60. I am never going to feel like an adult, am I?

[Orangejuicemarathoner]

Maybe no one ever does, and everyone else is just better at pretending than I am!

To me it would be understanding politics, having a clean enough house for unexpected visitors, knowing how to make myself look smart and sophisticated, eating and sleeping at sensible times, regularly.

But maybe, there are adults who do all those things and still don't feel like an adult, and think the things I have done are more adulty!

Or maybe we are actually all fully adult, and part of being fully adult is wondering if everyone else is more adult than you are....

I am 49 and still feel like I'm a child pretending at being an adult. This resonates so much!

I’m still a 51 year old child. My face has grown up (old) more than the rest of me, which is growing (hanging) down. :-(

Spose I’d best do yesterday’s dishes now in case of the 7.30am police visit!

Yeah, I'm an adult. I'm 58. Politically, I read the Guardian, the Times, the Washington Post, DM (for balance!), listen to James O'Brien and watch Ch4 news.

My house is clean to my standards. If an unexpected guest turned up I would have food, wine, bedding and a warm dog to keep them company.

It might not be to their standard but if not, that's their problem - there's a hotel down the road.

I dress for myself. I am happy in my skin (yeah, apart from that nagging 3kg!) and I wear stuff that is comfortable and isn't likely to scare the horses. Sadly this means no more fetish wear, crotchless knickers and 7 inch heels, but I enjoyed them at the time

I eat and sleep what and when I feel like it. Isn't that the point of being grown up??

@SeaShoreGalore

Probably all the proper adults aren’t wasting their evenings on mumsnet. They’re writing reports to get ahead at work, or sorting out their budget, or some such.

Or....... Inventing the next pandemic-beating vaccine. Finishing their Grand Design within budget and time schedule. Firming up their wills, Power of Attorney, etc. Being role models to their adoring children, grandchildren. Cleverly setting up trust funds to prevent their home being sold to pay for care, et, etc..... None of which I have been grown-up enough to do (yet!)

This whole thread is so refreshing ❤️

I've been meaning to look into pensions for 20 years.

I still can't take a train without confirming I'm on the right one with the platform attendant.

Yes! Yes! Yes!
I used to think this was a male problem.
Until I had first baby I thought I was a teenager. I was 31.
When Dearest H was 51, we had an insurance salesman round to give us advice and sell us a pension for DH who had a business running.
We had signed the docs and chatting and DH said " I still think it's 1974 and I'm still trying to work out what I shall do when I grow up.
The 29 yr old salesman went pale and even his suit winced.
DH still quotes that phrase occasionally.

Think l began to feel like an adult when my dh was ill and l felt completely responsible for the family. I began to save which was completely new to me. As l met doctors etc l realised its all on me now and l couldn't look around and hope someone more grown up was behind me.
My house is still not visitor ready though and l spend far too much time lazing around but l have definitely turned a corner. Luckily l was in a public service job who took responsibility for my pension or l would be heading into dire straits soon.
My parents always felt like proper grown ups!

I will be 60 at the end of this month. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up .

It's all relative. I'm the adult in most situations but there's always someone more worthy, hardworking, responsible I can be envious of. Really we're all secretly hoping for ascension to the Lords.

DH and I are late 50s and still joyfully immature. I really thought I would feel grown up when I passed my driving test (at 35). Nope.

I try to keep the bedroom tidy in case of a doctor visiting although I think there's more chance of me pissing in the Queen's handbag these days.

@Stillfunny we had that discussion at work as I still don’t know what I want to be .One lady said I might find what I want to be in retirement. It could be a volunteer type role . I hadn’t thought that way . I do wish I had been less generous/wasteful with money but I have some fab memories. Thankfully my employer just takes my pension contributions! I still have to rush round tidying for visitors but I have learnt to be on time for things . Dress wise I wear what I think suits me .

You are 60. You have been an adult for many decades.

It sounds like you are saying you want to live a more structured and organised life.

That doesn't mean you are a child.

It just means you're an adult who has some stuff you want to sort out (as we all do).

What I mean in my previous post is that there is nothing wrong with being an adult, and in fact you are one, and even if you are an immature adult then that is OK.

Actually in some ways it's great.

Retaining a sense of playfulness and wonder at life as an adult is a fantastic thing.

You don't need to pretend you are a child :)

57 and still waiting to feel like a proper adult. Maybe it’s to do with having to be a real grown up in my profession I don’t need to feel or act as an important person outside of work. I am disorganised and love spontaneity in my personal life and probably come across as a bit of a ditsy blonde which is probably why people are often surprised at what I do for a living. Even more so when they discover that I ran my own successful business for 30yrs.
Now I have semi retired I can go out to play again.

I'm retired and watch the grown ups leaving for, and coming home from work.

I'm astonished that my offspring are approaching middle age - maybe I can learn adulting from them!

I'm 32 and when I was younger I thought your 30's was definitely where it was at regarding being an 'adult' but I still don't feel it and starting to think I never will.

@onelittlefrog

You are 60. You have been an adult for many decades.

It sounds like you are saying you want to live a more structured and organised life.

That doesn't mean you are a child.

It just means you're an adult who has some stuff you want to sort out (as we all do).

Oh goody! a grown up has arrived!

Another not adult here, but have also got a lot of premature old lady traits, especially now my back is so bad.

Similar age and feel like I should be 21 at most.
I get a shock when I look in a mirror and disappointed that I can’t go clubbing or to Ibiza with all the young people (although I am going to the Wanted concert)

I was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago.

onelittlefrog

I know 5 year olds who are more grown up than me.
The only difference is I have money and the freedom that comes with age which makes it only look like I am adulting.

I haven’t held down a job that lasts for more than 3 days since I was 22.

I‘m 50, one of the oldest in our group of friends, and younger pals often approach me for advice on adulting type things. I‘m still astonished by this as I always feel I‘m playing at adulting and not always very good at it. From the outside it probably looks like I have things together but on the inside I‘m eternally on catchup mode.

I'm 65 and definitely not an adult. I don't think I ever will be! I keep thinking I missed the memo when younger, to go for adult training. Or perhaps I just didn't pay attention as a child and teen!

Sure I have more experience of life now (mainly of how to mess things up!) but I don't feel like a grown up. I feel very inadequate.

So yeah, totally get where you are coming from OP! Perhaps all of us non adults should start a society, but we'd need a grown up to run it, wouldn't we?

I'm 62 and I still haven't decided what I want to do when I grow up