You should cut your hair short, now that you're 40

[FanGirlX]

Is this a thing?

My mother (age 75) has just informed me that I should cut my longish hair short now that I'm over 40. Or is this a generational thing, mum and her friends have all had short hair for as long as I can remember. My friends tend to wear their hair longer (even those over 40 ).

I can cope with the short hair but it was the perm you sort of automatically acquired at the same time that I think made women go from young to old overnight.

The only things about properly long hair is the grey thing. Some people have amazing long grey hair but that is pure luck - depending on the person’s colouring and also how the grey comes in. I don’t think long, dyed hair is flattering with a big badger stripe down the roots.

I’m trying to go grey naturally because I’ve always hated having my hair coloured. I’m trying to figure out the best length and style to go with that and it’s very much a work in progress.

@gofg

I do think long hair on some older women can be unflattering but there are no rules.

I agree - it's more about knowing what suits you and what looks good whatever age you are. Long hair can really drag down some people's faces - but if they like it that's all that matters.

Very few women can pull off a pixie cut in my opinion. I think most look better with a bit of length.

I disagree with that. I've never seen any woman who didn't look great with a pixie.

I look like Ron Weasley!

I am 42, longish hair and was recently asked for ID to buy wine in a supermarket by a woman that looked younger than me .

The Danish man again early 30s checking my passport was in disbelief that I was the mother of my 12 year old boy, he thought I was the older sister. Admittedly this was when I was 40 as a couple of years ago but still, I had longish hair then. I really do think a short but would age me. I would argue that make up is aging and that perhaps you need less in your 40s. I only wear mascara but if I don't wear it, I definitely look younger.

At Copenhagen airport that should say.

I'm 55 and I have waist length grey hair. It's thick, wavy and in the best condition it's ever been.
I can look at old photos of me with short hair and I can see it didn't suit me; long hair makes me happy.

Also, I was in a shop the other day when a lady actually said "wow I love your hair!" 😁 Thank you random lady, you made my day!

Jennifer Anniston is over 50 and has beautiful long hair

I can't be bothered with keeping my hair short; my mother has long been encouraging me to have a short cut but that is more because one I tried in my mid teens suited me so well. But I'd need to get it cut regularly for that to work.

I actually recently had what I consider a short cut (first cut in a few years, oops, probably had about 18 inches off near enough). Sounds like I ended up rather similar to where yours @FanGirlX usually is, near the shoulder till it grows again.

Anyway, my 18 yr old has had her hair in what may be a pixie cut or similar, for the last few years so I'd hate to look like I was copying her ....

You got off lightly OP.

My mother ordered me to have a “good cut and perm” prior to my wedding in the early 70’s as “you’ll be a married woman”.

I was 21.

Maybe these ageist comments that OP and others mention are just literally out of date now. Really think personal freedom has ramped up and stereotypical repressions are all being examined and rejected.

I was 37 when I had my DC. My mum asked me when I'd be getting my hair cut short. In her generation it seemed to be when you had kids you had to have short hair. No time for long hair and children.

No way though my mother thinks the same.

Shoulder length or similar is totally fine. I am not a fan of very long badly kempt hair on older ladies though. That is very ageing. If it’s well cut and looked after though, great.

@Greatdomestic

I was 37 when I had my DC. My mum asked me when I'd be getting my hair cut short. In her generation it seemed to be when you had kids you had to have short hair. No time for long hair and children.

The thing is my hair is much easier to look after long, on days I can’t be bothered a ponytail is dead easy! I hated my hair short as I had to spend ages fixing it in the mirror every day. Also had to get it cut much more often. So that’s just not true!

My mum tried this with me - talked about me going shorter at 30.

That didn't happen but the comments started again as I approached 40.
I'm now past 50 and, like PPs, my hair grew a lot in lockdown and is probably now the longest it's ever been - well past bra strap. I spend a fair bit of time and money on it so it's also in lovely condition and definitely one of my best features. Too old or not, it won't be coming off for the foreseeable.

I'm 37 and a mother and I have a mohican with the sides shaved to a no. 1 and the mohican bit is waist length blue dreads. Christ knows what people think about it but I don't give a tiny shit.

All these ridiculous rules for women when they get to a "certain age" (whatever the fuck that means anyway) just piss me right off.

I think we should all stop policing what women look like at any age, its just gross.

I’ll get flames but I’ve yet to see any woman of any age that looks better with short hair.

Christ are we all supposed to have the Home Counties blonde chin length bob with a fringe until we get to 69 and then go for the blue rinse and cauliflower perm? Interspersed with the severe short cut and no colour whatsoever of course.

Rubbish.

@PersonaNonGarter

Nooooo. This is part of the Over the Hill misogyny narrative. Ignore.

Absolutely. My mother (78) is a fervent adherent of this narrative and only has to see Mary Beard on TV to start muttering about ‘unflattering’ and ‘does nothing for her’ and ‘hair down her back like a young girl’. I think she would like to see her forcibly taken to a hairdresser and given an ‘age-appropriate’ haircut, and transformed into something more Mary Berry (‘lady-like’). And yes, we’ve had this conversation for decades. It’s like banging your head against the wall.

Why does women's hair need to be 'flattering?

@PurplePlain

Why does women's hair need to be 'flattering?

Indeed.

@Goldenbear

At Copenhagen airport that should say.

I've been through that airport and would have happily submitted to a search. Their uniforms are hot

@PurplePlain

Why does women's hair need to be 'flattering?

So excellent!

Mum was the same -always short hair and the cauliflower perm for special occasions. She never let us grow our hair so we all had bowl cuts, funnily enough each of us now have long hair as adults. SIL's mother would never let them cut theirs in childhood so she and not a single sister have had hair longer than their shoulders as adults.

I got lucky in the genetic lottery and have a very unusual hair colour, Hairdressers always comment on it and tell me women would pay a fortune for that impossible colour job. So I never dyed or permed it and just kept it long where it was at it's best.

Now at 46 I wear it at armpit length with layers around the face, and get an annual haircut when it's getting heavy. I get a few highlights now to blend in the bit of grey/white. I think I'll ultimately go pure white like the aunt I most resemble and in my head I've the notion that with a blank canvas, I'm going to to go mad with rainbow colours. I rather like the idea of being in my 80's with rainbow hair :D

Now at 46 I wear it at armpit length with layers around the face, and get an annual haircut when it's getting heavy. I get a few highlights now to blend in the bit of grey/white. I think I'll ultimately go pure white like the aunt I most resemble and in my head I've the notion that with a blank canvas, I'm going to to go mad with rainbow colours. I rather like the idea of being in my 80's with rainbow hair :D

That's my kind of plan. In my 40s and I like my plaits and pigtails still. It's practical for different sports and low maintainence.

Condition matters most. Very endy hair with inches of tails does no one any favours and any people have a natural limit on how long they can maintain their hair be it waist or shoulders or whatever. Good condition hair looks good regardless of age.

I'm hoping the trend for embracing grey is here to stay. I'm hoping that over time, I'll be able to blend them in with my natural tones rather than dye and hide completely. The most aging thing with hair is continuing to block dye a heavy colour as complexion changes giving an unnatural effect especially if there's a large amount of root betraying it.

So a practical point

1. I think all people should have the hair that makes them feel - it looks like me - & that I do think

2. On another point I think healthier hair looks better - if people don't care - that is their choice but a friend of mine ( 50s) has hair down to her bottom and such split ends - she could have 4 or 5 inches cut off and still really long hair, split ends only go one way .

3. I am going to have another inch or so cut off - I will not have short hair but I want to get rid of all the dye and then decide. The ends are going a bit haystack and crunchy,

So - those are my ( probably ) rubbish points.

@romdowa

I've always found this quite odd as both my great grandmothers had extremely long hair. Both my parents talk about it. So I'd love to know when it became a thing for women of a certain age to cut their hair short. I'm mid 30s and have short hair just because I hate my hair being long

I think it's a 20th century "modern" thing, pre-1920s women were mostly housebound and had very long hair, then in the 20s, 30s, 40s 50s it was all short, pretty much. Flappers, Hollywood starlets, the War etc all made short hair more desirable I guess? A break away from previous old-fashioned centuries. Women taking over men's jobs in the war etc. From 60s onwards it seems long hair was back, maybe it was a rebellion thing, hippies etc, then became the norm.

I'm just glad we have a choice these days. Stuff anyone who tells us what to do with our own hair at whatever age! I'll be keeping mine long till I'm 90 - if I still have any!