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Original poster

I have a work presentation tomorrow and I can’t go

108 replies

UseHerName · 12/09/2021 21:48

I’m too nervous. I just can’t do it. The slide deck is done and I know my stuff but i can’t do it.

Ive got form for this but it hasn’t happened in years. Ive travelled miles to presentations and then not turned up.

How can I explain this to my manager?

If I could find another job I would, but I cant.

Has anyone any advice?

OP posts:
AmaryllisNightAndDay · 12/09/2021 22:10

I hate doing presentations and they stress me out. The thing that helps me is to think, I have something to tell these people that they need to know and want to know. So it doesn't matter if I make mistakes or forget things, or freeze for a few seconds, they'll get the general idea and if they want to know more they can ask.

The other thing is that the more nervous and totally stressed I feel beforehand, the bigger the adrenaline high I get at the time. Grin

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

mineofuselessinformation · 12/09/2021 22:11

Maybe not so helpful for now, but if it's PowerPoint, ask for another screen. You can then extend your display, and have the notes on the screen that you can see. It really helps as you can see what's coming up, and what notes you've made for yourself on the screen that only you can see.
Having said that, I'm betting that once you get going you'll be fine.

Insertfunnyname · 12/09/2021 22:12

I agree you need beta blockers. Too late for tomorrow but get on them.

Citalopram has really helped me.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Jobs
Teenageromance · 12/09/2021 22:19

Beta blockers (propanol) will change your life. Get to the GP and ask for them - apparently most medics use them as well for presentations. It has totally changed things for me.

NinaGonk · 12/09/2021 22:20

I'm pretty sure 80% of public speakers are shitting their pants. The other 20% are psychopaths.

I have to coach myself through it. Totally over prepare. I focus on how amazing I'll feel when its over.

I feel more confident when my presentation follows a story, its easier for me to tell with just memorizing key bits from the story vs the whole script.

BeesTreesSeas · 12/09/2021 22:23

Hi OP, I feel like this a lot and I do lots of talks with work. Got two this week that I already feel nervous about! I do what one of the pp said and have either notes on a different screen if the technology allows or some notes with the first line on every slide that I can read if I get stuck. I also get nervous about being nervous (and people noticing!) so to stop my shaky voice if I am nervous, I hum a tune silently for a couple of minute before I’m up (with just my breath…prob makes no sense at all and can’t explain it any better 😂) but this seems to help! I always feel better after I’ve done a presentation too. Good luck with whatever you decide!

Queenie6655 · 12/09/2021 22:23

@isittimetogotobed

If you ever freeze up I tend to say.... can you read through this slide, what thoughts come to mind? And that gives me a chance to catch my breath. I do quite bit of public speaking and I don't love it but i do have lots of techniques to get me though.
Love this tip !!!!!!
MrsMerrick · 12/09/2021 22:23

OK...

Slides prepared, you know your stuff. Excellent.

Tomorrow, embrace your international woman of mystery side. Perhaps you are going to be Beyoncé, maybe Madonna, Judi Dench (Judi Dench as M?) or UseHerName's secret identical twin, the one who gives no fucks about doing presentations to anyone and is not impressed by titles. She can nonchalantly deliver the presentation, then hand over to you for the Q&A (you are far better than her at knowing what is actually going on!).

(There is a Matthew Syed podcast on this on BBC sounds. It is actually what Beyoncé used to do when she started performing: she felt like she couldn't do it, so went on as her alter ego Smile)

Good luck! It will go SPLENDIDLY.

MinesAPintOfTea · 12/09/2021 22:23

Is there likely to be anyone friendly in the room? Can you agree a signal with them that they will step in on?

I had an agreed signal that if I stuck a post it on my notebook my director would step in, even if just to prompt me with a question on the slide. Never actually did it, but that safety net made all the difference to my confidence.

jelly79 · 12/09/2021 22:35

This is me to an extent every time and I always feel like superwoman afterwards!!

You have done the hard work! Believe in yourself!! X

minimilkmaestro · 12/09/2021 22:42

Start the presentation by giving yourself some breathing room. Say your father has been in hospital and you haven't been able to get as prepared as you would like, so appreciate their patience if things don't flow (and feel free to say you need to take a moment and pause during it).

Line up a colleague to take over if you feel you can't continue. Just tell them you're not in a good head space - for the reasons you mention.

Just think about one step at a time during the day. Getting to the venue, you can do. Finding the meeting room, you can do. Etcetera. Each step is one step towards the end.

Go easy on yourself.

Candleabra · 12/09/2021 22:46

This time tomorrow it'll be over. Best piece of advice: really deep breaths. They'll calm you down.
You said you know your stuff so that's a million times better than loads of presentations I've done where I literally just bumbled my way through the slides.
Honestly, do it, you'll be so proud of yourself.
Don't drop it onto someone else.
It's like calling in sick for an exam....you'll have to face up to it eventually. Good luck.

Heronatemygoldfish · 12/09/2021 22:47

The thought is always worse than actually doing something. You're the expert or they wouldn't want you there. You know this. You've got this. Go girl.

Concestor · 12/09/2021 22:55

I use beta blockers now, but before I did I once had to give a talk at all event in London. As I was getting ready I fainted from anxiety. I managed to get out the door but as I walked to the station my legs were literally giving way underneath me, I must have looked drunk. I got to the event and told a trusted colleague how scared I was and said if I couldn't do it I'd give her my notes for her to. I managed to get up when announced and the talk itself went fine, I was ok and got through it.

You can do this. And then go get some beta blockers for days like this. I only take mine on bad days. They are brilliant.

Sittingonabench · 12/09/2021 22:59

The anticipation is the hardest part. Try breathing exercises before you you in and focus on your breathing until you’re up and running. Another thing I use is a touch stone type thing - a necklace that I can fiddle with and remember when I got it/who I got it from - it can distract me when I start catastrophising. It sounds like someone believes you are doing a great job and are more than capable of this if it’s a full workshop with the top brass - so even if you’re not feeling it channel their confidence. I’m sure you’ll be great. Nerves get the best of everyone at some point or another

MrsMerrick · 12/09/2021 23:01

It is evident that you have both the knowledge and the skills to do this.

I think that the imposter syndrome is making you think that being nervous equates to not being able to do it. But that's not true - nerves aren't really related to competence. We had a big industry event last week, and people were amazed that some very well-known, published experts got just as jittery beforehand!

I used to feel SO sick before presenting (still there, but now it's only occasionally that bad!) but three or four sentences in, it is always fine - and the adrenaline rush afterwards is great.

Catchthepigeons · 12/09/2021 23:03

Can you imagine being an actor? Pretend your someone else who isn't nervous? Then if it goes wrong, it's fine because it wasn't you anyway.
I'm not sure I've worded that very well but hopefully you catch my meaning

Womblesgash · 12/09/2021 23:04

You’re certainly not alone in feeling like this. Ask your GP for beta blockers so you have them for next time if you need to take them.

To take the edge of the nerves I get these are things I’ve learnt about that really help me.

-do some exercise like running before.
-avoid caffeine.
-eat foods like bananas, dark chocolate, oranges. These foods are great for anxiety and can calm you.
-read something aloud before that warms your voice up. This will help your voice sound stronger and help with pronouncing your words.
-just before you speak find somewhere quiet to go. Breathe deeply for a few minutes and also shake and stretch your body that helps with stopping the body from tensing up so much.

When you start speaking don’t talk too fast and try to smile at your audience.

Good luck

Cicicat · 12/09/2021 23:06

Couldn't agree more with beta blockers being brilliant for this. Only need to use them once in a while but they work wonders. I used to get anxiety and insomnia for weeks before but now I feel much more relaxed as I know I have them. Tried various other things, presentation courses etc and nothing else really helped me

Wineat5isfine · 12/09/2021 23:07

I can 100% empathise with your situation.

Whenever I’m in this position (and have had to present to 50+ people before) which made me actually sick with nerves…I always start the presentation with, “I’m X…I’m incredibly nervous but I’m going to do my best to take you through this presentation that I’ve worked so hard on!” I then take a moment to have some sips of water. You usually get a little laugh etc, but this works for me and settles my nerves.

I was dumped on consistently from a great height years ago - my boss was amazing, but very introverted- every time she had a big presentation coming up, she would phone in sick and I would have to step in, not knowing the slides / background etc. That was terrifying!

If you honestly don’t think that you can go through with this, then definitely alert whoever needs to be told ASAP - especially with a senior audience.

Wishing you so much with whatever you decide to do!

Candleabra · 12/09/2021 23:09

Also - Cristiano Ronaldo said he felt super nervous walking out to play for United yesterday. Happens to us all.

user7012893145776 · 12/09/2021 23:10

Sit down when you're doing your presentation. It's less stressful and makes you feel "equal" to everyone in the room.

Say you have hurt your ankle/back/foot and will need to sit down.

Add an extra slide for any questions, a brain break to digest previous slides, toilet break, etc.

Susannahmoody · 12/09/2021 23:10

I'm on the fence with this one. On one side you're paid and obviously qualified to do the job. So you should just go do it. On the other hand I totally understand your utter anxiety and inability to do it.

I'd do it online from home. You have a sick father and child. Online is the way for.

Rainallnight · 12/09/2021 23:11

I get anxious and pretty much everything except public speaking.

I kind of think of it like a conversation where I’m just doing most of the talking. Does that help at all?