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Original poster

You should cut your hair short, now that you're 40

222 replies

FanGirlX · 22/09/2021 22:52

Is this a thing?

My mother (age 75) has just informed me that I should cut my longish hair short now that I'm over 40. Or is this a generational thing, mum and her friends have all had short hair for as long as I can remember. My friends tend to wear their hair longer (even those over 40 Smile).

OP posts:
GreenWhiteViolet · 24/09/2021 23:04

I was first told at the age of 17(!) that I was too old to have long hair because it was for little girls, and I should cut it short.

Now mid-thirties with waist-length hair and I won't be going for a short cut at 40. I seriously don't care if someone thinks I look older with long hair. So what? What's wrong with that? The extreme obsession with youth that our society has isn't healthy anyway.

If you like short hair, have yours short. If you like it long, have it long. Age and other people's opinions about what you 'should' do shouldn't come into it.

Blue4YOU · 24/09/2021 23:05

I think it’s possible that bad hair colour is more aging than any cut.
I haven’t had my hair colour led since Jan 2020 and it’s got lots of strands of white (I’ll be really happy being white haired!). It suits me because it’s the colour that matches my skin tone.
I’m someone who has had pixie cuts at various points (from 21 upwards) and found that short got aging the older I become and as I’m getting the lovely mum tum etc of peri menopause (I’m 46). So it’s staying mid length (I do not suit very long hair, though I’ve had that too).

Miseryl · 24/09/2021 23:11

Bright red shoulder length hair at 42.Idgaf if the colours are ageging.

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Original poster
FanGirlX · 12/10/2021 23:21

She's still going on about it:

Mum "why don't you start going to my hairdresser, they're very good you know"

Me "because I'm very happy with my current hairdresser"

Mum " well, if you go to mine, they'll cut it off for you, you're too old for long hair now"

Me " that's exactly why I'm not going to your hairdresser 😂"

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 12/10/2021 23:26

I'm 69 with shoulder length hair, and no intention of cutting it short.

VienneseWhirligig · 13/10/2021 09:30

My mum and nan are similarly obsessed - every time I got to the salon they are hopeful I will have an age appropriate hair cut. Often say to me that a bob will be so much easier to maintain ("like the one you had in school"). I HATED that bob. I looked like a mushroom. My mum wouldn't let me have long hair at secondary school because I needed something easy to maintain - we compromised on me growing out long but perming it so it could be washed and settled quickly whilst wet.

When DH died and the hairdresser cut my hair for the funeral my mum suggested I go really short for practical purposes, and the hairdresser kept going on about it in the appointment until I told her to pack it in and just trim it! I had it cropped once and had a terrible dye disaster at the same time. I looked like a butch Swan Vesta Grin

PoppityPop · 13/10/2021 09:40

I was watching Jane Seymour on the Painting Challenge the other day and her hair is still long and looks amazing. Granted it is easier when you’re gorgeous but her hair looks great.

Maverickess · 13/10/2021 09:51

Mines shoulder length and pathetic light brown/dark blonde colour, is thin and lacklustre and I have a fat face.
I look bald and 3 stone heavier with short hair. I had it short in my 30's and hated it, I've put weight on since then and just keep it neat, shoulder length so I can tie it back for work and bollocks to anyone else to be honest.

Original poster
FanGirlX · 13/10/2021 10:12

When DH died and the hairdresser cut my hair for the funeral my mum suggested I go really short for practical purposes, and the hairdresser kept going on about it in the appointment until I told her to pack it in and just trim it! I had it cropped once and had a terrible dye disaster at the same time. I looked like a butch Swan Vesta

Hope you changed hairdresser !

OP posts:
IntermittentParps · 13/10/2021 10:13

It used to be a 'rule' but it's an old-fashioned and obviously insulting one.
I've shot myself in the foot, I think; I cut my hair short as a teenager and it's been really short since (I'm late-ish 40s now). I hate to think I look like I'm cleaving to the 'short hair over 40' thing. The reality is I just like it. Although I have always thought that when I'm maybe 60 I'll grow it long again and be a long-grey-haired witch type.

wonkylegs · 13/10/2021 10:21

My DH said he thought I'd cut my hair short and dye it when we had kids because that's what lots of his friends had done - it's still very long, and naturally blonde without a hint of grey
I'm 42 and have a teenager and another that's in yr1 and I have no plans of changing it anytime soon.

I think some people have a fixed idea of what 'other people do' which they find difficult to realise is just related to their limited experience.

LowbrowVictoriana · 13/10/2021 10:31

People should have whatever hair length they like, and different things suit different people regardless of age.

A good friend of mine is 66 and is a pretty groovy dresser with waist length, mostly grey hair. She looks great.

knackeredcat · 13/10/2021 10:56

Sod that. I'm 45, mine is past my waist and in good nick if not as abundant as it was and increasingly a bit more wavy than I would like. Apart from my usual 6-8 weekly trims with my root touch up/colour gloss I have no intention of lopping my hair off. If anything shorter hair would be even more high maintenance with the constant styling. Tied back in a loose plait throughout the week and needs next to no faffing around.

HalfpastFlea · 13/10/2021 11:11

I think people should have their hair the length they want whatever their age.

Lockdowns taught me that very long hair, esp with sprinkles of grey, is just awful and collarbone, highlighted, caramel hair is what looks best on me and it will remain that way until the day I die.

It's so important to challenge our mother's internalised ideas of how ageing women should present themselves.

Thirtyrock39 · 13/10/2021 11:21

I think for most people shoulder length hair is really flattering. Personally I think really long hair and really short hair are quite hard to pull off and both can be ageing.

FluffyBooBoo · 13/10/2021 11:27

I don't care if people think I should cut my hair short. It's just way too much work.

I really cba to go to the hairdressers every couple of months. And I can cut my long hair myself.

I'm sure some people think it's looks shit. I don't care.

MancMum2000 · 13/10/2021 11:28

I think it all depends on what suits the individual. I know two women in their sixties with very long grey hair. One looks absolutely fantastic with it and the other looks like Galdalf the Grey (sorry MIL Grin ).

FluffyBooBoo · 13/10/2021 11:35

@MancMum2000

I think it all depends on what suits the individual. I know two women in their sixties with very long grey hair. One looks absolutely fantastic with it and the other looks like Galdalf the Grey (sorry MIL Grin ).
Why does it matter if it suits them?

It's their hair, surely if they want to look like 'Gandalf the Grey', that's up to them?

Anordinarymum · 13/10/2021 11:40

@FanGirlX

Mines probably mid length, rather than long. It's just below my shoulders and it's shaped around my face. I get it cut regularly, so it's in good condition.

She really hates my ripped jeans too 😀.

I am probably the same age as your mother (guessing) and have always had long hair. I am now silver having had my first proper cut by a hairdresser since I stopped dying it and I have a shoulder length style which had brought out the colour wonderfully. I will never have short hair.

I think ripped jeans only look OK on teenagers though :)

Bathshebahardy · 13/10/2021 11:45

My DM did not like long hair at all and thought it definitely had to go before the age of 30.
A lot of women find their hair thinning as they get into their 60s and it is better to cut it shorter then.

BaronessBomburst · 13/10/2021 11:54

Long grey hair piled up into a bun looks elegant and stunning. That said my grandad's elder sister used to wear hers in plaits, even in her 90s. Grin

Original poster
FanGirlX · 13/10/2021 11:59

I think ripped jeans only look OK on teenagers though :)

I like to think I still have a few rock chick tendencies Smile

OP posts:
GrrrlPwr · 13/10/2021 12:06

Is the short hair thing not because pre GHD days & have kids to look after, probably a job & house too. Women just didn't have time to spend on 'doing' their hair, so went for an 'easy cut'.

I actually can't stand really long hair on anyone, young or old. If your hair hits your elbows it's too long!

MancMum2000 · 13/10/2021 12:33

It's their hair, surely if they want to look like 'Gandalf the Grey', that's up to them?

🙄 Pretty sure she’s not aiming to look like Gandalf. Obviously it doesn’t matter and people can do what they want with their hair, and it doesn’t have to suit them. But I think most people aim to feel attractive with the hairstyle they choose.

GrrrlPwr · 13/10/2021 14:08

Re hair thinning post menopause- surely with the new hair extensions, fixed and clip in, this is something that might be less of an issue these days?

Maryan Keyes says she has extensions and I would never have known