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Original poster

It's been 18m since I last saw my son

116 replies

StillMedusa · 15/09/2021 00:39

And it gets harder every day.
Bloody Covid.
He went to Australia, so happy to finally have the visa to be with his lovely partner, 3 weeks before Covid hit. It was hard seeing him go, but knowing we were only 24 hours on a plane away, made it bearable.
Then Covid.
Since then he has missed becoming an uncle, and last weekend we listened to his voice singing his latest song (he's a musician), as his sister walked down the isle and a little piece of me broke.
I know we are lucky, we haven't lost anyone in our family. But I haven't hugged my son in 18m, and I doubt we will see him for a long time yet.
I miss him so badly and I know he is missing us so much too.
It sucks.

OP posts:

Nutsabouttopic · 15/09/2021 00:48

Didn't want to just read and run.
Yes it's shitty
I hope boarders open again soon for you 💐💐💐

TooBigForMyBoots · 15/09/2021 00:48

Oh Medusa, (((hughughugtighthugs))).

EmeraldShamrock · 15/09/2021 00:50

Awh I hope the borders open soon.
The hugs will be extra special.

WingingItSince1973 · 15/09/2021 00:51

That is a long time. I didn't see my eldest dd for nearly 12 months due to covid and she lives in same country as me. Its so sad he's missed things happening back home. Was lovely to have his voice at his sisters wedding. Hope you get to see him soon. Xxx

SeaToSki · 15/09/2021 01:02

I didnt see my Mum and Dad, sisters and their families for 18 months either. It sucks.

Strokethefurrywall · 15/09/2021 01:14

I too live overseas in the Caribbean, and I haven't seen my family or held them since April 2019.
It is a desperate situation but I'm hoping we can get back for the whole of summer 2022.
I spend most days praying that nothing bad happens between each day and then.
I'm sorry, I feel your pain from a daughters' point of view.

Original poster

StillMedusa · 15/09/2021 01:27

Thanks for the replies and I am very sorry for those of us in similar situations.
It's the CAN'T that hurts. My eldest is a doctor 300 miles away and I didn't see her for 9 months as she was on the Covid frontline..but at least she was in the uk! DS1 is so far away and has missed so much in our family, and the distance is so so hard. The need to touch him, hug him, mother him, is unbearable some days and video chats are not the same.
Until he left, he lived at home (and his fiancee lived with us for two years, I miss her so much too) and all I want is 'night Mum, love you' and his daft antics with the dog , his morning grumble at the Espresso machine.
I want to roll on the floor and tantrum like a 2 year old screaming 'It's not fair!' Only I'm 53 and that would look a bit daft....

OP posts:

Pikamoo · 15/09/2021 06:07

I haven't seen my family for 18 months either. In that time my sister's gotten married and my daughter have gone from a 3 month old bean bag to a walking and talking toddler. Baby number 2 is due in 3 months and I don't expect to see family again until he is a good few months old. It's so hard. All I can say is thank god for WhatsApp.

lljkk · 15/09/2021 06:16

September 2019 since I last saw my dad. Maybe next in about 15 months.

SimplySteveRedux · 15/09/2021 06:27

DS lives in Scandinavia, not seen him since August '19. Sucks :(

FiveShelties · 15/09/2021 06:28

I have not seen my Mum for 23 months. I missed her 90th in May 20, her 91st In May 21 and I am determined I am not missing her 92nd.

It is really tough, I am scared I am never going to see her alive again.

Londonnight · 15/09/2021 06:29

I haven't seen my son for almost 3 years [ Christmas 2018 ] He is in Canada. I haven't yet met my grandson who is now 20 months old.

It is really tough, but we get by with a Skype call weekly and I get to see my grandchildren growing up. I am longing for a hug from them.

amatsip · 15/09/2021 06:45

I feel you, my 23 year old son moved to be his gf in the USA August 2019, I haven’t seen him since, he has got married and they had a baby in that time.
With moving house on both sides it will be a while yet before we can visit 😕

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/09/2021 06:55

DH hasn't seen his brother for six years now (as we and them both lived abroad and kept missing each other on trips home, then Covid). But its particularly hard for PILs i know. Its been two years for them. And no idea when they could potentially see each other. They last saw Niece (their DGD) as a lively little toddler... now we have photos in school uniform. Plus we have a Nephew now).

Its China in our case. There may be a possibility that both them PILs could travel to Thailand in a few months...

leavesthataregreen · 15/09/2021 07:03

@StillMedusa

Thanks for the replies and I am very sorry for those of us in similar situations. It's the CAN'T that hurts. My eldest is a doctor 300 miles away and I didn't see her for 9 months as she was on the Covid frontline..but at least she was in the uk! DS1 is so far away and has missed so much in our family, and the distance is so so hard. The need to touch him, hug him, mother him, is unbearable some days and video chats are not the same. Until he left, he lived at home (and his fiancee lived with us for two years, I miss her so much too) and all I want is 'night Mum, love you' and his daft antics with the dog , his morning grumble at the Espresso machine. I want to roll on the floor and tantrum like a 2 year old screaming 'It's not fair!' Only I'm 53 and that would look a bit daft....

I am so sorry for you. The pain you describe is so strong and completely understandable. I'd feel the same. You will see them again. Get a savings pot going for a long holiday over there. or, if they need assistance, to fly them here for a visit once the borders are open.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/09/2021 07:14

we are so lucky to have internet face time though.
i am sorry you miss him, i have a friend whose dc moved to australia and i really feel for her.
my own dd is abroad in that part of the world and i have fear of her settling in australia.

Doggiedementia · 15/09/2021 07:19

I have only seen my eldest once since December 2019 and he’s only in England. And that was outside at a distance and no hugging.

Its rotten.

Monestera · 15/09/2021 07:22

This sounds so painful for you. I hope there's comfort in the fact that he's had the last 18 months with the woman he loves, friends and family and in a safe and comfortable country. (I know they've had their problems too :( ).

PrimeraVez · 15/09/2021 07:24

Yep, I feel your pain.

We are in the Middle East and haven’t seen family in the UK and South Africa since December 2019.

In that time I’ve had a baby and my lovely Granddad has become terminally ill. It’s so shit.

Hippywannabe · 15/09/2021 07:35

It must be really hard. 2 of my sons live away so I couldn't see them over lockdowns. During the winter one, my granddaughter was born. She was 10 weeks old when we finally got to meet her.
I was so angry with people breaking lockdown laws at that time and had to walk away from a couple of people I knew who mentioned in front of me that they were getting their primary children together at the weekend for a playdate at home. (No, they weren't in a bubble).
I literally thought I was going to scream, "It's not fair!" .at them.
Big hugs

PurBal · 15/09/2021 07:37

Yep. It sucks. But you’re not alone. DF in a red list country with curfew and no (UK regulated) vaccines. He’s there for work, company just about afloat with no friends or family around. He took a pay cut and worked unpaid for a lot of the pandemic. He missed my entire pregnancy and DS birth (first grandson) and likely won’t meet him for another 12 months if we see him again. I’ve said this before: we talk about repatriation of his body or his remains (late 60s, high risk) more than we talk about seeing each other again. In fact I received the paperwork, should I need it, just last week. It’s bloody hard. But we and my DF are a lot more fortunate than others and that puts into into perspective for me.

JassyRadlett · 15/09/2021 07:44

Yes, it’s the can’t that makes it worse. And the length of the tunnel with no light at the end of it.

My family are all in Australia. Last saw them August 2019. Since then I’ve a new nephew, and another coming in January. Thank goodness my parents were here for Christmas that year - but our flights home for this Christmas have just been (predictably) cancelled and the way some of the state premiers are behaving about not opening up until all children are vaccinated makes me wonder if mine will be adults before we can get back (they are 10 and 6. Huge jump from the 7 and 3 they were when we were last there.)

We are all heartbroken. My mother is increasingly angry at the governments in Australia for not setting out a clear pathway on this, and for not taking steps sooner to get people used to the idea of endemic Covid post vaccines, and for their horrific comms on vaccines.

Saddm · 15/09/2021 07:46

Nc for this.
I haven't seen my ds for over 10 years..
When police took him away.
Arrested for the worst crimes..
Therefore I can't be seen to be missing him..
When I absolutely do.
I hope your ds is happy and well op.
As is mine.

countrygirl99 · 15/09/2021 07:46

Same here. DS2 moved to his wife's country, had to go before the Brexit transition. Hope to go there at Christmas but daren't count the days.

Spudlet · 15/09/2021 07:48

I’m so sorry, that must be so very hard. FWIW, I think a tantrum is a perfectly sensible reaction under the circumstances, or at the very least a good snotty wailing crying session. It can be very cathartic.

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