Shamed at the Duck pond.

[GiveMeAUserName123]

Took my kids to the duck pond today as we accidentally let close to a whole loaf of bread go mouldy. Instead of waste it I thought we could give it to the ducks…..well!

Got there and there was a mum, who if you was to judge on the spot came across as one of those perfect, kind, loving hippy mums with polite kids, she was handing her children what could only be described as real duck feed, they were pellet like and brown.

Also there across the pond was a dad with his young kid, about 4, throwing in peas from a brown kfraft box that has obviously been recycled.

Then us, I’m married, but if you was to judge there and then, a single mum, standing there with her two kids throwing bread into the pond out of the plastic wrapper, with (very slight) mould. Completely inorganic and clearly not saving the world.

The young 4 year old said “ducks don’t eat bread” to his dad who was in ear shot of us, he replied that they do sometimes eat bread as he was obviously being polite to us.

Since when did parents become so perfect?

Just felt like a huge fail as we crossed back over the bridge to read a sign that said “bread kills ducks.”

(My kids didn’t notice the sign thank god!)

🤦🏼‍♀️ Fail

@Mysterian

Mamaaa, I just killed a duck I threw it some old bread It ate it now it's dead. Mamaaa, if I had thrown some peas It's could have eaten them and have flown away Mama, ooooooooooh, Didn't mean to make it die, If it's not back in this park tomorrow, On the pond, on the pond, it'll send me totally quackers...

I see the little silhouetto of a duck
Daffy, Donald, Scrooge McDuck, will you do the flamingo!
etc

This is brilliant!

Ah of course. Along with the husband-stealing potential, being workshy scroungers and responsible for the breakdown of society, us single mums are now also notorious for feeding ducks mouldy bread out of plastic wrappers.

FWIW, OP, you might be married, but at least I don’t take my kid to slaughter ducks with a surfeit of mouldy processed white bread of a weekend.*

*I don’t actually think ducks have ever died from bread, and I’m being hyperbolic for effect, but my wider point still stands. I’m a single parent and I’m really offended by your post. It sounds like you’re the one with the judgement.

You get fined if you feed bread to the ducks or nuts to the squirrels at our park.

Why do you say ‘was’ in place of the word ‘were’

I’ve never understood why people do this.
It makes you sound like an idiot.

Why the heck would you feed wild animals something mouldy and going rotten? Not okay

Giving animals mouldy bread isn’t ok. It’s nothing to do with being a single parent or a married one but it’s do with caring about animals. It doesn’t take a minute to search google to find out if Duck’s can eat bread. My local water park is full of signs and still idiots feed them bread. It kills them.

There’s signs up round near me saying that because nobody feeds the ducks bread anymore they’re starving and that that bread is better than nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️

This has got to be a wind-up! Why the hell have you dragged single mums into this? 🤷🏻‍♀️ On MN of all places 😯 Do single mums only feed ducks mouldy old bread?! So sorry, I was too busy yelling at my kids and feeding them beans on (white-sliced) toast, didn’t get the memo. Will dispose of that bag of duck food I have pronto. What about single dads? Does this include them too? That’s some heavy old judgement there OP.

Don’t worry MN will still be here for you when your DH has had enough oh your incredibly cruel and unfair, narrow-minded, judgements and run off with the OW.

Ah but do you look like a single mother? Perhaps they are judging you

It's possible. I really need a control 2 parent family to chuck frozen veg at ducks...

@MaybeAMoaner

Why do you say ‘was’ in place of the word ‘were’

I’ve never understood why people do this.
It makes you sound like an idiot.

Also 'of' instead of 'have'. I suppose people write how they speak.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Ah but do you look like a single mother? Perhaps they are judging you

It's possible. I really need a control 2 parent family to chuck frozen veg at ducks...

Crazy that someone would start a thread to share her fear of being judged, make a really negative and inaccurate judgement about single mums in the process, and then refuse to even acknowledge judging an entire sub group of the population.

No one shamed you OP. You have entirely invented that train of thought. As others have said, your post is full of judgement.

Oh look, the National Trust sell duck food through Ocado. I'm going to try some of that on those snobby little feckers.

I think this was supposed to be self-depreciating and humble.
I’m afraid it actually came across as being about marital status, and how you “looked”. Walk a day in the shoes of a single-parent… dare you!

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Oh look, the National Trust sell duck food through Ocado. I'm going to try some of that on those snobby little feckers.

Crying here

Rather be a single mum than not know the difference between grammar and comprehension.

Crazy that someone would start a thread to share her fear of being judged, make a really negative and inaccurate judgement about single mums in the process, and then refuse to even acknowledge judging an entire sub group of the population

Crazy that someone so terrified of being judged would think it’s a good idea to post something on Mumsnet (or anywhere on the internet for that matter). Maybe they just wanted to start a bun fight 🤔

I often fed ducks bread but cooked leftover cabbage & things like that good for them. I think it is just that they get so much bread that is the problem for the ducks/swans. I take offense at your suggestion that single mums are much less value in society than a married mum. You sound very judgey yourself. Us single mums were once in relationships too but we are the strong ones who put our children first and we are strong. So if I were you I would take a long hard look at yourself and how you come across to others. You ever hear the expression 'there for the grace of God go I'.. Something for you to think about.

Well no one shamed you, but I’m glad you felt ashamed.

It’s already been said but you are incredibly unreasonable to feed mouldy bread to ducks. Why would you do that?? Just put it in your food waste.

You are also judging the people with the proper duck food, I think in attempt to be humorous. Instead of being an arse about it just order yourself a tub of swan and duck food if you want to feed the ducks.

They weren't judging and you were a bit ignorant.

@bringincrazyback

I genuinely don't get why people are accusing the OP of judging single mums. Surely she was picturing a scenario where the 'perfect' mum might be a bit of a judgy person who might judge a single mum?

Not wanting to put words in the OP's mouth, but that was what I presumed when I read it.

What would you think if someone said something like 'Plus I'm white but I'd been tanning so if you were to judge, I looked like a black woman doing [x 'shameful' thing].'

It's implying it's a shameful thing that people would judge you on.

And that you would be ashamed to be seen that way