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Original poster

Just dropped off DD at school and feel awful

112 replies

ponderingthisthing · 13/09/2021 08:58

DD started reception last week and has done really well esp. given that she's naturally very shy.

She wanted two plaits this morning so I did them. She then pulled them off when she was in the car (think she complained that the hair bands were too tight) which really annoyed me, since by this time we were already in a hurry. So when we got to school I told her we didn't have time to do her plaits again (which is true, though we may have made it in the nick of time had I swifter fingers) and just did a quick tie back. She was a bit upset by this. She then complained of being cold (I didn't put a jumper on her as she has eczema prone skin so is best kept cool, I thought if she had a jumper on she might forget to take it off when it gets hot). She went in without tears but I can tell she's not happy.

I just felt like an awful parent when I left for a) being cross with her for pulling off her plaits b) not trying to give her a plait at the school gates c) sending her in without a jumper.

I know these all seem minor but I keep worrying that this doesn't set her off for a good start for the school day and she'll be upset. Obviously lesson learnt that I should leave more time for the morning school run so that we have enough time for emergencies!!

OP posts:

Moonwatcher1234 · 13/09/2021 11:57

Don’t worry OP, days like this do happen. Had one this morning where I didn’t realise my son wasn’t allowed to wear goggles to swimming lessons and had to track down the head teacher for special permission whilst my son was getting a bit anxious about it all and went into his classroom without knowing whether he would be allowed or not. However, I’ve been a school mum for enough years now to know the kids are generally resilient and it will play on your mind more than theirs. They see their friends and just get on with their day…I promise!

Booknooks · 13/09/2021 12:00

I'm sure she will be fine, perhaps she won't pull the plaits out in future in the car! I'd pack a jumper though to send her in with, it might be warm indoors but I expect it might be chilly in the playground. I have eczema too and it's not good to get really sweaty but I have never heard of keeping cold in case

Ribblechips · 13/09/2021 12:01

@MrsRobbieHart

OP you are giving yourself an absolute hiding over nothing!

Please stop beating yourself. Life gives us enough of a kicking, you don’t need to make up reasons to do it to yourself.

Yours, mother of teens

^ Absolutely this (from another mother of teens

)

I'd be a bit annoyed about the plaits so it's natural consequences if you don't have time to re-do them. And you didn't give her a jumper for the best of reasons. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. Be confident in your decisions op and model that to your DD! Bit of a generalisation but mostly, if you are not anxious, then she won't be! And once your DD settles at school she will be distracted by everything that is going on around her and won't give her hair or her jumper a second thought!

Treat yourself to a nice hot drink op and try not to worry

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theleafandnotthetree · 13/09/2021 12:03

Seems like a lot of fuss and hand-wringing and self flagellating over very little in my view.

HSHorror · 13/09/2021 12:06

I agree about bookbags. I put up with it for 6m incl lockdown) for dc2 then switched to a rucksack. So much better all round. She has coat, hat, book and pen and water bottle on the side. Space for her jumper and art. Instead of the bookbag which opens has to be held cant have water bottle. cant fit coat etc.
Iwouldnt have a handbag to carry by hand. Why would i want a bookbag. Also much better for kids sorting their own stuff and not losing jumoers and hats etc

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/09/2021 12:17

@theleafandnotthetree

Seems like a lot of fuss and hand-wringing and self flagellating over very little in my view.

Agreed. I understand the OP is new to all this and little things seem big. However, when you are more experienced (older children/grandparent) or a teacher and seen it all before, it's easier to get things more in proportion.

CaptainMyCaptain · 13/09/2021 12:19

@HSHorror

I agree about bookbags. I put up with it for 6m incl lockdown) for dc2 then switched to a rucksack. So much better all round. She has coat, hat, book and pen and water bottle on the side. Space for her jumper and art. Instead of the bookbag which opens has to be held cant have water bottle. cant fit coat etc. Iwouldnt have a handbag to carry by hand. Why would i want a bookbag. Also much better for kids sorting their own stuff and not losing jumoers and hats etc

If the teacher puts all the same sized book bags in a box with all the name tags in the right place a ruck sack causes havoc with the system and wastes valuable time. But, whatever, I'm retired and I don't have to deal with it any more.

NewlyGranny · 13/09/2021 12:23

My prediction is that she will have forgotten any upset within about 90 seconds of your departure. School is such a stimulating and exciting environment for a child of her age!

I remember have to leave my just 5 yo DD - the youngest child in the school! - in a classroom of 29 other children and a teacher none of who she had ever seen or met before, in a school she had never visited in a country we had just arrived in. At least they spoke the same language, but in a weird accent. I left her in tears because I was going to work, too. Later the teacher told me she cried for about 30 seconds and then started making friends. Within a fortnight she had the accent and 29 friends.

INeedNewShoes · 13/09/2021 12:48

I'm one of those parents who can't get it right on school mornings. After that hot spell last week I got caught out by the weather changing and DD went on Friday without a coat despite a sky full of black clouds.

One day last week turned up to see that all the other kids were in their PE kits. Still haven't worked out why as the letter specifically says they should keep their kit at school and get changed after lunch for PE.

I'm hoping DD will very shortly realise she's best off looking after herself in terms of what she needs each day!

If I'd done plaits in DD's hair and she took them out, not a cat in hell's chance I'd redo them.

I think you're beating yourself up too much OP.

FWIW I've bought a thin cardi in the right colour for DD to keep in her book bag so that she always has another layer if necessary.

Original poster

ponderingthisthing · 13/09/2021 20:07

Update: she came out of school very happy today! I asked if she got cold, she said no (to be honest it became a lot warmer during the day).

Thanks again for all your reassurances, really cheered me up when I was doubting myself. Mission: having an earlier start tomorrow morning so we won't be in such a hurry!

OP posts:

ItWearsTheBatteriesOut · 13/09/2021 20:47

Ponder you are doing great, remember that even swans are paddling furiously underneath the water.

tiredoftiers · 13/09/2021 21:31

@ponderingthisthing

Update: she came out of school very happy today! I asked if she got cold, she said no (to be honest it became a lot warmer during the day).

Thanks again for all your reassurances, really cheered me up when I was doubting myself. Mission: having an earlier start tomorrow morning so we won't be in such a hurry!

I'm glad, it's always the way. You feel rubbish, and they are quite happy all day!

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