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Original poster

Positive input on latchkey kids please!!

87 replies

solittletime · 16/09/2021 07:05

Please don’t tell me all the bad things. I have read them in enough detail to be coming her to ask for some positive reinforcement.
Having been always at home for my kids due to part time work, I’ve now gone full time and they have to let themselves in after school.
They are on their own until 5:30 (get gone at 4)

It didn’t seem like it would be a big deal but actually I am feeling so guilty!!
They are 14 and 11.

Live in a block with nice neighbours who are around if help is needed.

Any positive stories or useful ground rules to establish would be welcome!

Stories of mental health strain and stranger danger definitely not.

It has to continue happening for at least this academic year, then will re evaluate next year.

OP posts:
Gastropod · 16/09/2021 07:36

Absolutely fine! Secondary age, and home alone for around 90 minutes - really nothing to worry or feel guilty about.

The important thing IMO is you reliably being there when they expect you back home, so they can always feel reassured that you'll be there at the set time. And being reachable (if your work/commute allows for that) if they need you before you get back.

OrangeTortoise · 16/09/2021 07:40

My brother and I were latchkey kids younger than this, I'm now a happy adult who has a great relationship with both my parents.

Serendipity79 · 16/09/2021 07:42

I hate the term latch key but its harking back to a previous age where mums stayed home instead of working. They'll be absolutely fine if they're senior school age, its only for a short time, its not like they are primary age.

Much better for them to learn a work ethic and some independence in my view!

ofwarren · 16/09/2021 07:43

@lannistunut

To me latchkey kid is younger, maybe 7/8/9?

Secondary is different.

I agree with this. They arent latch key kids and them being on their own for a bit is totally fine.
Lockdownbear · 16/09/2021 07:45

I'm another who thinks of latch key kids as being younger, primary aged kids dating back to the days of parents working but no afterschool provision.

Secondary kids is normal. Most wraparound care stops at the end of primary.

reluctantbrit · 16/09/2021 07:45

DD is alone for 2 hours if DH and I are both not working from home.

We expect a call that she is in and just have a short chat. Then she does the same she does normally: eat something, change and starts homework.

She will chat with friends, watch YouTube, reads and gets herself ready for any club she has on the day. On one day she goes on her own, one day we go as soon as one of us is home.

She likes the peace and the feeling of being responsible. We have neighbours on. both sides she can always call on and a couple of friends also live just around the corner where she could go to.

We are now thinking of going back to the office and are thinking of installing a key safe for emergencies. Previously she needed a toggle on her keyring to pay for lunch so she always checked but they moved to facial recognition and we had already a day she forgot her keys.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 16/09/2021 07:46

I was home alone after school in secondary. It was fine- except the odd day I forgot my key and had to shelter from rain in the greenhouse :-/ you would think after that happening once I would have been more careful but no.....

moynomore · 16/09/2021 07:47

An hour and a half and not even alone. Come on, it's obviously fine.

moohoop · 16/09/2021 07:48

I was home alone from the age of about 10.

My dad worked shifts so was there sometimes but in bed, so might as well have been on my own.

I bloody loved it. I felt independent and it was empowering.

gogohm · 16/09/2021 07:49

From 11 it's normal, as long as no sn, specific issues kids can be alone for an hour or two. Back when I was young kids as young as 7 wore jets around their necks and let themselves in. Some secondary schools allow kids to stay in the library as an alternative

trulyconfuseddotcom · 16/09/2021 07:51

My DD is 13 and loves having the house to herself if we aren't there! She moaned that lockdowns meant that we were always there. Yours will be fine, lots of secondary kids do this, so try to stop feeling guilty.

Timeforachangetoday12 · 16/09/2021 07:57

As a now 43 year old ‘latchkey’ kid I did ok!

The only thing that used to annoy me was my Mum did expect me to clean up (hoover, wash pots from breakfast etc) & start dinner….I used to get frustrated as I had a lot of homework to do!! But she wanted to come home to a tidy house.

As a mother now to an 18 year old she was an occasional latchkey kid, we had automated lights so they never came home to a dark house etc. She said she was nervous the first few times but just got on with her homework!
I’ve just gone back to FT hours at work but both husband and I WFH/office mix so one of us will normally be around for my 12 year old- she’d rather we weren’t around as she loves the independence!! We not allowed to open the door she wants to use her own key!!

Snog · 16/09/2021 07:58

My dd had this 3 days a week from age 13-15 for 2-3 hours a day and she really didn't like coming home to an empty house so I bought her a cat as consolation. I wish I could have been at home for her at that time as school was difficult for her but as she finished school at 2.30pm it wasn't very compatible with my work.
I did the best I could in the situation but it wasn't ideal.
As you have two kids I think things will probably be fine.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 16/09/2021 08:03

There is nothing that can't be dealt with at 5.30.

Clymene · 16/09/2021 08:04

Latchkey children are small children who have to let themselves in. Not teenagers. My friend was home alone from the age of 7 - she was a latchkey kids; yours aren't.

Most children whose parents work are home alone from the moment they start secondary. Mine were. I've honestly never given it a second thought. I think it's good for them.

AFuturisticalSound · 16/09/2021 08:07

I don't know what I can tell you in terms of positive stories as it's a non-issue as far as I'm concerned

I'm a single parent, I need to work so my DC have seen themselves home since year 6. It's their totally normal life and I don't suppose they give it a second thought.

Dizzy1234 · 16/09/2021 08:10

My sister's and I were latchkey kids, never did us any harm.
My DD was too, I set ground rules, straight home from school, no friends in unless prearranged with me, no cooking but can eat snacks & lock yourself in.
We also had neighbours we could call on in an emergency.
My DD used to love having the house to herself for a couple of hours.
Your DC will be fine

DiscoDown21 · 16/09/2021 08:14

We did this as teens and we’re fine. It was no big deal tbh.

GOODCAT · 16/09/2021 08:16

We were latch key kids and loved it. We loved the independence and had loads of parent free fun. It was 100% a hugely positive experience and I got on well with my parents all the better for it.

NewYearNewTwatName · 16/09/2021 08:16

please don't use the latch key kids for this age group. They really are not.

Latch key kids refers to children who were in primary school.

I was a latch key kid from the age of 5 my sibling was 7 when it started. We had to get up, get breakfast make our lunch for school and get to school on our own in a morning and let ourselves in after school and would be home for a couple to a few hours(depending on day and traffic) on our own. That is a latch key kid.

secondary school age children is completely normal to be on there own for an hour or 2.

Although like pp by secondary we were expected, to tidy, wash up, hoover and get tea on for our parents getting home.

Weenurse · 16/09/2021 08:21

Mine developed independence.
If they forgot their key, they had to go to the neighbors or wait for their sibling.
They also had to cook 1 night a week.
It taught them independence, problem solving and time management.
They are very much self starters compared to their friends.

nimbuscloud · 16/09/2021 08:32

Honestly 90 mins they will be fine. As they get older they can help prep tea-peel spuds etc.

They are 14 and 11. Well old enough now to cook a full meal never mind peel potatoes.

Weedsorwishes · 16/09/2021 08:37

I would say I'm secondary it's fine. By the time they've got in, got changed had a snack and some screen time you will be home

noblegreenk · 16/09/2021 08:37

I personally dont see it as an issue. My dd is only 3yo, so I can't comment from a parents pov, but I remember being at home alone from my childhood fondly. I'd often be on my own for 1.5hrs after school from the age of 11 onwards. I loved it! It made me feel really grown up and i liked having the time to myself. In the school holidays I'd often be on my own all day for 3 days of the week too. I was sensible though and would do designated chores, then maybe go out to meet a friend or have a friend over. My mum worked locally, so then I'd usually walk the dog to meet her from work. It taught me independence, responsibility and how to be on my own.

IllegibleSquiggles · 16/09/2021 08:41

@CloseYourEyesAndSee

What a stupid outdated term that is A hangover from a time when it was considered shameful not to have a stay at home mum waiting for the kids They will be fine. Not sure what else needs to be said!
Exactly. ‘Latchkey kids’ is a misogynistic, outdated term which views it as ‘natural’ that women are SAHMs awaiting their offspring’s return from school with fresh buns and a big smile. You sound as if you’re still internalising that if you feel this bad about something so ordinary.
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