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Original poster

Positive input on latchkey kids please!!

87 replies

solittletime · 16/09/2021 07:05

Please don’t tell me all the bad things. I have read them in enough detail to be coming her to ask for some positive reinforcement.
Having been always at home for my kids due to part time work, I’ve now gone full time and they have to let themselves in after school.
They are on their own until 5:30 (get gone at 4)

It didn’t seem like it would be a big deal but actually I am feeling so guilty!!
They are 14 and 11.

Live in a block with nice neighbours who are around if help is needed.

Any positive stories or useful ground rules to establish would be welcome!

Stories of mental health strain and stranger danger definitely not.

It has to continue happening for at least this academic year, then will re evaluate next year.

OP posts:
Original poster
solittletime · 16/09/2021 07:06

Get home not get gone!!

Also, 11 yr old is almost 12
They both go to school together

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 16/09/2021 07:06

I think you're worrying over absolutely nothing.

I was home alone after school everyday from aged 11 as well as during most of the school holidays.

What on earth are you feeling guilty and panicked about?

ItWearsTheBatteriesOut · 16/09/2021 07:07

An hour and a half to control the TV, game or do what they'd like whilst they decompress from the pressures of school.

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 16/09/2021 07:08

Yep, we had this from when my brother and I were 12 and 13. It was absolutely fine. I got in, got changed, lounged about a bit and then mum got back. It gave me the opportunity to snack on things mum didn't necessarily approve of, which was a positive for me...

Annietheacrobat · 16/09/2021 07:08

I think that is quite a normal situation. My mum went back to work when I went to secondary school. 3 days a week she got home at 6pm

Ljc1985 · 16/09/2021 07:08

I didn't even realise there was a term for this but I did that most days as a kid and have nothing but really fond memories of school days . They will be absolutely fine OP 😊

Allthingspeaches · 16/09/2021 07:09

At those ages they'll be fine. They'll raid the kitchen and watch TV.

WaterBottle123 · 16/09/2021 07:09

I had this from 11 and was responsible for younger sister.

I'm very well adjusted and independent

Donatella · 16/09/2021 07:10

They'll be fine. My then 12 and 9 year olds were forced to do this during the first lock down as DH and I were going out to work and there was no afterschool childcare. They coped fine and I think it was actually quite good for them to learn some independence

lannistunut · 16/09/2021 07:11

Two together is not such an issue, unless they fight/bully.

The trick is to make it nice, not 'abandoned' so get them nice things they can have for tea, occasionally a new dvd etc.

Try to persuade them to do homework in that time so you can have family time when you're home?

EssentiallyDisorganised · 16/09/2021 07:11

I liked it and my DCs like it too, in fact I get a sad face from DD if I have the temerity to come home from work early.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 16/09/2021 07:11

What a stupid outdated term that is
A hangover from a time when it was considered shameful not to have a stay at home mum waiting for the kids
They will be fine. Not sure what else needs to be said!

SwayingInTime · 16/09/2021 07:12

Mine would love this (they do this but at odd times due to shift work). They would really enjoy the routine and privacy/ quiet time in the house. Just get lots of easy food!

mynameiscalypso · 16/09/2021 07:13

I think I assumed that - covid aside - this was the norm these days. It certainly was what happened for me and most of my friends when we were teenagers 29 years ago.

Original poster
solittletime · 16/09/2021 07:13

Wow, what a quick response! I think it’s because I wasn’t around yesterday to deal with a ‘friendship’ crisis and they had to wait for me to get home.
Everyone seemed so small and helpless.
But yes, I went ahead with the plan as initially I also thought they’ll develop some independence, u til yesterday, when I thought ‘what have I done!!’ And then went on to google latchkey kids, which came up with loads of negative stuff!!!

Your responses are so reassuring, literally ‘get a grip it’s fine’ - you’re sending me off to work much lighter thank you!!

OP posts:
whatswithtodaytoday · 16/09/2021 07:15

Surely lots of/most secondary school kids are in this situation? I suppose maybe not so much at the moment as people are still wfh, but most parents work nowadays, and school finishes well before an office job.

They'll be fine. They're of an age now where they need some independence.

Hill1991 · 16/09/2021 07:18

I was a latchkey kid I think it taught me independence and learn to do basic things for myself, I actually loved it gave me time to myself and I could watch what I wanted on tv Grin

lannistunut · 16/09/2021 07:20

To me latchkey kid is younger, maybe 7/8/9?

Secondary is different.

SoloISland · 16/09/2021 07:27

Over seventy years ago I was the only latchkey kid in school. My so-called father abandoned ship and mum had to go out to work,

The worst part was dropping the key on its white tape down my neck every winter morning.. shivers...

It was just what it was. Coming home to a cold , empty house as it was my job to light the fire . And peel the potatoes for tea..
Mum made a huge pot of soup ,, stock made with bones and delicious - on Sundays and I was told to heat it and have a bowl when I got in.
Looking back? It was yes a lonely way to be as a child. No TV etc . But it was as it needed to be. And I think that that need is what children respond to , But the loneliness is what I remember.. It taught me resilience and responsibility,

lannistunut · 16/09/2021 07:29

How old were you @SoloISland?

A lot more work in house in your youth, now you would click the heating on!!

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 16/09/2021 07:31

I remember on another thread about leaving children at home for a couple of hours, a teacher said that during lockdown, secondary school children were expected to be able to stay at home all day on their own. So I don't think you need to worry.

CornishTiger · 16/09/2021 07:33

Honestly 90 mins they will be fine. As they get older they can help prep tea-peel spuds etc.

SoloISland · 16/09/2021 07:33

PS maybe that reads too harsh? But it was as it was and as with you that is what matters.

And I was far younger than yours are. Maybe eight? Yours are fine and know and have more to do etc. What really made it so isolating for me was the reason ie the abandonment and breaking apart of our family, An dthat does not apply with you.lThey are old enough to understand and value what you are doing.

dangerrabbit · 16/09/2021 07:34

These are secondary age, not little kids (which is what latchkey kid refers to). They probably value the independence, especially the 14 year old.

lannistunut · 16/09/2021 07:34

@SoloISland

PS maybe that reads too harsh? But it was as it was and as with you that is what matters.

And I was far younger than yours are. Maybe eight? Yours are fine and know and have more to do etc. What really made it so isolating for me was the reason ie the abandonment and breaking apart of our family, An dthat does not apply with you.lThey are old enough to understand and value what you are doing.

I think at only eight and with sudden change it would be hard Brew
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