Catholic squirrels aka funny things kids say

[CatholicSquirrels]

Named changed as I've told this story in real life.

I was at mass with the DC. The priest has a regional accent that pronounces schools as scoo-ills. He was saying a prayer for Catholic education and a puzzled DD2 turns to me and asks 'what are Catholic squirrels?'

I just 😂😂

Tell me your laugh out loud 'kids say the funniest things' moments!

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

A few years ago, I had to tell DDs that their Great Grandmother had died. My youngest, then six, asked me if it was natural or if the Doctor had done it.

Turned out one of her friends pet had had a final Vets visit the week before....

😂😂

My DD has two grandfathers but only one grandmother as MIL passed away before she was born. To distinguish between them, rather than saying 'Grandad Steve' and 'Grandad Jack' as we've suggested, she says 'grandad who lives on his own' and 'grandad who lets nanna live in his house'

@Bloatstoat

My DD has two grandfathers but only one grandmother as MIL passed away before she was born. To distinguish between them, rather than saying 'Grandad Steve' and 'Grandad Jack' as we've suggested, she says 'grandad who lives on his own' and 'grandad who lets nanna live in his house'

🤣😇🤣

My dd always sings:
Baa baa black sheep, have you any more,
Yes sir, yes sir, three bags four.
She corrects me if I sing it right.
Her words probably make more sense anyway.

Youngest daughter when she was little once told me I was buffering.

Same child announced one day she was constipated and seemed confused when I started asking her about going to the loo. Apparently she thought constipated meant bored.

The best one was when she asked if her cousin would sleep over in the porridge bed. We had a ready bed. If ready break is porridge then clearly the bed was too!!!

love the grandfather who lets grandma live in his house.
very good of him.

Singing along to Christmas songs -
"Later on we'll perspire
As we sit by the fire"

@CatholicSquirrels

NO, that was - @Flufferty

How did that happen?

I have a mental image of squirrels carrying rosary beads.

Ds asks for mummy sticks. Salami sticks.

DS, getting out his marvel superhero figures 'you can be Thorn, and I'll be the incredible Hunk' 🤣

We also had "Away in a manger, no crisps in the bed"

Able was elbow, so "i wasn't elbow to do it"

My dd who was 3 at the time noticed some teddy stuffing on the ground outside of the front door. She picked a piece up and said “oh no the clouds are falling out of the sky!”

Ds4 will get stuck on certain words and phrases he's heard and repeat them on a loop. The latest is 'are you kidding me?' but his version is 'are you killing me?'. We were walking through an indoor market and a nice lady offered us some free samples of sausage to try. We all graciously accepted apart from ds who loudly screamed 'ARE YOU KILLING ME?'

@alexdgr8

love the grandfather who lets grandma live in his house. very good of him.

Very patriarchal though. I expect her name is on the deeds and she's an equal owner with every right to live there.

I know it's a lighthearted thread but we could attempt to teach the next generation not to assume that men are more important and should be in control.

My DD used to call her elbow her rainbow - 'mummy I hurt my rainbow...' 💕💕💕

My mum was walking my dd home from nursery and my dd kept saying there's Cyril, my mum thought it must be a neighbour or suchlike, it transpired that 'Cyril' was in fact Squirrel!! They will will always be cyrils to us now ! Along with cubumbumbumer for cucumber !

I once pulled a muscle quite badly on my neck and asked my 4 year old to help me up. He said: ‘no, there’s no hope for you.’

My daughter 34 months has combined baby shark with “treat” but now cries and asks for a “baby shark treat” as she wants something edible I’ve got no idea what to provide.

Recently in the shops she saw the different sizes of milk on offer and said “awwww there’s a baby milk!” Anything smaller is now a baby 😂

I have a whole set of mugs in my cupboard which have phrases on them which my kids have said when they were little. They are my favourite things.

DS2 proudly announced "Wuh is for Wino!" When he was about 3 which threw me until I remembered that he couldn't pronounce the R sound.

My children have one lovely grandma and one horrible grandma, attached to ex whom we have not seen for years. Years ago, on DS's sixth birthday, he was asking for peoples ages so he could count how many years until he was their age. Everyone cheerfully went along until she snapped nastily, "it is EXTREMELY rude to ask a lady for her age, haven't you learnt any manners in school, boy?? I'm very old! That's all you've to know. Very old."

He blinked back tears, gave me a hug, plastered a smile on his face and cheerfully said " that's ok then, I'm not going to count to you because you'll be dead soon."

@Flufferty

My nephew's grandmother died recently and he was asking about cremation. We thought we'd explained it in a way he could understand until he said "let's save her up until bonfire night"

🤣🤣

When singinging "Twinkle, twinkle little star" my dd always used to sing, "Do-er upper world so high" and yes we are constantly renovating!

My toddler said to me this is not a nice song.

What?

Half a pound of tuppenny rice, poppy is a weasel.....

Poppy is her sister!