Catholic squirrels aka funny things kids say

[CatholicSquirrels]

Named changed as I've told this story in real life.

I was at mass with the DC. The priest has a regional accent that pronounces schools as scoo-ills. He was saying a prayer for Catholic education and a puzzled DD2 turns to me and asks 'what are Catholic squirrels?'

I just 😂😂

Tell me your laugh out loud 'kids say the funniest things' moments!

My daughter used to tell me she wasn’t a big van of various things over the years. We didn’t correct her because it was sooooo cute.

Oh absolutely! Don't correct them. Way too cute! DD2 calls chimneys, chimleys. So obviously that's now what we call them!

Kiddo asking for bread stick. "Don't want that bread stick!!" "What's wrong with it?!" "it might bite me"...

Post boxes and the toaster are both toast boxes

My two DC were watching a James Bond film on television years ago, and the seven year old was entranced, saying "I want to be James Bond! " His brother said " Yes, but you'd have to kiss ladies!" Seven year old looked uneasy, then said " No! No, I'd have a stuntman for that....."

Oh and aged 2.5 trying to say fox in the snow, "fuckin' snowin'"

And tangerines were wankers for a while

DD used to call sparkling water "spicy water". We found it very cute.

We came across a lot of vegans in Birmingham knowing how distressed my child would get talking to people in cow masks (he hated cows at the time) I tried to avoid them they approached anyway and asked us to watch a video I politely declined and scooted ds away as we are walking away ds asked if they were trying to recruit us are they a cult or something? He was deadly serious then he asked if they were trying to stop people eating (eating people) I said well it isn't legal to eat people he considered it for awhile (and I really hoped he had dropped it) he then came out with "I wouldn't want to eat an old person because old people are hairy" 😅 loudly

Fwiw nothing against vegans I just don't want the kids to see distressing footage they make up there own mind

katy Perry’s ‘roar’ was playing while I was washing up
My dd ‘I’ve got the arse of a tiger,your gonna hear me roooaaarrr!’

My dd-(my mother had taken them to church one Sunday) nan,am I a prostitute?
Just as the priest walked by

Ds-nanna,when you die can I have your stuff?
Nana-yes son,I guess so
Ds-hurry up then!
(I got the blame for that-I wish I’d thought of it!)

One of ours used to sing loudly TWO PURPLE GLOVES and a partridge in a pear tree...

A few years ago, I had to tell DDs that their Great Grandmother had died. My youngest, then six, asked me if it was natural or if the Doctor had done it.

Turned out one of her friends pet had had a final Vets visit the week before....

@MacavityTheDentistsCat

DD used to call sparkling water "spicy water". We found it very cute.

My DC said this too! “My drink is too spicy”

My nephew's grandmother died recently and he was asking about cremation. We thought we'd explained it in a way he could understand until he said "let's save her up until bonfire night"

Ds7's new school shoes lasted a week. Dh popped for some replacements.. Ds put them on next day. Had reinforced toes... He announced he wasn't sure how he was going to wear 'these buggars' all day!!

These are cute!!!
Ds calls triangles trinangles and nursery is currently snursery, it's utterly adorable coming from a 2 year old.

@MadMadMadamMim

One of ours used to sing loudly TWO PURPLE GLOVES and a partridge in a pear tree...

When my dd started school she came home in December singing a carol. Away in a Manger No crisp for a bed.

I interrupted dd once and she said
I'm trying to consecrate.

Son was having a windsurfing lesson and was shown what to do on a simulator first.

My (younger) daughter was telling everyone later that her brother had been on a 'stimulator' for a lesson.

Just turned three year old, cinema is cimena, gymnastics is shimnastics and spaghetti is Scetty. When told she was sleeping at Grandmas house her reply was, "you are kidding me".

Ds 6 keeps telling me he's glitching.

Ds called pain au Chocolat, chocolate pano wahs today really made me laugh

Bonfire granny 😂😂 oh that made me really laugh

DS is 3 and has just started nursery school.They’ve been introducing a bit of Welsh with a song which basically is all about asking someone’s name and then answering with “I am…”.

In Welsh it’s “MrsLeclerc ydw i”, pronounced roughly as udoow ee. So DS proudly states “DS had a wee”

When DD was about 8, she went in a school trip to London after winning an award, the best thing about it was that the sandwiches had "leprechaun herbs"
This puzzled me for a good while until I realised that by leprechaun herbs she meant 4 leaf clovers
A.k.a there was cress on the sandwiches.

These are brilliant!

@captainpillows

When DD was about 8, she went in a school trip to London after winning an award, the best thing about it was that the sandwiches had "leprechaun herbs" This puzzled me for a good while until I realised that by leprechaun herbs she meant 4 leaf clovers A.k.a there was cress on the sandwiches.

Love the leprechaun herbs! DD2 calls halloumi, Chihuahua cheese for no reason we can fathom. And falafel is phallus 🙈 I blame the menu on our holiday!

A dd, when full, used to say, ‘I’m stuffed to the highest heaven.’
We still say it decades later.