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Original poster

You should cut your hair short, now that you're 40

222 replies

FanGirlX · 22/09/2021 22:52

Is this a thing?

My mother (age 75) has just informed me that I should cut my longish hair short now that I'm over 40. Or is this a generational thing, mum and her friends have all had short hair for as long as I can remember. My friends tend to wear their hair longer (even those over 40 Smile).

OP posts:
Phyllis321 · 23/09/2021 07:43

It might be because post menopause hair sometimes thins and gets drier. Mine is changing texture for sure but I still wear it well below my shoulders and still get compliments.
Have the hair you want.

user89000005 · 23/09/2021 07:46

I think it depends on condition. I've always struggled to grow my hair beyond my shoulders before the split thin ends ruin the style, I suspect I will need to Bob it up as I get older but will go by condition not an arbitrary number.

Oblomov21 · 23/09/2021 07:46

Most elderly women I see, say over 60, over 70, have short hair. On most it's not flattering. I wonder why few have say a shoulder length bob. Some women suit short hair. Generally you have to be very beautiful, with lovely neat features, small nose, nice eyes, non prominent chin, to carry off a pixie cut. Most of us aren't that beautiful! Most women I know have features that need softening, which a good haircut can do.

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Beauty
diddl · 23/09/2021 07:47

Perhaps there is a point when it becomes unflattering-but so what?

I have shoulder length hair, a few greys-well I am a couple of years off 60.

I probably could get a more flattering hair cut.

But I just wash my hair & leave it to dry & I love being able to do that.

I don't want a cut that needs a avisit to the haidresser every 6wks or is a fuss to style after washing.

So laziness on my part!

RandomMess · 23/09/2021 07:48

@Sparklfairy don't do for that reason!!

Why does it make you feel like an imposter? Your you. At 33 you're not some old sexually past it woman?

You may be tired and struggling with where you are in your life now but chopping off your hair won't change that. You seem like you don't want to cut it off?

sashh · 23/09/2021 07:48

@Sparklfairy

At the age of 33 I've just booked myself in to cut my waist length hair on Saturday, and a big part of this is because I feel like an imposter clinging onto trying to look younger than I am Sad
Can I request you donate it? Sorry to hijack.

I donate my hair to the little princess trust, so every 2 years I have short hair which I then grow for 2 years.

I'm going to be 55 soon.

TolkiensFallow · 23/09/2021 07:49

Oh my mum says this “as you get older, your hair should get shorter” … sod it! Do what suits!

BlameItOnTheBlackStar · 23/09/2021 07:52

@Gettingthereslowly2020

I think it was a thing back in the 90s. I remember most women cut their hair short when they were 30-40. I don't know why because it made most of them look bloody awful, especially with the harsh perms and hairstyles of the time
I think that's a slightly separate thing, and that pixie cuts were really fashionable in the 90s.

I'm in my 40s and cannot imagine chopping my hair off for some arbitrary reason.

It's definitely generational: when my gran was my age she looked about 70, with her Brillo pad grey perm, raincoat and rain mate tied under her chin. Madness!

ErrolTheDragon · 23/09/2021 07:53

@FanGirlX

Mines probably mid length, rather than long. It's just below my shoulders and it's shaped around my face. I get it cut regularly, so it's in good condition.

She really hates my ripped jeans too 😀.

Sounds like mine, except mine stays in good condition without frequent cuts. Natural blonde so no need to dye or highlight, that helps.

I'm 60....

HildegardeCrowe · 23/09/2021 07:56

It’s bollocks that women should have short hair when they’re older. I’m 64 and my hair has never looked better and I get loads of compliments. It’s compkrr

HildegardeCrowe · 23/09/2021 07:58

Sorry it’s completely grey (a really nice shade) and in a thick wavy chin-length bob which I’d like to grow a couple more inches. I had it short for a long time but grew it out and feel it suits me so much better and makes me look younger.

LouLou789 · 23/09/2021 07:59

I’m 61 and have short hair in a very sharp cut. My sister is 57 and has very long hair. Both our styles suit us, nothing to do with age. Her hair takes more looking after because of its length but that’s her choice. How strange that we are supposed to be pigeon-holed.

ErrolTheDragon · 23/09/2021 08:03

When I was about 30 I thought I 'ought' to get mine cut like a proper grownup. The hairdresser refused, said I'd regret it. He was right.

Short hair wouldn't have suited me better then, and I don't think it would now. It would make me more invisible, I suppose.... well, I don't agree with that being something that should happen to 'older women'.

thebookworm1 · 23/09/2021 08:06

It is a generational thing and my mum is the same.
I hate the look of pixie cuts and short cuts regardless of age though so mine is staying long.

Onthegrid · 23/09/2021 08:07

I’m early 50s and my DM is late 70s, In my 30s-40s I had a really short style and got bored, plus I had some scalp issues. I grew the style out and now I keep my hair shoulder length. It was longer during lockdown but is really thick and takes ages to dry and style, even when it was trimmed and coloured it didn’t look great so I went back to the length that works for me.

My mum had a neat long bob in the 1960s which she changed in the 80s to a permed over blowdried style, fortunately fashion moved on and she was then able to go back to her straight bobbed style. None of her friends have old lady perms, some have shorter styles and some have longer styles. Her mother had the fixed permed style of an old lady in the 80s when she wouLd have been in her 60s, then her hairdresser friend stopped working and she too went back to a straight bob.

My other grandmother always had old lady weekly set hair, it’s all I can remember and she would have only been in her 50s when I was a child.

DancesWithTortoises · 23/09/2021 08:12

I had my very long hair cut to shoulder length when I was 22. A lot of people my age did - almost a right of passage.

Long hair can be very ageing on some people.

ChimChimeny · 23/09/2021 08:18

Whoops, I must have missed this memo Grin I'm 40 and my hair is at least 3 or 4 inches below my shoulders. It was shorter but I decided to grow it last year when I couldn't get it cut for months.

Neveratruerfriend · 23/09/2021 08:18

I don't think most women suit short hair, especially the much-vaunted pixie cut. And it takes a lot more maintenance too, to keep it in style.

I have long hair, regularly cut and highlighted and kept in good condition. If the condition deteriorates then it may be time to shorten it - I agree that long hair in bad condition does not look good on older or younger women.

IrishGirl2020 · 23/09/2021 08:21

I think the idea that older women should cut their hair when they get to a certain age might be a historical remnant. It used to be the case that everyone had long hair but only younger unmarried women could wear their hair loose and older women always wore it up in a bun or similar sort of style. Wearing long grey hair loose meant you were a bit of a loose cannon maybe even a witch.

The pixie cut is a sort of modern version of the updo in that the hair is no longer loose down your back. However long hair worn in a flattering updo is a lot softer than a short pixie cut and still looks very feminine. I do agree that if you don’t have a naturally feminine face with small, neat features, a short hair cut can look quite masculine. Fine if that’s the look you’re aiming for of course!

But I do feel sad that a lot of older women succumb to the short haircut and dull coloured sensible clothing in a ‘don’t look at me’ sort of way not because they want to but because they feel that’s what society expects.

FrancescaContini · 23/09/2021 08:23

@PersonaNonGarter

Nooooo. This is part of the Over the Hill misogyny narrative. Ignore.
Agree. I love having long hair. Enjoy what you have.
Fizbosshoes · 23/09/2021 08:27

My parents encouraged me to have short hair at primary school. I cant remember if I had any choice in the matter but it looked fucking horrific pretty awful for several years and I immediately wanted it long again. I had a bob once but since my teens my hair has always been shoulder length or longer and I have no plans to cut it short. Short hair requires way more maintenance than long as well.

gogohm · 23/09/2021 08:28

Generational, my mum says it to me, she also thinks black eyeliner and dark navy nails are inappropriate for a lady of my age and situation ... tough!

Sparklfairy · 23/09/2021 08:31

@RandomMess i just feel a bit ridiculous now. I accidentally opened my phone camera and caught sight of myself the other day and I look like my passport photo from when I was 15 Grin I do love it in a long thick sleek ponytail and I will miss that, but its time for a change and thinning it out i think. It'll grow back Smile

@sashh I hadn't heard of the Princess Trust so just had a look, seems straightforward so I'll get the hairdresser to do the ponytail thing! Smile

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 23/09/2021 08:34

I once went to a conference which was 99% women between ages 40-60 odd and I was the only one with longer hair, and mine is only even just above bra strap height! I kept looking around thinking this couldn't be the case, but nope, the uniform was bobs and short hair. Everyone looked nice, but very much the same and very much of their age! This was just over a decade ago though and I've noticed more women leaving their hair a bit longer, or having long layered bobs or all kinds in between now, which I think can look pretty. I could neither rock a pixie when I was 20 nor now!

I don't really care what others think of my hair, what I like about my hair is how it makes me feel, it's a bit swishy and I feel attractive and happy with it, so I'm going with that. I still wear heels occasionally, though, for the same reason so perhaps I'm so completely out of fashion I'm embarrassing! I do believe though that if you are smily and positive and have nice clean hair and clothes, and look like you enjoy life, then you will be attractive whatever your age and so I go with that. I don't think wearing flat shoes because heels are unfashionable and cutting my hair in a pixie because long hair is not for older women will make me look younger whatsoever! It doesn't work like that!

GreatPotato · 23/09/2021 08:48

I've cut my hair short now I'm older, not particularly because I look better , but because I can "do" so much more with my life. I can't stand it when women restrict their activities because e.g. a bit of dampness will make their hair frizzy or they washed it yesterday so won't run/swim today because it takes so long to wash and dry if they need to do it again.

It's not about not liking how long hair looks for me, it's about finally realising there are so many more important things than how my hair looks.

As it happens my hair does look better short though, long it was always a bit limp and flyaway.