I have a work presentation tomorrow and I can’t go

[UseHerName]

I’m too nervous. I just can’t do it. The slide deck is done and I know my stuff but i can’t do it.

Ive got form for this but it hasn’t happened in years. Ive travelled miles to presentations and then not turned up.

How can I explain this to my manager?

If I could find another job I would, but I cant.

Has anyone any advice?

My dad is in hospital currently and although not critical, I’m still worried, my daughter is also coughing her head off (but neg pcr). I just want to hide in an office and run my reports until I retire.

If that helps at all, didn’t wanna drip feed

If you know you just can't do it, act now. Get someone to cover, if possible, or straight up cancel it.

Once that is done, you can figure out what to do next, but deal with the immediate issue and get the weight off your mind

How many people are you presenting to?

I generally find resentment a stupid vain emotion.

However, when it comes to public speaking, a grumpy resentful attitude calms my nerves a lot. "How dare they ask me to do this!" and "Well if I'm crap it's YOUR fault for asking me to speak" "The world sucks that I have to do this crap" etc.

Since you probably can't get into a better mental space instantly, probably best to tell your manager ASAP so they can have a different plan for the material you had to present. "I'm having an attack of nerves" I suppose is what you tell them.

Sorry OP. I can’t help but I can sympathise! The only time I’ve ever not felt horrifically nervous is when I knew all of the people in the meeting well.

I hope someone will be along soon to help you.

That’s very practical Buffy - I think I need betablockers or something medium term. And a new job that doesn’t require this sort of thing

Ah no. Imposter syndrome strikes again. My first advice is, you’ve got this. You’ve done the hard work already, you said it yourself, you know your stuff. Now you need to be brave. Think how proud of yourself you will be this time tomorrow.

Agnes, it’s 19 senior managers and all of the board of directors, about 25 in total. It’s ruined my weekend and I’ve been ill all weekend because of it.

Can you ask work to send you on a presentation skills course? I know that doesn't help immediately but if this is part of your job you'll need to do long term and you can't get out of it in future you need some support.
The course really helped me as I was TERRIFIED of standing up in front of people, after the course I managed to present for an hour to 400 people.

@lljkk that is me when cleaning my house! 'how dare they expect me to do all this!' etc. Gets the job done

Can totally relate

If I was you I would not go

But you may feel so much better if you go and do it??

Poor you
No way could I ever again get up and do a presentation

Been there done that
No more

What will happen if you don’t do it?

Are they likely to be a friendly bunch?

If you drop out now that just reinforces the anxiety and will make it even harder to overcome next time.

Have a printout of the first sentence for every single slide in your hand.
Read that sentence verbatim and the rest will come to you.

If you do grind to a halt, revert back to the methodology and objective of whatever was done to obtain the data in that slide. Your logical brain will take over and you'll find your way back.

If all else fails, say 'can you give me a minute', refer back to your notes and collect yourself.

We've all been there at some point!

I really hate public speaking, it’s not my strength and I have to do it occasionally with my job and it makes me miserable. I guess the way I’d approach it is a sort of “who cares” attitude. You’ve mentioned a couple of times trying to get a different job, so if the presentation goes terribly, what’s the worst that could happen? You are thinking of leaving anyway, just give it a go and then look for a different job if it’s a disaster (but I think you’ll surprise yourself!)

Oh I am also presenting tomorrow! Would it help if we support each other through it?

It helps me to Imagine that people are hardly paying attention and zone out after 5 minutes.
I tend to ask lots of questions from the audience and get some participation of I'm feeling nervous as it relaxes the 'mood' and makes it feel more like a big conversation rather than a presentation.

Is there any way you could just be open and say right at the start “I don’t know why but I’m really nervous about this!!”..? Chances are people will say supportive things/reassure you/you’ll get sympathetic smiles at the very least and you’ll feel better. I really sympathise, for some reason I used to be able to do this stuff really easily, hundreds of people never fazed me - but the older I’ve got the harder it’s become. But no-one much likes doing it and so I think people are generally really sympathetic if you just come out and admit that you’re nervous, and it’s a weight off your shoulders because part of the stress is caused by trying to hide your nerves. Maybe say something like you’re out of practice since lockdown, or something else that you’d be comfortable with?

All the big brass?

Definitely the perfect lot to cultivate a seething mock-polite fully professional veneer but undercurrent of sharp and temporary "everybody struggles not to hate you all, you're such performative useless twats" attitude into your talk. You could not pick a better audience for cultivating constructive grumpiness at.

If you ever freeze up I tend to say.... can you read through this slide, what thoughts come to mind? And that gives me a chance to catch my breath.
I do quite bit of public speaking and I don't love it but i do have lots of techniques to get me though.

Yeah it is imposter a bit. Ive been told I’m a natural public speaker before, sometimes I just can’t. It’s happened more than once, once when I was 16 and again when I was 23.

Social shame if I don’t do it Cornish, someone else will have to pick up the slack. They are not a friendly bunch,no.

I don’t even think the righteous indignation strategy would get me through it 🤣

Honestly I can almost guarantee that once you start it you’ll calm and be completely fine. You’ve already said the decks are done and you know your stuff. You’ve delivered presentations before so you have everything you need and when you have done it you’ll feel relieved you did so. Take confidence that you can do this and the build up is just a moment in time.

With all the technology around these days, surely there is a way to record the presentation, play it back and be "live" for Q+As either online or in person.

Anyway I have always found that most people in the audience are on your side, and hoping/wishing that you do well.

Presentations and public speaking are difficult, I spent most of my career doing them, and never lost the nerves. But I got used to it eventually.

"If you drop out now that just reinforces the anxiety and will make it even harder to overcome next time."

This. Avoidance feeds anxiety - to break the cycle you need to push yourself to do it (I know, I have anxiety too).

Is it an online presentation? In which case it's easier to pretend nobody else is there and you're just reading to yourself!

You could try rescue remedy, if you haven't before. People say it works.

No it’s in person with a workshop after that I’m chairing

@lljkk 🤣 best approach yet