I have a work presentation tomorrow and I can’t go

[UseHerName]

I’m too nervous. I just can’t do it. The slide deck is done and I know my stuff but i can’t do it.

Ive got form for this but it hasn’t happened in years. Ive travelled miles to presentations and then not turned up.

How can I explain this to my manager?

If I could find another job I would, but I cant.

Has anyone any advice?

Suppose the worst happens: you freeze up, they can’t hear you, you stumble or stutter. Shit happens. No one died. You can stop and start again.

You don’t like these people and don’t socialise with them. They’re not particularly pleasant. So say “fuck em”. You’re going to leave this job anyway one day (hopefully soon!) so who cares how good your presentation is? Just do it, and promise yourself a reward afterwards (a tasty treat? New item of clothing? Book a trip away?).

Don’t listen to the people saying don’t go. Every time you capitulate to anxiety, it takes a stronger hold.

Remember: panic attacks cannot kill you. They make you feel like shit but they are just a heightened stress response.

Communicate what you need to and do your best to remind yourself that these people are irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. They aren’t family or friends. It’s just another day, and another report that needs to be described to people who don’t know as much as you about the topic at hand.

I think I’d be less likely to be nervous if it was online Susannah

Thanks all for the encouragement!

You can do it, OP! If I were you, i would put together a ritual to go through tomorrow (not like burning herbs, but planning what you will have for breakfast etc etc) and then go and kill it in your presentation.

Longer term, perhaps you should change jobs? The idea that you will may also help you get through the presentation - who cares if you're leaving?

Best of luck op.

My friend asked me to do a reading at her wedding and l said no because l knew l would dread the wedding for the year leading up to it. Felt bad but just couldn't do it .
Really wish l could have done because l am usually a confident person.
I think so long as you know what you are talking about, don't speak too quickly and try to make eye contact with people, you will sail through xx

Can you get an emergency appointment with a doc? What time is the presentation?

I've been here!! I felt sick all morning and my legs literally shook as I walked up but after the first minute you really will get into it if you know your stuff. I hope you go for it OP I bet you can! Xx

I feel for you. It sounds like awful anxiety.

2 practical tips -

1. Think about talking to Dr about sertraline

1. Listen to 'How to Own the Room' podcast by Viv Groskop - great interviews with advice and insight.

Xx

Don't start by saying "I'm nervous" like some posters said.
This is telling yourself you are nervous! It will make you worse. People won't be noticing how nervous you are. You don't need to reinforce this in your own mind.
If you need to start with an introduction just say "Hi, my name is X, and I'm going to talk to you about Y. Let me know if you have any questions."
Take a deep breath and keep going.

You can do this!
Start with one slide. At the end of the slide, give yourself some breathing space by stopping, looking around, and asking if anyone has any questions so far.
Then keep going.
Just think how proud of yourself you will be when you are finished.
Just remember that you have done all of the prep and YOU are the expert here. Don't let anyone else do the presentation and steal your thunder.

Vodka. Good luck

Think how good you will feel once it’s over

Vodka 🤣 I did contemplate that on Saturday night would you believe, but I have to drive there, and I’m not much of a drinker 🤢🤣

It’s a good point that if I’m going to leave I should just do the presentation 🤷‍♀️

@OakPine

Don't start by saying "I'm nervous" like some posters said. This is telling yourself you are nervous! It will make you worse. People won't be noticing how nervous you are. You don't need to reinforce this in your own mind. If you need to start with an introduction just say "Hi, my name is X, and I'm going to talk to you about Y. Let me know if you have any questions." Take a deep breath and keep going.

You can do this!
Start with one slide. At the end of the slide, give yourself some breathing space by stopping, looking around, and asking if anyone has any questions so far.
Then keep going.
Just think how proud of yourself you will be when you are finished.
Just remember that you have done all of the prep and YOU are the expert here. Don't let anyone else do the presentation and steal your thunder.

I think you have to do whatever is right for you! When I stated I was nervous, it calmed me down. Helped me to catch my breath a little

Totally agree with the other poster saying to open with explaining you’re a bit nervous. A lot of people after wfh during covid would feel nervous presenting face to face to lots of people. I think you’ll receive a lot more empathy than you think if you just clear the air and say you’re nervous!

@minimilkmaestro

Start the presentation by giving yourself some breathing room. Say your father has been in hospital and you haven't been able to get as prepared as you would like, so appreciate their patience if things don't flow (and feel free to say you need to take a moment and pause during it).

Line up a colleague to take over if you feel you can't continue. Just tell them you're not in a good head space - for the reasons you mention.

Just think about one step at a time during the day. Getting to the venue, you can do. Finding the meeting room, you can do. Etcetera. Each step is one step towards the end.

Go easy on yourself.

I would do this too. Good luck!

Hey OP I have a BIG presentation to do tomorrow too. I do lots and I still feel massive anxiety. I just force myself to do them time and time again. I don't give myself an "out". I KNOW I can do them and I'd feel like I'd have let myself down awfully if I backed out. You CAN do this. You CAN.

I do loads of presentations/public speaking. I actually enjoy it….

Every single time, I’m where you are now. I think up reasons why I can’t do it. When I get there, I have such an upset stomach I worry I’ll not be able to leave the loo. I will sit on the podium trying to work out the escape route, and seriously consider pretending to faint. And then it’s my turn and after the first couple of sentences, I settle in and really enjoy it. Fantastic feeling when I’m finished. I can be on a high for days.

Practical tips - slow deep breathing really helps keep the heart rate down. Repeat to yourself “I’m calm, I’m confident, I’m in control”
You obviously know your stuff - otherwise you wouldn’t be tasked with doing this. And you’ve already done the hard work in the prep.
Before you start, look at the audience and smile. That relaxes everyone and gives you a few seconds to calibrate your thoughts with words.
Honestly, any stumbles, pauses, will go unnoticed by the audience.
If you do lose your thread - throw a question at the audience “Is this making sense?”

Feel the fear, do it anyway! (Great book by Susan Jeffers, well worth a read) Best of luck tomorrow!

Envisage the last 30 seconds of your presentation. What you'll be saying, how you'll feel, people applauding perhaps, shutting your laptop and walking away. Where will you go then? Take a seat at a table or leave the room? Playing it through in your mind in detail can really help you to focus on the end, rather than focusing on the beginning which is what our minds tend to do. It helps you to realise this thing will end and what it is you're aiming for.

Also remember anticipation is 100 times worse than the actual thing. Literally the worst part is now. If you can get through now then you can get through tomorrow.

Go get em!

I have a phobia to public speaking, literally a phobia and I've had it since school so the best part of 20+ years. I've been sent on courses and done therapy to try and combat it but nothing works.

I was asked to do a 2 minute talk to around 20 people a couple of years ago and emailed my boss offering my resignation such was my fear. I have a mortgage and other responsibilities so you can see how irrational it makes me. Fortunately my boss got me out of the presentation but now with the return to the office on the cards and a new manager I fear I'm going to have to go through it all again.

Sorry I can't help op but perhaps explaining to your manager how you feel might help.

I’m a lecturer so this is my job, but sometimes I still feel really nervous, especially with a new group of students! I also have students present to me, and these are my top tips for them:

Do a trial run and time yourself in front of a mirror - if you need to speak for eg 15 minutes, aim to talk for about 17 minutes in the test, because you will speed up if you are nervous

Wear something that makes you feel absolutely fabulous - even if it is lovely perfume

Use flash cards if you have to - I tell students to keep text on slides to a minimum and have postcards with notes if that helps

Rescue Remedy drops on your tongue, or rubbing some lavender oil round your nose really helps

Have a “reward” lined up for afterwards. Coffee and cake in a nice cafe, something really tasty for dinner, buying a bunch of flowers on the way home, ordering that thing you really fancy online

I don’t say this to students, but I know it is true - a lot of people won’t really listen to or remember anything about what you say. They will be thinking about what they are having for lunch, the hot guy they met at the weekend, whether their DC has their swimming kit in their school bag, or what is going to happen in that evening’s Corrie.

Prior to being a lecturer I worked in TV (not on camera) and there was a saying “it’s only TV, no-one actually died” when stuff went wrong on a live. This is the same. I sat in an online training the other day where the trainer’s washing machine was so loud no-one could hear him. My cat has joined numerous live remote lectures either by squawking at birds outside the window, or scrambling onto my lap. No-one expects things to be perfect!

Print off your script really large for first 2 slides , once you get past them you will be fine.
I agree with sitting down , why not if you are able to. Less pressure
You will be fine

I second the tip about making flash cards (use postcards or smaller) with a few key words, one for each slide, or alternatively print out the presentation in handout form and write a few words next to each slide.

If I have to do much of an introduction (such as housekeeping points, description of the rest of the day, etc.) I find that it's useful to note all this down too, and sometimes some chatty final comments for the last slide.

I've found these methods easier that using the notes page on PowerPoint. I'd also avoid having too much on each slide or reading out each one, as this makes it quite dull. Pictures can lighten the presentation an provide a useful distraction.

I've got two lots of public speaking coming up in the next fortnight and all these tips are great, thank you everyone 🥰

@hayley037 please do try beta blockers (propanalol). I was exactly the same but these really work.

Very helpful responses. I've copied for dd who's just starting out on an academic career and gets very anxious about presenting. Due to lockdown I've heard her and she's really good but doesn't feel she is. It's quite frustrating!

OP I'll bet you are very good too

I’ve been doing public speaking of all kinds for work for over 30 years. Still get nervous every time but remind myself that nerves are just the body’s way of getting me ready to do the thing - the adrenaline heightens mental acuity.

I write out what I’m going to say in full (as well as the slides). I don’t read it out, but I know that if I have a brain freeze I can just go to my notes and read the next bit - that’s always enough to get me back on track.

And, most importantly, what others have said - I guarantee that no one in the audience will care a fraction as much about your performance as you do! They’ll all be thinking about other things and wondering if anyone else noticed that they’d glazed over and missed the last thing you said…