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Original poster

I have a work presentation tomorrow and I can’t go

108 replies

UseHerName · 12/09/2021 21:48

I’m too nervous. I just can’t do it. The slide deck is done and I know my stuff but i can’t do it.

Ive got form for this but it hasn’t happened in years. Ive travelled miles to presentations and then not turned up.

How can I explain this to my manager?

If I could find another job I would, but I cant.

Has anyone any advice?

OP posts:
Ugzbugz · 13/09/2021 02:56

My worst nightmare to and then someone said to me don't worry no one will be listening anyway and lo and behold they wasn't so spoke then zoned out myself.

Be loud and proud. An hour later no one will remember or care or judge.

Queenie6655 · 13/09/2021 08:30

OP wishing you loads of luck these responses are so so useful for everyone who has felt this way xxx

Hooplawho · 13/09/2021 08:34

Good luck OP - you’ll be ace, power poses in the loo before hand 💪 it’ll all be over soon and you’ll feel great once it’s done

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Starcar · 13/09/2021 08:55

I am a lawyer so lots of formal/public speaking in stressful, changing situations. Court is a performance really for lawyers. I have to pretend to be a calm, in control person. I would never say I’m nervous at the start in court or when giving a presentation etc because it’s not relevant or professional. Also it would signal to the audience that I don’t have control of the situation and a lot of the nervousness side effects that they wouldn’t notice, would become noticeable. Do a verbatim note if necessary. I would find this very distracting normally so perhaps also do a sort of flowchart/key points note in case you lose the nerves when you get started (which you will!) A verbatim note might give you confidence and means if nothing else you are there and get the job done. Honestly very few people are great speakers. Just turn up on time, dress correctly for the occasion, try to make it sound like you’re not reading, make eye contact regularly. Better to be reliable if not spectacular than not show up at last min. And it’ll all be over soon enough.

CaledonianSleeper · 13/09/2021 09:17

I absolutely take the point about not admitting to nerves in a courtroom situation, especially where opponents are present. But the OP’s situation isn’t supposed to be adversarial, she’s presenting to her colleagues (albeit possibly more senior) who work for the same organisation, so they all want (or should want) the OP to do her best. It’s not supposed to be a trial for her or anyone present. If someone in my organisation, especially someone less senior, was feeling like this I’d want to know so I could help, and so the meeting got the best info we could without the presenter being absolutely miserable to the extent she’s thinking of leaving.

lljkk · 13/09/2021 09:30

Come to think of it, the only types of public speaker that annoy me are mono-toners or speak too fast in non-native-English-speaker accents so I don't know what they said. I suppose shouters are a bit wearing, too. I'm not keen on people who just read off slides, but I suppose that gives me time to think.

Everyone else, including shakes, bit of mumbling, high pitched, repetitive... is all fine & forgiveable. It can take huge talent to be a truly hopeless public speaker.

Nydj · 13/09/2021 13:09

Another one who found presentations very stressful and was told that ‘I was a natural’. I used to be really ill and lose my voice when I had to do a presentation.

Things that helped:

  • writing out exactly what I was going to say (a script) going through it and then highlighting main points. This helped overcome my fear of blanking out on stage. I never stuck to the script but it helped to know it was there.
  • introducing light humour if the opportunity arose. E.g. before an important point, asking people who had zoned out to pay attention as the next bit is extra important. Sort of acknowledging that some people may have zoned out helped me.
  • focusing on after the event. As others have said, just thinking that in a week, two days, two hours time etc, it will be over.
  • telling myself that if I make a hash of it, the worst thing that would happen is that I wouldn’t be asked to present again which, in my books would be a win!
Ssmiler · 13/09/2021 13:21

This advice may be too late for this particular situation but I had a team member who confided in me that she was exactly the same - highly competent, good communicator, knew her stuff but just couldn’t present because of nerves.
We decided that for each presentation she would do, it would be advertised as being both her and me doing it. We would both be ready to do some or all of it.
So the plan was that she would do it but we had an agreed signal for me to take over - or for her to take over if I started and she felt ready to step in.
So if she couldn’t start, I did. If she felt ready to step in, she did, even if only for one slide. Knowing that she could start or stop at any time gave her the confidence to ultimately be able to do the entire thing.
This is how we got her over her presenting nerves as it was the only thing holding her back from promotion.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 13/09/2021 18:39

How did it go op?

AgnesNaismith · 13/09/2021 19:03

@Ssmiler argh, I need a manager like you!! Brilliant work. Did she get her promotion?

Also how did it go?

Lovely234 · 13/09/2021 19:13

How did it go OP? You’ve been on my mind today as I realised I so often feel the same

Teenagetrouble · 13/09/2021 21:41

@Ssmiler what a lovely manager you sound.

FlowerArranger · 13/09/2021 22:53

@UseHerName1 - I'm sure everyone is hoping you're too busy celebrating... Wink

CarbsAreNotMyFriend · 15/09/2021 18:29

How did it go? @UseHerName x

Original poster
UseHerName · 15/09/2021 21:24

I didn’t go 😔 I was honest and told my manager why I couldn’t. Currently medicating with Prozac 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
UseHerName · 15/09/2021 21:25

You were all very supportive though - mumsnet at its finest

OP posts:
Cyanchicken · 15/09/2021 21:26

Beta blockers - the only thing that has resolved this for me. I am very careful not to do it too well as I still hate doing presentations but the odd time I have to do them now it's ok.

Gormless · 15/09/2021 21:36

Huge sympathy from me OP. Being able to present regularly to large groups is part of my job. I was fine- until one day I unexpectedly had a panic attack mid-way through. I’ve had to work so hard to get past that (it was 18 years ago!) and the nerves still dog me. I have various techniques including deep breathing and focusing on just one or two faces in the audiences; hypnotherapy also helped me actually. But it is so hard, OP; I totally get it, and sometimes when other things in life are stressful too it can make public speaking just feel impossible.

Cyanchicken · 15/09/2021 21:36

Ah sorry OP just saw your update. I have opted out many's the time - sometimes you are just not mentally strong enough especially if you have stress in your personal life too. I hope the Prozac works well for you. Best of luck.

oishidesne · 15/09/2021 21:42

I get nerves before a presentation and always at first feel like cancelling but I end up presenting...
Here are some tips.
1.do a power pose before the presentation to get ur energy up and confidence up.

  1. Have your starting paragraph perfected. As once you are off to a good start, things just flow.
  2. Ask questions to the audience. Makes presenting so much easier when you build quick rapport.

Good luck

ArianaG · 15/09/2021 21:44

I empathise OP, I couldn't do it either. I even used to get so stressed and anxious about chairing important meetings.

I took beta blockers but they didn't help at all, they only help with physical symptoms and my anxiety was all in my head if that makes sense rather than presenting as physical symptoms.

Citalopram helped a bit but I did change jobs because of it.

I hope you manager was understanding.

HalzTangz · 15/09/2021 21:56

If the meeting is tomorrow with directors and senior managers then you are better to go and give it a shot. I doubt they will be impressed at a no show.
If you really can't do it see if your manager can step in and present with you (I find it easier to present as a pair rather than alone)

MinesAPintOfTea · 15/09/2021 21:57

Sympathy OP - it’s really tough.

Hopefully the Prozac helps a bit. And if your role means you have to present, ask your manager if you can build up slowly from tame audiences, with backup.

amter · 15/09/2021 22:08

Sorry OP, but just wanted to let you know I understand. I have a senior role in a large organisation and have presented many times over 20 years. This year for some reason I have started to panic, I can't get myself together and can't breathe or speak properly. I understand how you feel.

Lovely234 · 15/09/2021 22:08

Ah hope you’re ok, I’ve been thinking of you this week. I have a job where I present a lot, when life is stressful it’s so much harder to keep nerves in check. I hope your manager was kind x