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Original poster

Shamed at the Duck pond.

337 replies

GiveMeAUserName123 · 19/09/2021 13:02

Took my kids to the duck pond today as we accidentally let close to a whole loaf of bread go mouldy. Instead of waste it I thought we could give it to the ducks…..well!

Got there and there was a mum, who if you was to judge on the spot came across as one of those perfect, kind, loving hippy mums with polite kids, she was handing her children what could only be described as real duck feed, they were pellet like and brown.

Also there across the pond was a dad with his young kid, about 4, throwing in peas from a brown kfraft box that has obviously been recycled.

Then us, I’m married, but if you was to judge there and then, a single mum, standing there with her two kids throwing bread into the pond out of the plastic wrapper, with (very slight) mould. Completely inorganic and clearly not saving the world.

The young 4 year old said “ducks don’t eat bread” to his dad who was in ear shot of us, he replied that they do sometimes eat bread as he was obviously being polite to us.

Since when did parents become so perfect?

Just felt like a huge fail as we crossed back over the bridge to read a sign that said “bread kills ducks.”

(My kids didn’t notice the sign thank god!)

🤦🏼‍♀️ Fail

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
FleasInMyKnees · 19/09/2021 13:12

Why would you feed mouldy bread to the ducks, it goes in the food bin.

Marmite27 · 19/09/2021 13:12

I thought it was quite well known not to give ducks bread. It knackers up the pond bio-whatsit.

We bought a big tub of floating stuff in lockdown one after I couldn’t take another tantrum over the stuff we had sinking.

dworky · 19/09/2021 13:12

@Geamhradh

You sound far more judgemental of the other parents tbh.
The irony!
Original poster
GiveMeAUserName123 · 19/09/2021 13:12

Think a lot of you clearly missed the point of the post!

Everyone there was the only adult, so they could of all been single or married- that’s not the point!!
They was not judging me. The post clearly indicates how they were a step up at the duck pond whilst I was there with a plastic bag and mouldy bread.

OP posts:
GoingOutOutNEVER · 19/09/2021 13:13

You fail on other levels too how rude of you to judge others with you inaccurate ideas on single parents, you naturally assume they have no idea of how to help save the planet and wouldn’t know organic if it was thrown at them albeit from a safe distance. Duck feed is cheap but naturally single parents wouldn’t think to buy it.

CyclingIsNotOuting · 19/09/2021 13:13

Still trying to work out who ‘shamed’ you?

WallaceinAnderland · 19/09/2021 13:13

We have signs at our local park asking not to feed bread as the ducks fill up on it then don't eat their natural food which contains all the nourishment they need. People may have been judging you for feeding them mouldy bread but they certainly wouldn't have even known your marital status, let alone judged a single woman for taking her kids to the park. Why would they?

EdgeOfTheSky · 19/09/2021 13:14

Could have been worse OP, at least you weren’t shooting then like people at my Mum’ village pond.

You’ll know next time.

If you have a lettuce salad, shred the outside leaves and take them instead of throwing them away.

Ughmaybenot · 19/09/2021 13:14

So you’re judging yourself? What a stupid post 😂

DevilFinger · 19/09/2021 13:15

Our ducks have small amounts and f head along with proper food and veg - like humans it's basically sugary crap and shouldn't be eaten all the time

I would never feed anything mouldy AngryAngry

Mouldy bread fed to ducks could contain a fungus called Aspergillus spp. which can infect ducks and cause severe upper respiratory issues. This fungus can even cause death in ducks.

lobsteroll · 19/09/2021 13:15

I think your attempt at being funny here is a bit misguided. No one actually judged you, the dad was actually really nice encouraging his son to be polite.

Just because people want to feed ducks proper food, does that make them a "perfect parent"?

The only person judging here is you, you're even judging "single parents" for some bizarre reason. From your description both of the other adults in your story are alone too yet you single yourself out as "looking like a single parent".

The whole thing is quote strange really.

Hattie765 · 19/09/2021 13:15

I'm not usually a judgemental person tbh, especially about single mothers but I'd have judged you badly for this and it has nothing to do with being a single mother or being perfect. Bread can kill ducks, if you are not aware of the care needs of certain animals you should stay away from them, being abusive and cruel is not ok when you could have done a quick Google search for this information.

DevilFinger · 19/09/2021 13:16
  • of bread
KateTheShrew · 19/09/2021 13:16

When I read the title I assumed an adult had told you off for feeding the ducks bread, but that didn't happen. Nobody shamed you unless you count the 4 yr old who was just repeating what's obviously been said to him, as four year olds do, but certainly didn't mean to 'shame' you.

Your single parent comment is just weird. As far as I can see, you saw a mum with kids and a dad with a kid. Either one of those could have been a single parent - you have no idea!

As far as I'm aware bread's not good for ducks if that's all they eat, but a bit now and again isn't the end of the world.

LemonMuffins · 19/09/2021 13:16

Why would you feed ducks mouldy bread? Stale fine, but mouldy? Sad

ISpyCobraKai · 19/09/2021 13:17

I'm a single Mother on benefits and I have a tub of duck food in my car, get meGrin

FleasInMyKnees · 19/09/2021 13:17

Who shamed you, a 4 year old? Do you mean you felt ashamed because you were feeding the ducks mouldy bread and the others were feeding them the correct type of food.

Saucery · 19/09/2021 13:17

Our local pond was taken over by that sort of parent during lockdown last year. Laminated signs sprang up, DO NOT FEED BREAD TO THE DUCKS!. As the same parents set up little Fairy Trails with plastic tat and bloody glitter all over the nature reserve I carried on with my mixture of homemade wholemeal, peas, bird seed and oats. They’ve fucked off now, thank goodness.
It was amusing to stand at the opposite side of the pond with some bread and watch the ducks desert the toddler with the wholesome seed Grin Disclaimer: this was a happy accident, I didn’t do it deliberately. But the ducks know what they prefer so……

mutedrainbows · 19/09/2021 13:17

"Since when did parents become so perfect" sounds so snotty and bitter actually - they weren't doing anything to you so why are you being nasty to them?

Also no, I wouldn't feed mouldy bread to any animal. It'll probably coagulate around the side of the lake and turn into unsightly mush.

And what's wrong with being a single mother?

TakeYourFinalPosition · 19/09/2021 13:18

whilst I was there with a plastic bag and mouldy bread.

You can’t have thought mouldy bread was a good idea to feed to anything?

But you’re judging everyone, and that’s why you’re concerned that they have judged you, or that they were a “step above”. You’ve presumed that because you judge people, everyone else has judged you too.

It’s massively unlikely that anyone else at the duck pond was there to judge people that could be single mothers for taking their kids to the park and feeding the ducks bread.

LukeEvansWife · 19/09/2021 13:18

Mouldy bread can kill them. If nothing else, hopefully you have learnt from that

Doggiedementia · 19/09/2021 13:19

Mouldy bread isn’t good for ducks.

Why are you so judgemental of single parents?

Megistotherium · 19/09/2021 13:19

I'm quite surprised you feed the duck with mouldy bread. Are they not toxic?

FriedasCarLoad · 19/09/2021 13:20

I was one of other people, last week, if you see what I mean.

Married mother of two, happy baby wrapped on my back, happy toddler skipping alongside me, little tupperware pot of oats for the ducks, daughter identifying different breeds/sex of ducks, as well as various berries for foraging. I probably looked smug and judgemental.

The reality is that I'd been battling suicidal thoughts all week, that I felt like the worst mother and wife in the world, and that all my judgement was directed at myself.

I bet I looked really together, but I'd been seriously considering leaving my children motherless and making my husband a widower. Without meaning to sound like a competitive parent, I'm pretty sure I failed harder than you did Wink.

Singleparentstruggles · 19/09/2021 13:20

@sittingonacornflake

As a single mother myself, I bristled at the way you worded that.

It's a shame you think you looked worse because you looked like a single mother. I'm not sure what's so terrible about being one to be honest. Other than reading things like this Sad

My thoughts exactly. I'm not a single mother, I'm a lone parent. I take offence to how you worded your post. It's hugely judgement. I'm a lone parent, I work, I'm studying for a degree, my house is spotless, my child is thriving. I don't "look" like a single parent. I'm glad they shamed you. Most people are fully aware you shouldn't feed ducks bread.