What's the worst meal you've been served at a wedding?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I'm veggie so unfortunately have had my fair share of shitty wedding meals as the vegetarians often seem to get shafted but this one takes the biscuit. Fancy wedding, very expensive and exclusive venue, meat eaters had a feast and it looked amazing, I was served......a grilled mushroom, and it was cold. This place is probably £100 per head at the very least and the best they could rustle up for a vegetarian was a mushroom. So, make me feel better, what's the worst meal you've been served?
This is meant to be light hearted 🐱

The worst wedding meal I had was nothing!
Years and years ago I was invited to a wedding with my then boyfriend. It was his friend’s cousin getting married, and the whole crowd of friends was invited. Beautiful day, big house in the country with marquee in the garden…you get the picture.

What none of the friendship group knew was that they’d been specifically invited to do jobs…
One was a keen photographer so he was doing the photos,
My boyfriend was to act as MC
Another friend was on “car park” duty
Various other jobs were distributed

These guys were all kilted up, the girlfriends all in wedding finery, we’d all had “proper” invitations (Scotland so if you’re a day guest you’re there from early afternoon till the wee hours)

The first sign of there being anything amiss was when none of our names appeared in the seating plan, and no it wasn’t an error!

The guys very awkwardly spoke to the friend whose family were hosting and he very awkwardly said that his family saw them as “working” at the wedding and not guests! Why the hell had they been sent invitations I’ll never know

Everyone had drunk a couple of glasses of wine by this point so no one could even drive to a chippy….worst wedding I’ve ever been to…I don’t know if the friendship ever recovered with the mate!

@SomethingElf

I raise you Death by Potatoes.

DP's cousin got married on a boiling hot day in July (a few years back). Reception was in the stifling upstairs room of a pub.

Starter: potato wedges with various dips

Mains: chicken with both mashed potato and roast potatoes (and some boiled mixed veg)

Sara Lee gateau for pudding. Wouldn't surprise me to find it contains potato starch.

Attending a wedding where both bride and groom were vegan. They refused to serve anything but vegan food and im all for trying it, but it didn’t taste good. In fact, it was bloody awful.

I honestly think that you need to cater for everyone - even us dreadful barbaric meat eaters!!

The one that gave two thirds of the guests food poisoning...

Although it actually tasted okay at the time. The worst thing was that the venue were such dicks about all of these sick guests they had created!!

Couple still very happily married thankfully.

I often think my wedding was shit food.
It was meant to be a vintage village hall wedding but I don't feel it was executed well enough.
Basically buffet style but all on individual tables which was already laid on arrival. The saving grace was the tonne of cupcakes, scones, cream and jam as well as the pimms and ridiculous amount of wine and champagne per table.
It makes me cringe and I wonder if others thought the same on the day. I would do it differently now.

No food all day not even crisps at the bar Wedding at 11 am ate at 7 pm and then all the nice food ran out by the time we got to the buffet

@JudgeRindersMinder
That is mad!

I know a lot of people will disagree but:

Bloody beef. Poor DH (best man) and the mother of the groom looked practically green at the thought of eating it or any of the veggies swimming around in the bloody juices. The whole top table got those "best cuts". Personally I don't want to eat anything a good vet could bring back to life.

Luckily as I was at a table further away I got a bit of beef from near the end so it was just a nice edible, slightly pink for me. DH and MoG were starving!

Rural wedding abroad. Drinks were served. Eventually the meal was served. I'm a vegetarian. The vegetarian meal was fish. With a fishy sauce that was on the vegetables.
We were staying at the venue. They didn't do food. The caterers were baffled. So I ended up with some bread.

Tomato soup and chicken supreme. The ‘supreme’ was a tough chicken breast in tinned chicken soup.
The best was a Hindu wedding we went to. Amazing choice of curries and dahls. So good!

Agree with the lady that said beef. I’ve hated beef at every wedding I’ve been to! It’s either cheap & fatty, or sliced thinner than a piece of paper and chewy like a flip flop! Have a serious allergy to strawberry’s and was given a strawberry cheesecake for desert. I obviously spotted this and sent it back… only for them to send out a fruit salad laced with strawberries. Safe to say I skipped the pud!

@Wineat5isfine I don’t want to open the floodgates as I know how vegan/non vegan wedding food threads typically go, but if you’re vegan, it is usually because you want to avoid animal death and exploitation, so paying for meat for wedding guests would be an absolute no-no. That said, if you are going to have a vegan-only wedding, I think in order to get over a lot of people’s instinctive recoil, it is incumbent on you to have really tasty and delicious vegan food on offer!!

I once went to a very fancy wedding where the only vegan option they could rustle up was the starter, minus the seafood everyone else had got. It was at a very expensive members club, so everything was very beautifully if minimally presented. So I had a plate of three dressed salad leaves, a tiny pile of cubed marinated cucumber, and three different coloured piles of dehydrated something that resembled - and tasted like - dust. I got that twice, for starter and then again for the main course. My friend who was on my table is not vegan, but is allergic to seafood, so she got the same. The kicker was that we were sitting under an aircon outlet, so the dust on our plates kept blowing about. We honestly became borderline hysterical by the escaping dust that was our precious sustenance (hysteria no doubt enhanced by the lack of food and plentiful wine available)

Buffet at a wedding where the bride was 2 hours late, it was up a mountain and pissing it down. They brought out the buffet at the time they were supposed to but she still wasn't there so after 1 hour they binned most of it because it was a seafood buffet and not refrigerated. Whole salmon went in the bin, they did get married eventually but all that was left was 5 scones for 70 people. Her family fucked off and went for a meal whilst we sat it out, they eventually came back and joined in the wedding, there was booze but they ran out whilst we were waiting for food, however my DH had bought them a keg of beer for their wedding present as the groom was into beer and we owned our own pub, so we just opened up the boot and starting serving beer from the boot of the car as we had the attachments for a pump by coincidence and the favours were mugs with our names on but when they were filled with hot water the name came off so people were literally wearing their own name on the faces because people touch their face.

We were so cold and so drunk.

The 'worst' was not a damned thing. I'm Coeliac and the bride specifically asked me about catering for it, but when I got to the reception I was told that there was nothing I could eat. I was starving. So I called the nearest restaurant that was 'safe' for me and ordered a meal and went and collected it. I got china off the buffet table and plated it and ate it when everyone else was eating. My meal was better than the buffet. a few people at the table asked about it and I just said it was a 'special meal' because I had Coeliac. I didn't say it was because the bride was a bitch didn't let me know there was nothing for me to eat.

The groom was DH's best mate, they were like brothers. She was a nightmare, resented anyone who took his attention away from her, and ended up alienating all his friends and most of his family.

Prawn cocktail to start, I'm allergic to prawns and was offered boiled egg instead. On the day I was presented with a plate of lettuce no prawns or egg. Main course was a carvery, the first table had finished by the time the last table went up and the food was cold. The desert was either a very cheap cloying cheesecake with a tiny smear of barbie pink strawberry sauce on top or tinned fruit salad.
It didn't get much better in the evening, bride organized the food herself so just various battered lumps of chicken, fish and cheese - with no labels on plates, dried up pizza slices, and bowls of crisps, monster munch etc and stale peanuts.

It was definitely my fault and not theirs but I was once pretty much the only non Asian guest at a huge Asian wedding.
I felt privileged to be invited and it was a lovely experience but the food was completely inedible for me. There was a huge buffet spread but every single thing was so hot and spicy that my mouth was on fire. Everyone else was tucking in so it probably was good but just not for me
I thought I would be fine because I do like curry in restaurants, take aways etc but I guess this was a bit too authentic for my palate.
I think I wound up eating a few spoonfuls of plain rice and some raita.

Muslim wedding so no alcohol to drown my sorrows either.
I'm afraid I got so hungry that I left a bit earlier than I would have otherwise to hit up the chippy on the way back to the hotel!

A buffet.

Some inedible still half frozen pork pie. Sweet table was jelly babies and liquorice. The cake looked OK from a distance but we were expected to pay for it if we wanted a piece, in cash, which we weren't told about before, so had no cash on us and we were in the middle of nowhere.

It wasn't a low budget wedding, just the bride and groom clearly spent it all on the stately home venue, Instagram perfect decorations and photo corners, smoke and bubble machine for the first dance and fireworks. Who cares about the starving guests!

My worst wedding meal was cold tinned potatoes and cold chicken leg covered in congealed fat. That followed a starter of grapefruit (which I didn't eat). We got 1 small glass of wine to last the entire meal. It was a LONG day.

A colleague of mine went to a friends wedding reception at a local hall, starting at 5pm. Turned up, no food on display so her and her DP assumed they'd get fed later and bought some crisps from the bar in in the meantime. 5 hours later it became clear there was no food when the happy couple left...there wasn't even a cake (and all the guests paid for their own drinks too!)

I’m also gluten free and frequently get terrible meals at weddings.

One memorable was a dry chicken breast and plain boiled potatoes. So dry it was hard to force it down. And it arrived just as the other guests on the table were finishing their main course so everyone sat watching me eat. And no doubt willing me to hurry up so they could be served their dessert.

Another was a cold buffet where there were some gluten free items, such as cold meats, chicken, salmon, cheeses and rice salad etc. But these were all scoffed by the family tables who were called up first. By the time the friends tables were called, the only gluten free thing left was shredded iceberg lettuce leaves and some fancy cut tomatoes that had been used as a garnish.

Another time ( with table service ) I was brought no starter or dessert like everyone else . I just sat there like a lemon while everyone else ate.

For the main course I was brought ( without any prior consultation ) a large plate of curry. I can’t eat curry. So all I had for the whole meal was some of the rice from the side of the dish.

As well as being hungry it’s also very embarrassing as other guests comment negatively and you keep having to pretending it’s ok.

And of course it’s easy to drink WAY too much on an empty tummy so you have to watch your alcohol intake.

Pork and mango salad hastily made vegetarian by scraping off (not all of……) the pork.

Potatoes as the veggie option at a wedding, they hadn’t accounted for the fact that if it was red meat more people were likely to be suddenly veggie and had run out, so it was two fancy potatoes and some veg.

@thefourgp that sounds like a very shit wedding!

@SushiGo oh no! Did people start throwing up at the wedding? I got food poisoning once at a wedding. It was a blumin hog roast on a boiling hot day. Veggie options were the side dishes, one of which was a rice salad that was out in the sun. In hindsight I shouldn't have eaten it but I was bloody starving.

@Misstrip82 eugh that's gross