60. I am never going to feel like an adult, am I?

[Orangejuicemarathoner]

Maybe no one ever does, and everyone else is just better at pretending than I am!

To me it would be understanding politics, having a clean enough house for unexpected visitors, knowing how to make myself look smart and sophisticated, eating and sleeping at sensible times, regularly.

But maybe, there are adults who do all those things and still don't feel like an adult, and think the things I have done are more adulty!

Or maybe we are actually all fully adult, and part of being fully adult is wondering if everyone else is more adult than you are....

I still feel like I did in my early 20s and am so surprised when I catch sight of my reflection and see a definitely middle-aged person looking back . I sometimes wonder how I am responsible enough to own a house, drive a car, be a parent - all those grown up type things!

Some strange ideas of being an adult on this thread.

I'm 52, dress in hoodies, don't have DC, don't have a high powered job or an interest in politics. I do have autonomy over my decisions, how I spend my time, and on the whole I understand and control my emotions - that's enough for me to feel like an adult.

My theory is that you only really feel like an adult when your parents pass away. I'm 40, parents in their 70's, im hoping it'll be a good while before it's tested!

I completed a day’s training back in the 1990’s and got a certificate saying I’m an appropriate adult*. I’m so not.

*As defined in the Police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984. Part of my job at the time meant I had to be on a rota to attend police interviews if a vulnerable adult was being questioned.

Every year I swear to myself I will learn how to 'style' myself properly (learn at least one 'up' do hairstyle, learn how to blow dry my hair properly, find stylish but practical workwear and accessories to tie it all together, learn how to do my makeup properly) so I can look more grown up. I know it's not quite the same as 'adulting' but I feel like I will finally be a grown up when I have learned these things.

Every year I completely fail at this, hair is either on top of my head in a bun, or down, makeup is the same way I've been doing it since I was 16, and I live in jeans and tops.

I am 43.

I still feel like a 5 year old in a 60 year old's body - I cope ok with life but feel like a childish fraud.

@Bowtie292 I am 36, and both my parents have died- I am still, most definitely, not an adulty adult. But now instead of looking to a parent for guidance... I have no adulty adult to turn to! Instead I and my friends who are also non-adulty adults have to kind of, muddle along and hope for the best. My SILs by contrast are definitely Grown Up. Their focuses are very different. Mine are- have fun with my kids and DH, do the bare minimum of housework etc for the house to be functioning, make time for my hobbies (pc gaming, board games, etc) and hang out with friends whereas my SILs would prefer to have a neat house and don't really have anything they would call a hobby beyond going to the pub with their partners or cleaning.

How does a blow dry make you an adult? or having dead parents?
I am nearly 60 and occasionally I glance sideways into a mirror and see my mother but otherwise I just live.

This is so me!! I dont think i even fake it well.

I don't feel any different to when I was 16. I thought things would change when I had dc but they didn't! I remember when I had just had dc 1 the midwife asked me something and referred to me as "mum". I didn't answer because my mum was there and I thought she was talking to her!

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

It doesn't. It is an entirely arbitrary thing that I decided at the end of my 20s would signify me being a "proper" adult. I have surpassed myself today by failing to blow dry my hair at all let alone properly. I look like Albert Einstein.

OP. I think I love you. I am not far off being 60.
My daughter still shakes her head at me, especially when I lose mine. My friends apparently think I'm a loon. And I recently had to pack in my childcare business. (Much better with the kids than at being a business woman). I'm going to try to have a clear up in a bit cos an older friend popping in tomorrow. I always seem to be saying to people "please excuse the mess we are, decorating, having a clear out and anything else I can think of.

@notthemum

OP. I think I love you. I am not far off being 60. My daughter still shakes her head at me, especially when I lose mine. My friends apparently think I'm a loon. And I recently had to pack in my childcare business. (Much better with the kids than at being a business woman). I'm going to try to have a clear up in a bit cos an older friend popping in tomorrow. I always seem to be saying to people "please excuse the mess we are, decorating, having a clear out and anything else I can think of.

you sound like my kind of woman!

@Stillfunny

I will be 60 at the end of this month. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up .

@Stillfunny Me neither and I’m retired

The worst is when you meet 30 something year olds doing the adult thing sooo well, makes me feel like a late developer (almost 50!)

53 and jealous of anyone younger than me who seem to have their lives together.

Career, partner, children..... Nope. Nome of that.

I've got a performance at the end of the month and I'm still shilly-shallying about, trying to put first pen to paper.

It's like I'm leaving my homework for the Sunday before I've got to get it in.

Have recently taken early retirement. I'm 57.
To this day I feel like a teenager. Not physically.. I like comfortable and sensible clothes and shoes,and have done for so long now.

However, I don't really relate to people of my own age. I'm not interested in disseminating illnesses , pension plans, the best leaf blowers etc... I love chatting about the here and now. I'm actually shocked at what people of my age want to talk about!

Totally understand. I'm a couple of years off 60 and stare in bafflement at my chewed cuticles. How come I haven't managed to give up this disgusting habit in nearly sixty years? Same with scruffy house too. A friend said she realised on her sixtieth birthday as she rushed for the train to meet us for lunch that she just had to accept she was always late for everything and always would be.

Im 63 and can't phone my mum on what I should do cos she's the adult.

She died 10 years ago.

I pretend to know what im doing so my kids think I'm an adult, but I'm really not, - sometimes I'm 3 , sometimes 10, sometimes 22,

Me and DH (59 and 67 respectively) have no idea what it's like to be grown up. We'd far rather be off out somewhere tha n doing things like cleaning the house and as for having a 'five year plan' like younger friends of ours have.....nah.

Who is coming out to play? 😁

Being an adult is very overrated. I am raising a glass to all the women on this thread who have retained a childlike sense of fun and wonder, in the face of all that the world has thrown at them.
Jesus said “whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, shall nowise enter in.”

That’s my cast iron excuse for not being grown up yet. At 65!

Adult?!

I've just booked tickets to a rave (an all nighter at that)

Late 40s.
Still feel early 20s.

Can't think of anything more boring than being a grown up, I mean, my life admin gets done, I've managed to raise a fabulous kid and hold down my career of 20+ years.
But growing up......? Nah.

I am 41 and still don't feel grown up

I think it’s a universal experience!