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Original poster

It's been 18m since I last saw my son

116 replies

StillMedusa · 15/09/2021 00:39

And it gets harder every day.
Bloody Covid.
He went to Australia, so happy to finally have the visa to be with his lovely partner, 3 weeks before Covid hit. It was hard seeing him go, but knowing we were only 24 hours on a plane away, made it bearable.
Then Covid.
Since then he has missed becoming an uncle, and last weekend we listened to his voice singing his latest song (he's a musician), as his sister walked down the isle and a little piece of me broke.
I know we are lucky, we haven't lost anyone in our family. But I haven't hugged my son in 18m, and I doubt we will see him for a long time yet.
I miss him so badly and I know he is missing us so much too.
It sucks.

OP posts:
MsHedgehog · 15/09/2021 08:36

@JasonMomoasgirlfriend Read the news?

It may be on our green list but Australia won’t allow travel.

JustMoved123 · 15/09/2021 08:37

It’s the same for us though it was us that moved away, on the proviso that we could travel back once a year and our son and daughter could come here once a year too, I am struggling so much too and feel so guilty, some days I just want to book a flight and leave but it’s just not practical on many levels. I just wish I could see an end.

EmeraldRaine · 15/09/2021 08:38

Yeah but he's still alive, not like plenty of people's relatives thanks to covid. You can phone him, face time him, exchange videos. He made the choice to go to Australia, even without covid there's a chance he's not going to make it back for family events anyway. That's the reality of someone choosing to go and live on the other side of the world. Be angry at him if you need to be angry at someone. I think you need some perspective here.

countrygirl99 · 15/09/2021 08:39

[quote MsHedgehog]@JasonMomoasgirlfriend Read the news?

It may be on our green list but Australia won’t allow travel.[/quote]
Exactly this. Green list only means you can come from a country. It's up to them whether you can go to it and in many cases visiting from the UK hasn't been possible.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 15/09/2021 08:40

[quote MsHedgehog]@JasonMomoasgirlfriend Read the news?

It may be on our green list but Australia won’t allow travel.[/quote]
No need for being patronising. It was just a question 🤷

Enko · 15/09/2021 08:40

Oh I understand this feeling op and I am one of the lucky ones who got to see my youngest this July after 12 months away. She is only 17 (16 when she went) and it makes your heart ache to hold your loved one.

daytripper28 · 15/09/2021 08:42

what @EmeraldRaine said.

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 15/09/2021 08:43

@countrygirl99 Green list only means you can come from a country. Yeh so I thought that meant he could come back then 🤔
Anyway, I googled and there was articles talking about travel from Nov so that's not long. Fingers crossed to op

Enko · 15/09/2021 08:44

@EmeraldRaine whilst all of what you are saying may be true. It doesn't make it easier when you miss someone you love.

I am not angry with my dd for chosong to follow her dreams I am damned proud of her and I know she is doing what is right for her and I support that 100%. However I miss her and I long to wrap my arms round her and hug her.

Doesn't change I know she is enjoying her experience and that she is thriving.

Contradicting emotions can be at play and personally I think your post was unkind.

Cazzovuoi · 15/09/2021 08:44

I feel you OP.

I live abroad and haven’t been to my home country in 2 years. Sad

MsHedgehog · 15/09/2021 08:44

@EmeraldRaine

Yeah but he's still alive, not like plenty of people's relatives thanks to covid. You can phone him, face time him, exchange videos. He made the choice to go to Australia, even without covid there's a chance he's not going to make it back for family events anyway. That's the reality of someone choosing to go and live on the other side of the world. Be angry at him if you need to be angry at someone. I think you need some perspective here.
Ah, the classic be grateful post. People are allowed to be sad and miss family...
RosesAndHellebores · 15/09/2021 08:48

All you can do is turn it on its head and look forward to catching up and the thrills that surely lie ahead.

In the meantime soothing thoughts and Flowers or Cake

TurquoiseBaubles · 15/09/2021 08:50

I haven't seen mine for 5 years Sad

He went on a working visa, and had to wait until it was converted to a full visa. He had planned to come home last spring, but Covid.

It's unlikely he'll see his grandparents again.

ittakes2 · 15/09/2021 08:51

Same. All my family live in Oz, parents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brother, nieces, nephews and close friends. Unlikely to see them again for a while.

JassyRadlett · 15/09/2021 08:54

Yeah but he's still alive, not like plenty of people's relatives thanks to covid. You can phone him, face time him, exchange videos. He made the choice to go to Australia, even without covid there's a chance he's not going to make it back for family events anyway. That's the reality of someone choosing to go and live on the other side of the world. Be angry at him if you need to be angry at someone. I think you need some perspective here

With respect, please fuck off with the ‘be grateful’ and ‘it’s all his fault for moving away’ bullshit and perhaps look into the concept of empathy for all the people on this thread who are really struggling with this particular long tail of the pandemic.

We made our choices in a particular context. That context has been destroyed in a way we could not have imagined. Are you this awful to those who took jobs in the travel or hospitality industries? Who were self employed with no support during lockdowns?

sonjadog · 15/09/2021 09:00

People are allowed to be sad for whatever reason. Things can always be worse and there are always people who are experiencing those situations. But there isn't a competition in life where only those who have the most difficult situation are allowed to be sad.

thehistorymum · 15/09/2021 09:12

Sensing love OP ❤️ It’s really horrible xxx

iwannabelikeyouhoohoo · 15/09/2021 09:13

I’ve just come back to England after nearly 2 and a half years (high risk pregnancy before covid, then border closures, plus parents both unwell so no possibility for them to travel). They’ve just met my nearly-two-year old for the first time and my heart broke. We have all missed so so much.

nc4565 · 15/09/2021 09:18

Ditto OP.

My family are in WA. No idea when I'll see them next. My parents last saw my DC2 when she was a baby. She's 2.5 now. She'll be over 3/3.5 when they see her next.

So much time has slipped by. It's heartbreaking.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 15/09/2021 09:19

It's been very hard for families in multiple countries.
We saw my sister in March 2019. She had plane tickets booked for the end of March 21 to come and visit. So we haven't seen her in ages. She'll be here next week finally. Her mental health has suffered being alone for work in another country.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 15/09/2021 09:19

Sorry she had tickets for Mach 2020

Redsquirrel5 · 15/09/2021 09:28

StillMedusa I understand what you are saying. My DD and partner went travelling and have been in NZ for 2 years 4 months. At least they are safe but I miss them. They had been in Thailand and Australia for 6 months the year before but had to come home as his mum was very ill. Went back in the May and were about three weeks off leaving when the pandemic hit. They were in a campervan and given 24 hrs notice so bank of mum and dad put them into Airbnb for a month and then they went to a small holding on Workaway for 8 months. A few months fruit picking after that and now in Wellington with accommodation and jobs. Not sure when we will see them again but they are certainly having an adventure. My sister and cousins are in Australia and they are hoping to go back there. We have both retired since and it was always my plan to travel then. I certainly wouldn’t fancy getting on a plane yet.
I haven’t spoken to DD for a while as the time difference and her hours at work have made this more difficult. Still able to message though.

It will be a long🤗hug when we can see them but the main thing is they are safe isn’t it. My parents travelled a lot so I was used to being away from grandparents, aunties and uncles and my cousins one who was more like a sister. Just three of us here now, two sisters 300 miles away though I did see them in May.

Taytotots · 15/09/2021 09:33

Sympathise with you op. We moved to Canada but managed to see family fairly regularly before covid between us going there and them coming here. Probably just as much as when we lived in a different part of the UK to them. Some still in UK, some in Australia. Were due to meet up last summer for a big family holiday but obviously couldn't. Postponed until this year but had to cancel again. Fingers crossed for 2022. We do Skype regularly but it's not the same.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 15/09/2021 09:41

@Saddm

Nc for this. I haven't seen my ds for over 10 years.. When police took him away. Arrested for the worst crimes.. Therefore I can't be seen to be missing him.. When I absolutely do. I hope your ds is happy and well op. As is mine. Sad
How distressing for you @Saddm. I worked with CPS for 8 years abd I often felt that the families if these offenders were also victims in a way as they lose not only the physical presence if their loved one but also lose the person they think they were iyswim. And nobody thinks about how much their parents/loved ones suffer at this knowledge
HoppingPavlova · 15/09/2021 09:41

I truly don’t understand it. Many of us in my gen went over to the UK to work and it was pretty much accepted that it would be roughly a 3 year stint on average. There was none of this FaceTime/book business, no email and phone calls were so prohibitively expensive that they were reserved for special occasions. Apart from that it was the odd letter generally with big news. It was just accepted that you missed births, deaths and marriages. I know a few people where a parent died suddenly or whatnot. There was no nipping back and forward for these huge life events let alone some holiday catch up. Long haul plane tickets were not far off house deposits and planes didn’t go every day. Many of us extended our stints and were there several years and heck some even got married and stayed pretty much knowing that parents at best may make it over for the wedding if given enough time to save and after that once a decade at best would be realistic.

Our parents loved us dearly and missed us but were busy in their everyday lives (no doubt had the odd moan to a neighbour over a cuppa), and we loved our families back home dearly but were extremely busy with work. Everyone coped and got on with it. How has it gotten to the point of I have not seen my son/daughter/mother/father/grandparent on deathbed and am wailing and nashing?