Parents of 10year old boys . Is yours like mine?

[ClothesTraPhobia]

DS has just turned 10 (yesterday).

I’m finding his behaviour exasperating and I wondered if anyone can tell me if this is usual for 10 year old boys?

He cries over very trivial things. All of the time. As an example, he asked for some birthday cake last night and I said “of course , whilst I’m cutting it , you run up and have a shower” He didn’t want to have the cake after his shower and instead of asking nicely if he could have it first , he lay on the floor shouting “please , please , please not after “ over and over . I got a bit cross as I could not discuss it with him as he was crying and whining . This is his response to most things when either he does not want to do it or something changes.

I have to ask him over and over to do something simple as he gets very easily distracted.

He interrupts and talks over us and does not realise he’s doing it. When we point it out , he looks downhearted.

When we talk to him, he will look briefly at our eyes and then appears to stare at our noses or heads .

He is struggling to get to sleep and will wake in the early hours .

He has only two friends and in spite of attending various after school clubs , he has not made more and makes no effort to make more, he’s always the responder and not the first to talk.

He constantly says “you’re the best mum ever” , which whilst lovely, is out of context and at random times and he repeats it over and over so we’re locked in a “you’re the best mum ever…” “thank you DS” ad finitum until I don’t respond.

He counts everything from ceiling tiles to pavement blocks.

Is this usual for a child his age?

This thread is bonkers. I’m done.

I appreciate every helpful response and thank all the posters who took the time to offer constructive advice.

Sounds an awful lot like my 8yo DSS who has ADHD and is being assessed for ASD.

It truly is bonkers. Some twisted, badly informed and frankly thick posts. Bizarre. It’s not you OP it’s them. PM me if I can help. X x x

Get to know more about us. You'll understand then.

@ClothesTraPhobia

This thread is bonkers. I’m done.

I appreciate every helpful response and thank all the posters who took the time to offer constructive advice.

All the best OP, I'm sorry you've had to read some truly shitty comments on here, which have been deliberately unkind and in no way helpful. I don't think they reflect the general opinion of the intelligent posters on this thread.

Who made you the boss @DoesHePlayTheFiddle???

@DoesHePlayTheFiddle who on earth are us?

You think you speak for everyone with asd? Do you really think you are all the same. Utterly bonkers

No

My son is 8 and it's sounds very like him (he tells me I'm the best mummy and then later will meltdown over something minor). He is diagnosed with ADHD, SPD and has ASD traits (he didn't score highly enough on ADOS to get diagnosis but our SENCO believes he is autistic). If you are concerned I'd trust your gut. My son isn't able to deal with his emotions yet and suffers with significant anxiety (the world is a stressful place for him). He is still developing skills but on his own timeline and I'm trying my best not to compare him to his peers anymore.

have a shower and then we will see about getting you some cake

Definitely this.

Not just with children, in business and in life.

People feel cheated if they are granted something and only then told about the rider.

Definitely this. Not just with children, in business and in life. People feel cheated if they are granted something and only then told about the rider.

I think it's a bit of a distraction to focus too much on whether it's alright to ask him to shower before having cake. The fact of the matter is his response was an overreaction either way, and is part of a wider picture of behaviour that is very much in line with ASD symptoms.

@Embroidery

How would you feel if a controlling partner made you shower before you could eat? You'd feel especially sad about this on your birthday with your cake :'( A child reacts to sadness / control by crying. In pain as pp said.

I dont think he's ADHD etc and Ive worked in education 30 years. I think your unrealistic, somewhat cruel demands are the problem. You also don't seem to have any idea what children are like.

I have never read such a pile of utter tripe in all my life. Astounding!

OP, I'd get yourself onto the SEN board for non-bonkers support. Good luck with everything, your boy is very lucky to have you advocating for him

It sounds like Autism but that's just from the behaviours you described.

Some posters seem to have very little understanding of SEN on this thread.

ADHD is often linked with Anxiety and emotional disregulation, leading to tearful outbursts about seemingly small issues.

Some of these replies are absolutely batshit.
The vast majority of 10 year olds should be able to cope with a minor alteration to a plan. They might not be happy about it but I would be concerned about regular meltdowns over things like that past the age of about 5 or 6.
I think you know this needs further investigations OP. Good luck. I’m sure he has tonnes of wonderful traits too so focus on them and getting the help he needs

He sounds just like my dd when she was 10, she was diagnosed as on the spectrum that year.
None of my 3 sons were like this at all. What you describe sounds very much outwith the realms of normal.
I wish you all the very best OP.