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Original poster

It's been 18m since I last saw my son

116 replies

StillMedusa · 15/09/2021 00:39

And it gets harder every day.
Bloody Covid.
He went to Australia, so happy to finally have the visa to be with his lovely partner, 3 weeks before Covid hit. It was hard seeing him go, but knowing we were only 24 hours on a plane away, made it bearable.
Then Covid.
Since then he has missed becoming an uncle, and last weekend we listened to his voice singing his latest song (he's a musician), as his sister walked down the isle and a little piece of me broke.
I know we are lucky, we haven't lost anyone in our family. But I haven't hugged my son in 18m, and I doubt we will see him for a long time yet.
I miss him so badly and I know he is missing us so much too.
It sucks.

OP posts:

GADDay · 15/09/2021 12:59

@EmeraldRaine

Someone i know was in his 30s and he died of covid last year leaving young children and his wife. i know another person who is dying at a young age of cancer that was not diagnosed in time due to covid. again leaving her child without a mother. I don't care if I am being "unkind". Be grateful that you've still got your loved ones even if they're far away (due to their own choices).

I'd like to consider my son more than a someone.

You clearly have no clue

JassyRadlett · 15/09/2021 13:03

Maybe best just to ignore the attention-seeking empathy voids.

(I know I fell into the trap of replying but they're clearly just out to provoke a reaction...)

AG1981 · 15/09/2021 13:05

My brother lives in NZ. Haven't seen him for very nearly two years. My first nephew was 9 months and is now 2 and my second nephew has been born and haven't met me or even their Granny (my Mum). It's very sad. I feel for everyone in the same position x

MimiDaisy11 · 15/09/2021 13:09

I can relate. My sibling is in Australia and became an aunt for the first time and hasn’t met her nephew yet. It’s been 2 years since I saw her in person. I’m due to get married next year so hopefully she’ll be able to come for that.

SmellsLikeMiddleAgeSpirit · 15/09/2021 13:11

Another one here in this sad boat.

My oldest DD left for NZ before pandemic struck (planned a while in advance) just to travel, work, have fun... she’s still there and hasn’t been able to come back to visit as they’d not let her back in again. and as she’s not been able to do everything she’d planned, so is not ready to leave for good.

It’s tough, but on the plus side, she’s having an amazing time and has a nice kiwi boyfriend now. She’s even picking up the accent! (e.g. “worra” for water!) So she’s happy, and I’m happy for her, and that the most important thing. I do so miss her, though!

Strength and best wishes to all those missing a distant loved one.

MossyBottom · 15/09/2021 13:18

Our parents loved us dearly and missed us but were busy in their everyday lives
You have no idea how much they hurt. Of course they wouldn't tell you because that's part of parenting. Letting your child go to follow their dreams with your blessing and a smile. Whether that means off to uni , to work miles away from home or to live the other side of the world.

My aunt went to Australia in the 1960s and her mother, my grandmother didn't see her again for 30 years. It was the saddest thing in her life but my aunt had no clue.

OP you have my sympathy . I had a difficult time last year and didn't hug either of my children for a year. But at least I saw them and it's not a patch on what you have missed.

Biscoffee · 15/09/2021 13:21

@EmeraldRaine

Yeah but he's still alive, not like plenty of people's relatives thanks to covid. You can phone him, face time him, exchange videos. He made the choice to go to Australia, even without covid there's a chance he's not going to make it back for family events anyway. That's the reality of someone choosing to go and live on the other side of the world. Be angry at him if you need to be angry at someone. I think you need some perspective here.

Jeezo. Aren’t you a ray of sunshine.

People are allowed to miss others and they don’t have to be grateful no one has died either.

Ozanj · 15/09/2021 13:22

It’s so difficult. DH hadn’t seen his family in India for 10 years before we got pregnant because we have always been undergoing IVF and so had to limit all travel. She even tried to visit us but needs travel assistance which airlines aren’t willing to provide due to her conditions. We Couldn’t go when I finally fell pregnant as I was considered higher risk. And then just as we were planning our trip (a few weeks after DS was born ) Covid hit.

Mil is distraught. She understandably wants to meet DH and DS but is so high risk it just isn’t possible. And she isn’t well enough to isolate to attempt the trip herself. So it’s just a matter of waiting. We try to call frequently so she can talk to DS but I think that often makes her feel worse.

JustMoved123 · 15/09/2021 13:26

@HoppingPavlova - I think the difference is that we came here ONLY because we needed to be able to get home, there is no way I would have moved here under the circumstances that you did. It’s different for us all and it so very hard - I miss the hugs and I miss their ‘smell’ and I, like the OP just desperately miss them and being nearby to help them wherever I can. It really hurts me

tintodeverano2 · 15/09/2021 13:34

I haven't seen my mum since October last year. Everyday it hurts. And I'll never see her again.

For most of you, you know at least you will get to see your loved ones alive again. I don't have that chance.

MrsAvocet · 15/09/2021 13:39

Good grief. Some of these comments are horrible.
It is possible to empathise with other people's situations, be relieved about the positive aspects of your own but still feel sad about the negatives you know.
I wonder if these posters woukd be happy if they were denied pain relief and care for their injuries if they broke their leg. After all there are people with 2 broken legs or multiple other injuries - you should be grateful that you're not in their position and just get on with things!
The fact that other people have things worse doesn't stop pain. Have we reached the point where we are only allowed to empathise with those jn the very worst situations? And who adjudicates on what is "worthy" pain?
I hope yiu get to see yoyr son soon OP, it's a sad situation for you all.

allfurcoatnoknickers · 15/09/2021 13:41

Same here, I'm in the US and last saw my parents and my best friend in Summer 2019. I last went back to the UK in September 2018 . My DS was 2 in June, my parents last saw him when he was 3 weeks old and since then my Mum has had a massive stroke and is almost completely incapacitated. She'll never get to enjoy him and it's heartbreaking.

It's sad and exhausting and generally rubbish. Sympathy and solidarity.

BootsScootsAndToots · 15/09/2021 13:45

By some amazingly good fortune I moved home to Australia in late 2018 after 10 years in the UK.

I honestly thank my lucky stars most days.

But the flip to me being near my family in my home country is that dh is a long way from his and doesn't know when he'll see them again 😕

We are hopeful June 2022 will be the date, only 2 years later than originally planned and 4 years since he would have seen his family.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/09/2021 13:48

@tintodeverano2

I haven't seen my mum since October last year. Everyday it hurts. And I'll never see her again.

For most of you, you know at least you will get to see your loved ones alive again. I don't have that chance.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I am not one of the "most of you" - I do not know if I will ever get to see my father again, face to face. It hurts me too.

countrygirl99 · 15/09/2021 14:32

@tintodeverano2

I haven't seen my mum since October last year. Everyday it hurts. And I'll never see her again.

For most of you, you know at least you will get to see your loved ones alive again. I don't have that chance.

I don't know if I will ever see my dad again - 94, extremely frail and hospital visits not allowed. But I still miss my son.

Enko · 15/09/2021 17:48

@EmeraldRaine following that logic of people dying to early

You are basic saying that my husband can miss his brother who was killed age 19 my friend can miss her husband who had a heart attack age 36.

But those of us who have living relatives we can't get to see for different reasons have no right to miss them?

Cant you see how screwed up that idea is?

We love and we want to be with the people we love. This doesn't mean we are not happy they are safe and thriving it means we are human and capable of feeling many emotions.

However unlike you I DO care if I am "unkind" to me kindness is what makes us the most humanly possible and I rate it highly.

I feel very sorry for you if you so not get that.

Also I still miss my dd and long to wrap my arms round her to hug her and your view im meant to just be grateful doesnt change that...

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