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Original poster

Partner wants abortion

81 replies

Nancepie · 01/10/2021 21:44

Hi so me and my partner have been together 4 years we have children from previous relationships and one daughter together we don’t live together my daughter is 14months old. I found out I was pregnant and he said he would leave and never come back if I keep my baby. He means it but I really don’t want to go ahead with it he now thinks im in because I agreed but I’m scared to tell him I want this baby.

OP posts:
Redruby2020 · 02/10/2021 01:45

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters

"As for money I’m ok I don’t care if he pays for his kids or not"

Well that's not very financially savvy or sensible for a start.

Yeah exactly and I get fed up hearing of all these women who don't mind if the dad doesn't pay up! Well some of us do because it's bloody hard on your own otherwise, talk about let someone cop out completely!
Redruby2020 · 02/10/2021 01:47

@Nancepie

No he wasn’t using contraception
So what's his problem then? And were you using anything? Did you talk about further kids, or did neither care and just hope for it all to just sort itself out?!
Fluffycloudland77 · 02/10/2021 08:19

You sound very strong to have not caved by now.

You’ve got support and don’t want an abortion so there’s nothing else for him to do is there?

MenoMom · 02/10/2021 09:03

He’s harassing you, so you should talk to the police.

I’m not in the UK but was in the same situation and police were very helpful, offered to visit him and explain that if harassment continued that they would charge him. I told him I what they told me and that if he continued to pressure me to have an abortion that he would get a visit from the police and all contact from him stopped right away. I wish i’d done it sooner - he was still trying to get me to abort at 4 months.

HeyFloof · 02/10/2021 10:56

@Nancepie

He said there should be laws for men with this stuff
So at best, he thinks he should be able to legally abandon you with two small children and not pay towards them.

At worst he thinks he should be allowed, legally, to force you to have an unwanted (and therefore traumatic for you) medical or surgical termination against your will.

🚩🚩🚩🚩

Let him go, lock the door behind him and don't look back. Whatever you do with regards to this pregnancy, he is not a positive influence on your children.

Mariell · 02/10/2021 11:02

Anyone that suggested having an abortion to me would be shown the door.

Mariell · 02/10/2021 11:02

🌹

Original poster
Nancepie · 02/10/2021 11:41

Thanks I know I’ve blocked him this morning as he is trying to stress me out, he said he no longer wants to see his daughter and that’s fine to say he hasn’t hurt me but il be ok

OP posts:
HeyFloof · 02/10/2021 11:50

@Nancepie

Thanks I know I’ve blocked him this morning as he is trying to stress me out, he said he no longer wants to see his daughter and that’s fine to say he hasn’t hurt me but il be ok
Well done, you and your daughter deserve better.

Just as an aside though, be prepared for him to turn around and demand 50/50 access to your little girl, and the baby, if you decide to continue with the pregnancy.

Chances are he won't do anything of the sort in practice, but it's a common tactic for abusive men to use to try and bully their ex.

Stay strong.

Original poster
Nancepie · 02/10/2021 11:57

He no longer wants anything to do with us he said I’m evil and ruined his life. I can’t see him doing as such. I’m only just realising now how bad it’s been

OP posts:
ManifestingJoy · 02/10/2021 12:02

Wow. He wont want to harrass you for the next 5 years then, what with your being evil....

TicTac80 · 02/10/2021 12:03

Well done for standing your ground and blocking him. He doesn't want to see his daughter? I'd take that as a blessing: I'd not want my kids anywhere near someone with that sort of shitty attitude. While these conversations are fresh in your mind, jot them down and screen shot any of the crap he sent you. If he turns around and tries for 50/50 access/whatever, at least you have something that shows his (reprehensible) behaviour.

And as for him saying that there should be laws for men with this stuff...yes there should be. The laws should state that if a man doesn't want a child, he must sort/source his own contraceptive (and use it!) and/or have a vasectomy, instead of fucking expecting women to sort it every time, then having a shit fit when gasp pregnancy occurs.

Wishing you all the best x

TicTac80 · 02/10/2021 12:05

@Nancepie

He no longer wants anything to do with us he said I’m evil and ruined his life. I can’t see him doing as such. I’m only just realising now how bad it’s been
WTF, you're evil and ruined his life? what the hell did you do? Hold a knife to him and force him to have sex with you? What a prince.
Sparklfairy · 02/10/2021 12:36

If he didn't want a kid he should have used a condom, end of. He doesn't get to throw a tantrum about it now.

Original poster
Nancepie · 02/10/2021 12:38

I’ve blocked him he’s not a nice person

OP posts:
WashingMachineCrisis · 02/10/2021 13:31

I bloody love doing it alone. I was upset at first but now I wouldn’t have it any other way. You obviously want this child, so have it and he can piss right off. Women are strong, you can do it!

Iloveabourbon2 · 02/10/2021 13:35

How is he usually as a dad OP and how is he as a partner normally?

How many children do you have already?

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 02/10/2021 13:38

He sounds awful.
It would actually be better for your daughter to not be raised even in part by a man who so clearly hates women.

Don't have an abortion you do not want to have.

Nocutenamesleft · 02/10/2021 14:30

@Nancepie

He says he’d leave and never see her again… it’s the constant grief I get I’ve trapped him I’m disgusting the list goes on
Oh man

She doesn't need him in HER life. Not the other way around. You don't want a man like that influencing your child together. That's disgusting behaviour

Someone above said are you sure. But you know you want this baby. Please don't do anything now. Think about it and follow your heart. Xxx

Nocutenamesleft · 02/10/2021 14:31

@Nancepie

Being responsible for two kids? I love being a mum i could look at it as yeah he’s left me but I’ve got my beautiful children. His loss is my gain
Yes!!

You sound strong. You've got support. In all ways!

Go for it. Sack him off though. You've got this.

Justilou1 · 02/10/2021 14:37

Start CMS claim today. Even if you put it all in a bank account for your kids, he needs to start being responsible for his own contraception.

ShaneTheThird · 02/10/2021 14:40

@NigelSlatersXmasTaters

"As for money I’m ok I don’t care if he pays for his kids or not"

Well that's not very financially savvy or sensible for a start.

Actually it is sensible. Op knows she can pay for her kids needs herself rather than chasing up money from a deadbeat her kids whole lives.

So many women seem to think they can rely on CMS money off shady men and never see a penny of it. If op doesn't need his money she's in a better position than them women.

TheWeeDonkey · 02/10/2021 15:09

@Nancepie

He no longer wants anything to do with us he said I’m evil and ruined his life. I can’t see him doing as such. I’m only just realising now how bad it’s been
Oh bless you, what a horrible man. You can do this alone and have a good life with your children. He's washed his hands of you all very quickly, I wonder if there is something else going on with him
Original poster
Nancepie · 02/10/2021 15:41

I think maybe he has someone else but it’s okay as I know I’m strong yes it hurts but I can’t change anything.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nancepie · 02/10/2021 15:43

He’s made his feelings completely known a lot of women do it alone

OP posts:
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