Anyone follow the coverage of the Sarah Everard case today and want to vent?

[HangingOver]

I'm home alone today and except for whatsapping my friends have nothing to do with this incandescent rage and hopeless sadness.

Anyone else need to talk?

He's an awful, terrible, man. It's devastating. She must have been so terrified. Her poor family.
The Met also have blood on their hands. I can't see how Cressida Dick can survive this. Bring in the ex-Nottinghamshire female head of police, who deeply understands the problem of misogyny and racism with the forces.

Politicians and media too. When one of world's best loved children's authors gets rape and death threats, that's fine, because she's 'transphobic.' Where was the high-level political condemnation of these threats? How did the media report them? Why weren't police knocking on the doors of the culprits? Rape and death threats towards high-profile women are consistently minimised and glossed over, unlike other types of social media aggression, which make front-page news.

RIP Sarah and all the other women murdered by men.

I'm sick and tired of disgusting men raping and killing women, it never ends. Sex crazed, porn obsessed brutes. I never want another man in my life again - I don't care if there are good ones I don't want to be with any of them.

I find it very odd that considering how much debt he was in (£29k) that he purchased a plot of land just a few months prior to Sarah Everards murder. That to me suggests he was either planning to commit lots of these sorts of crimes and hide bodies there or had already done so. Why would he want a remote plot of land in his circumstances otherwise? A truly evil man.

Yes, it's clear there was a significant amount of planning beforehand. I just don't believe he hasn't done it before because of his age.

@bagelsandbrie

My thoughts too, I hope they've thoroughly investigated the area.
My worry is that this isn't his first killing, although the pattern of his behaviour does suggest it was escalating (the dating subscription and other stuff, indecent exposure and then this).

@sleeponeday thanks for making the suggestion about www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/
From a first read of their annual report it looks as though they are doing some really good work.

That’s the sort of idea I was asking for in a previous post. I’m also still looking for day-to-day behavioural ideas I may not have thought of.

I think I already do most of the other things suggested by other posters for men to do, but it all feels so woefully inadequate given the horrible things that too many people (95-99% of whom are male) continue doing to women.

I don’t know if I can stomach the mitigation today. I just know it’s going to make me so angry.

But we need to know the worst of it, as women we need to know everything about these men. We need every detail to protect ourselves. He is far from the only one.

Hoping for justice for Sarah today.

I don't want to hear his pathetic excuses.

I really hope today brings justice

[quote YankeeDad]@sleeponeday thanks for making the suggestion about www.centreforwomensjustice.org.uk/
From a first read of their annual report it looks as though they are doing some really good work.

That’s the sort of idea I was asking for in a previous post. I’m also still looking for day-to-day behavioural ideas I may not have thought of.

I think I already do most of the other things suggested by other posters for men to do, but it all feels so woefully inadequate given the horrible things that too many people (95-99% of whom are male) continue doing to women.[/quote]
The thing is as individuals none of us can do a lot. It takes lots of people making small changes. I think we are going in the right direction but I would like to see more legislative changes and institutional reform to protect women. I'm going to be writing to my MP to ask what is being done to keep women safe. Probably won't make a blind bit of difference but its something.

Earlier, Radio 4 read out the full text of the victim impact statement from Sarah's mother (read by an actor), it was absolutely devastating to listen to. Her poor family.

@Pallisers

I learnt from a very young age to never trust the police.

I was taught from a young age to never trust the police. And I grew up in a middle class lovely home where we never had a bad encounter with police.

My mother explicitly told us not to stop for a single policeman at night - just drive on to the nearest police station and explain. She told us to look for women to help us if in trouble - not policemen not security guards. I am in my 50s. My mum would be nearly 100 if alive. I think people were more aware of the dangers posed by men back in the day before we had to swallow all this NAMALT and women are evil too etc. my mum (who had a lovely father brothers and husband) knew what the risks for women really were.

I could have written that. I’m mid 50s. As a family we didn’t know any police. But I think my mum had a deep mistrust of men. She always told me to be financially independent, and to get an education. My dad picked me up from clubs even in my early 20s. He would cat nap on the sofa until 2am. I feel so sad today for Sarah. RIP.

@DoraMaude

It's one of the worst things I've ever read. That poor woman. However he is the one to blame - I don't think we should diminish this in any way by seeking to hold anyone else to account. He is an evil man who was entirely responsible for this. Not all men. Not the police.

His nickname was, 'rapist', police officers have nicknames, they are usually based on bad humour, the 7ft recruit might get the name tiny or titch.

This is what his colleagues called him. Rapist should never be a nickname.

This wasn't his first sex crime. He still had his warrant card though.

And we paid his wages, we paid the wages of colleagues who gave him a nickname rather than reporting his behaviour.

Yes he is responsible but the environment he worked in supported him

@timtam23

Earlier, Radio 4 read out the full text of the victim impact statement from Sarah's mother (read by an actor), it was absolutely devastating to listen to. Her poor family.

Yes, I've just sat and cried. I can't find words to express the horror I feel and the depths of sadness for her family.

I personally think that anyone who called him rapist needs to be suspended pending investigation (& should be disciplined for gross misconduct following the investigation). Any superiors who were aware of the nickname should be dismissed.

Assuming they didn't try to take action to report him - if they did, then whoever they reported him to should be suspended, investigated and ultimately dismissed also.

I cannot agree that decent men need to take collective responsibility for male violence against women. In what way is a decent man, with feminist ideals, who cares about the welfare of women, responsible

Why are these decent men not storming parliament every day to demand that women are not kept safe then? Why are they not out on the streets each night ensuring the safety of women. Yes there are lots of what would be considered genuinely decent men out there, but they are all collectively turning a blind eye and allowing a society where VAWG is perpetuated daily to thrive. At the vigil for Sarah Everard, most of the people there were women. Where were all the decent men with feminist ideals that night? Perhaps our bar for 'decent' men is set so low that just not being a violent rapist is enough to get them the title of 'decent'.

@Jasmine11

I cannot agree that decent men need to take collective responsibility for male violence against women. In what way is a decent man, with feminist ideals, who cares about the welfare of women, responsible

Why are these decent men not storming parliament every day to demand that women are not kept safe then? Why are they not out on the streets each night ensuring the safety of women. Yes there are lots of what would be considered genuinely decent men out there, but they are all collectively turning a blind eye and allowing a society where VAWG is perpetuated daily to thrive. At the vigil for Sarah Everard, most of the people there were women. Where were all the decent men with feminist ideals that night? Perhaps our bar for 'decent' men is set so low that just not being a violent rapist is enough to get them the title of 'decent'.

are kept safe of course that should have read!

*Every time men laugh at a nickname like 'The Rapist', every time they get a 'funny' porn video in the group WhatsApp chat and don't call it out, or rape jokes, every time they dismiss misogynistic talk as 'locker room bantz', every time they go to a strip club or brothel on a stag do and 'what happens on the stag stays on the stag', every time they cover for each other....

It all adds up to a culture of seeing women as sub-human. This isn't just one evil person. Almost 3 women a week are murdered in the UK - I think something like 85 women have been murdered by men since Sarah Everard was killed. This is not an anomaly."

I totally agree with all of this. The low level, "acceptable" misogyny allows for the sexual assaults, the rapes, the physical assaults and the murders. It all feeds into the same machine.

And I'm fed up of reading that WC was a monster. He wasn't a monster, he was a man. He looked and acted like any other regular man. They walk among us, free to express their misogyny without challenge or consequence. Women can't tell who "the bad ones" are until it's too late.

Apologies for the bold fail. Two first paragraphs are not mine. The quote function wasn't working for me.

@JacquelineCarlyle

I personally think that anyone who called him rapist needs to be suspended pending investigation (& should be disciplined for gross misconduct following the investigation). Any superiors who were aware of the nickname should be dismissed.

Yes I agree.

@Leaveitonthefloordrobe

*Every time men laugh at a nickname like 'The Rapist', every time they get a 'funny' porn video in the group WhatsApp chat and don't call it out, or rape jokes, every time they dismiss misogynistic talk as 'locker room bantz', every time they go to a strip club or brothel on a stag do and 'what happens on the stag stays on the stag', every time they cover for each other....

It all adds up to a culture of seeing women as sub-human. This isn't just one evil person. Almost 3 women a week are murdered in the UK - I think something like 85 women have been murdered by men since Sarah Everard was killed. This is not an anomaly."

I totally agree with all of this. The low level, "acceptable" misogyny allows for the sexual assaults, the rapes, the physical assaults and the murders. It all feeds into the same machine.

And I'm fed up of reading that WC was a monster. He wasn't a monster, he was a man. He looked and acted like any other regular man. They walk among us, free to express their misogyny without challenge or consequence. Women can't tell who "the bad ones" are until it's too late.

And I'm fed up of reading that WC was a monster. He wasn't a monster, he was a man.

I agree with this so much. We demonise them to make it easier for us to swallow. Hitter wasn’t a monster, he was a man who loved animals and painted. A man who did despicable things but that makes it all the more awful and harder for us to accept, so we make them monsters. Nope, just humans like you and me. That is what is scary.

I’m so worried he won’t get a whole life order and investigations into the Met will come out with nothing.
What happens then?

@IfImLyingImDying

I’m so worried he won’t get a whole life order and investigations into the Met will come out with nothing. What happens then?

We protest. We don’t shut up until VAWG is taken seriously. We make the admit to institutional misogyny.