2021 22:30

Not hassle me for me hassle to get the abortion. As for money I’m ok I don’t care if he pays for his kids or not

OP posts:
nimbuscloud · 01/10/2021 22:30

Claim maintenance.

Sunbird24 · 01/10/2021 22:33

He’s not really making any sense there - why was one child ok but a second one would be trapping him?
Do whatever you feel is best for you and your family, sounds like the relationship is screwed either way now.

Heruka · 01/10/2021 22:33

You can’t have a termination under duress, or because someone else wants you to or thinks it’s a good idea. You sound clear about how feel. I’m sorry he’s such an arsehole Sad

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/10/2021 22:34

How’s he going to hassle you if you tell him he’s dumped, you’ve left his stuff outside and then block him? Are you scared of him?