Positive input on latchkey kids please!!

[solittletime]

Please don’t tell me all the bad things. I have read them in enough detail to be coming her to ask for some positive reinforcement.
Having been always at home for my kids due to part time work, I’ve now gone full time and they have to let themselves in after school.
They are on their own until 5:30 (get gone at 4)

It didn’t seem like it would be a big deal but actually I am feeling so guilty!!
They are 14 and 11.

Live in a block with nice neighbours who are around if help is needed.

Any positive stories or useful ground rules to establish would be welcome!

Stories of mental health strain and stranger danger definitely not.

It has to continue happening for at least this academic year, then will re evaluate next year.

I used to go home with my brother until 5.30pm, absolutely fine. Neither of us minded, we would just get on with life, it’s not a big deal. Neither of us our damaged.

I was 10 and my brother was 6 when my mum went to work full time and we’d just come home and watch tv until she got in a half 5. She never left my brother alone, only with me. Never thought anything of it as it’s what’s everyone did. I was a ‘responsible’ child so she knew to trust me. Friends dramas and bad days had to wait until the parents got in and that wasn’t always a bad thing because it gave us time to think about it and assess whether it was the catastrophe we really believed it to be. She was usually there for emergencies (except the one time I broke my arm at 13 but a neighbour helped out). She needed to work & we had no alternative- it doesn’t harm kids, it’s part of growing up and learning to be independent

just to be clear, as I ready said secondary age completely normal. They are not latch key kids.

My last post was to the poster saying primary age latch key kids in the 80s completely was fine and no harm comes from it.

I was a ‘responsible’ child so she knew to trust me

Yeah I know, I was just a bad irresponsible child.

You know I get it, I was obviously just a little shit playing with fire at 5 years old.

I mean what responsible 5 year old would do that?

There is nothing to feel guilty about OP. I think it’s is quite normal and it’s not a long time for them to either have a bit of down time or get on with their homework. These kind of things help make them better adjusted people so what you’re doing is entirely a positive thing IMO.

OK, decades ago now, but at around 14, after my DM went back to work, I had to let myself in after school and be there for younger siblings (about 10 and 8).

I was also expected to peel the potatoes for dinner (for 6 of us) and (before we had central heating) lay a fire in the sitting room. (I’m still a dab hand at rolling up newspapers and zig-zagging them for fire-lighters.)
Never thought it anything unusual.

Lots of independence. From ages 14-18 used to finish school/college then walk down to my sisters primary school (10-15 mins) pick her up and walk home, (another 15 mins) it was a really nice bonding time, we didn’t really argue unless my mum was around 😂 sometimes when I had money we’d get sweets from the shop too

From age 11 I would get the bus around 20 mins to and from school alone or with friends.

When I got home I'd be there for around 3 hours on my own & always had keys to let myself in. Mostly I'd just relax, have something to eat & get some work done.

Enjoyed time being alone.

I think the only rule I can remember was not to leave the house once I got back in. I say this as I remember talking to my friend through the intercom telling her I couldn't come out lol.

That being said I reckon I was quite responsible until I got to about 15/16 and would invite people back for a while before my parents got home.

I loved it! I’d grab a hot choc, read a book, decompress without having to talk to mum about my day straight away. I don’t remember any angsts about waiting for mum to come home. I’d often be given a task like putting dinner in the oven. This was back when internet was run on a modem though, I’d have a think about parental controls etc while you are out of the house.

I am at home when my secondary school kids get home but all they want is snack, drink any time alone to chill on internet or gaming until dinner. They would not notice if I was here or not. As long as you're back by dinner (you are!) it's absolutely fine. I wouldn't use latchkey kid to describe secondary kids anyway.

@solittletime

Please don’t tell me all the bad things. I have read them in enough detail to be coming her to ask for some positive reinforcement. Having been always at home for my kids due to part time work, I’ve now gone full time and they have to let themselves in after school. They are on their own until 5:30 (get gone at 4)

It didn’t seem like it would be a big deal but actually I am feeling so guilty!!
They are 14 and 11.

Live in a block with nice neighbours who are around if help is needed.

Any positive stories or useful ground rules to establish would be welcome!

Stories of mental health strain and stranger danger definitely not.

It has to continue happening for at least this academic year, then will re evaluate next year.

OP they will love it a bit of home time alone at a safe age, then you get back, that's quite nice for them. Why not? They're certainly not latchkey Kids either so don't worry about that!!

Yep we used to do this (me and sister) age 12/13 onward I think. I was more sensible so parents knew we'd be ok. My sister wouldn't have been trusted alone though. I used to love it, put on tv and get chocolates out and make ourselves a super sweet cuppa. (we were wild, clearly 😂)

You know your kids, and if you feel they are okay to be left then they will be fine. They will probs be buzzing at being alone in the house watching whatever tv they fancy and eating snacks.