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Original poster

When someone turns up at your house...

102 replies

PurpleSapphire · 20/09/2021 06:04

I don't like it. Even friends, I like to know a day and time they're visiting. I'm the kind of person who changes into pj's/slobbing around stuff as soon as i'm in the door, bra off, messy hair tied up out of the way. I've never been confident about how I look and I just find it really intrusive. It's my home and I should be able to relax any way I want, not be on constant alert in case someone turns up. Am I just really antisocial and strange? Grin

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 20/09/2021 06:06

On MN you're completely normal. Just don't open the door is the usual advice.

ImFree2doasiwant · 20/09/2021 06:08

This is an age old mumsnet topic. I'm with you OP but then I'm not good at spontaneity in anyway.

My mum is completely different and would welcome anyone at any time and happily.

Original poster
PurpleSapphire · 20/09/2021 06:12

I wouldn't put a full face of slap on dont get me wrong but, i'd at least look presentable and put the puppies in some sort of order. I blame lockdown for this braless thing, I really do.

OP posts:
SpringRainbow · 20/09/2021 06:14

I don’t like people in my home, I like to relax.

I really don’t like hosting or going to other peoples homes. Much rather meet people out in public.

Cazzovuoi · 20/09/2021 06:14

As an introvert I hate unannounced visitors because even when it’s my most treasured friends or family visiting, I still need time to prepare myself.

RampantIvy · 20/09/2021 06:20

This crops up a lot on MN. Most mumsnetters don't like unexpected visitors. I don't mind them, not that we get many anyway.

Why not buy some comfortable bras for wearing at home if it bothers you?

Bluntness100 · 20/09/2021 06:30

This has been done to death on here.

RampantIvy · 20/09/2021 06:37

Yep Grin

Sparklingbrook · 20/09/2021 06:38

I'm never quite sure how to reply to these threads. If they are friends and they've come to see you then that's nice isn't it? Real friends don't care about your appearance anyway or care about what bra you are wearing. Confused
Thy could text or phone to ask first I guess, but I don't understand the need to be on 'constant alert'.

Bu this is MN and nobody ever answers the door anyway. Only to people that have had an appointment arranged a month ahead and even then begrudgingly.

WeAreTheHeroes · 20/09/2021 06:42

Extra begrudgingly if it's the in laws.

Steeple · 20/09/2021 06:43

To be honest, I don’t get the Mn thing of ripping off your bra the second you get in the door, as if it were an instrument of torture, and think if it’s really that uncomfortable, you should get a professional fitting. A bra that fits you shouldn’t be uncomfortable.

ReeseWitherfork · 20/09/2021 06:46

I'm an introvert, but a pretty social one, so unexpected visitors works well for me. I hate anticipating visitors. But actually having them is fine. Which is lucky, seeing as most of my friends and family appear to be "just show up" people. But they also wouldn't care what state of dress I was in etc.

custardbear · 20/09/2021 06:47

Yes, I need time to clear the decks a little before people come, and tidy myself up too! It's too stressful thinking at any time someone may knock and need to come visit - no thanks!

Beautiful3 · 20/09/2021 06:49

I hate it too because I always take off my bra upon arrival at home. Even an hours notice is preferable to an unannounced visit!

Sparklingbrook · 20/09/2021 06:51

I think you should all get some new bras. If you have to tear it off at the front door you need to get measured up properly.

sandgrown · 20/09/2021 06:54

I like visitors if the place is fairly tidy. I change into casual clothes but never nightwear until bedtime because I take the dog out quite late. I don't understand the obsession with wearing pyjamas all the time. Real friends/family wouldn’t care anyway .

psbradio2 · 20/09/2021 06:55

@Sparklingbrook there is no greater feeling then taking a bra off at the end of the day.

I'm not an introvert but I hate hosting people in my home. I like to shut the door and be done for the day.

Sparklingbrook · 20/09/2021 06:58

@Sparklingbrook there is no greater feeling then taking a bra off at the end of the day

Really? I quite like getting changed out of my work clothes or taking heels off but not fussed about removing my underwear, until bedtime.

PoorCatto · 20/09/2021 06:58

I don't let people in without prior warning. I think it's rude to turn up unannounced unless it's an emergency. I once turned away my own father who arrived on my door step 8.30 on a Saturday morning on his midlife-crisis-cycle. I'd just done 12 days of 12 hours on, 12 hours off shifts. I sent him to the pub at the bottom of the street for breakfast and told him I'd meet him there in an hour. He told me I was something horrible and rode home instead.

AFuturisticalSound · 20/09/2021 06:59

You must be new to MN, not answering Theodore or having months of advanced notice of visits is entirely normal I don't know how you could think it's unusual

In the real world ime some like some don't but don't seem to have quite such strong feelings Grin

Sparklingbrook · 20/09/2021 07:00

@PoorCatto

I don't let people in without prior warning. I think it's rude to turn up unannounced unless it's an emergency. I once turned away my own father who arrived on my door step 8.30 on a Saturday morning on his midlife-crisis-cycle. I'd just done 12 days of 12 hours on, 12 hours off shifts. I sent him to the pub at the bottom of the street for breakfast and told him I'd meet him there in an hour. He told me I was something horrible and rode home instead.
TBF it doesn't sound as if you would have let him in even if he'd made an appointment what with him being a cyclist and everything.... What were you going to do for the hour before you met him?
Shopgirl1 · 20/09/2021 07:04

I wonder are a lot of you wearing the wrong bra size, I don’t have this issue with discomfort at all, don’t even notice it.

MrsDThomas · 20/09/2021 07:05

Living rurally, this is a great perk. No one pops over. My best friend lives down the road and she will walk in. Dad visits and that is all. No snotty kids at Halloween, no cold callers.

Steeple · 20/09/2021 07:08

@AFuturisticalSound

You must be new to MN, not answering Theodore or having months of advanced notice of visits is entirely normal I don't know how you could think it's unusual

In the real world ime some like some don't but don't seem to have quite such strong feelings Grin

Yes, always answer the door to Theodore, or he gets really sad! 😀
theseoldbone · 20/09/2021 07:16

It must be a whole other mindset that people are in when they don't mind this. When I'm gone alone I nap, bathe, cook, eat, clean... all without make up, no bra, more often than not I'll just be in a pair of knickers.

People who don't mind people dropping in must be permanently showered, dressed and alert. Do they never have a bath midday or a nap in their pants?

I find it baffling that people are out there padding round their houses ready for guests at all times.

The only time I'm guest-ready is if I'm working from home with teams on (because then my colleagues can see m, so I'm presentable) but in that instance I wouldn't be able to receive guests anyway as I'd be working.

Whole thing is so odd. We have phones, why not use them?