What's the worst meal you've been served at a wedding?

[Higgeldypiggeldy35]

I'm veggie so unfortunately have had my fair share of shitty wedding meals as the vegetarians often seem to get shafted but this one takes the biscuit. Fancy wedding, very expensive and exclusive venue, meat eaters had a feast and it looked amazing, I was served......a grilled mushroom, and it was cold. This place is probably £100 per head at the very least and the best they could rustle up for a vegetarian was a mushroom. So, make me feel better, what's the worst meal you've been served?
This is meant to be light hearted 🐱

[quote EwwwCoffee]@Wineat5isfine I don’t want to open the floodgates as I know how vegan/non vegan wedding food threads typically go, but if you’re vegan, it is usually because you want to avoid animal death and exploitation, so paying for meat for wedding guests would be an absolute no-no. That said, if you are going to have a vegan-only wedding, I think in order to get over a lot of people’s instinctive recoil, it is incumbent on you to have really tasty and delicious vegan food on offer!!

I once went to a very fancy wedding where the only vegan option they could rustle up was the starter, minus the seafood everyone else had got. It was at a very expensive members club, so everything was very beautifully if minimally presented. So I had a plate of three dressed salad leaves, a tiny pile of cubed marinated cucumber, and three different coloured piles of dehydrated something that resembled - and tasted like - dust. I got that twice, for starter and then again for the main course. My friend who was on my table is not vegan, but is allergic to seafood, so she got the same. The kicker was that we were sitting under an aircon outlet, so the dust on our plates kept blowing about. We honestly became borderline hysterical by the escaping dust that was our precious sustenance (hysteria no doubt enhanced by the lack of food and plentiful wine available) [/quote]
Very aware of what veganism is 😉

But serving tofu cubes with cauliflower “steaks” - no sauce etc, isn’t going to tickle the tastebuds of most people! I agree, if you are going to serve vegan food, make it delicious!

Invited to an evening do, no food whatsoever, about 10pm one packet of Doritos was put on each table of 10, one packet!

A buffet meal at a wedding once, it was literally cold chicken and egg sandwiches.

My friend was getting married and casually mentioned the day before that would be no food at the evening do. I asked why and she said because the day guests will be getting a good feed at the wedding breakfast and she assumed people coming to the evening do would eat before they come.

Personally I thought that most people would assume there would be food at the evening do, especially because it was on a Friday and people were coming straight from work. Anyway I seen my a text message to some people I knew were evening only (Inc my husband) so they knew to eat beforehand! On the day, many people obviously weren't aware and there was a mass exodus at around 9pm. When we got a taxi later, the driver told us he'd picked loads of hungry people up from the wedding who had complained about it and asked to be dropped off at the nearest curry house.

Turns out they had cut the evening catering to pay more towards their honeymoon.

*sent a text message

A dry bread roll. It was an evening do at a very posh venue and the only food on offer was a hog roast roll. I was vegetarian and they looked at me like I had two heads when I asked if there was a veggie alternative. There was no cake either. We ended up going home early because we were so hungry.

Wedding at 2pm - meal at same place in same room so we couldn’t sit down until they had rearranged everything- this took over 2 hours. Dry wedding so no wine to aid our tired legs and boredom- no food served at all until 6 when a tiny buffet appeared - small village setting so little alternative to eat or drink

Oh god we're planning our wedding for next year and this thread is giving me the horrors!!

We are having a buffet as it's an informal do, but I'll make sure the caterers promise there'll be enough for everyone and that the vegans get first dibs!

Also having a cake and a 'stack of cheese' cake and both will be available for eating at no charge

I can't remember ever having an awful meal at a wedding, maybe I've been lucky?

A vegetable lasagne served in half a pineapple. It was foul, sweet, acidic and cheesy at the same time.

Hog roast, had to queue for ages to eat tasteless, textureless pork in a fluffy white burger bun with coleslaw.

I love this thread!

My late grandmother was Czech and for various reasons she excelled at 'worst meals'.

A typical lunch for guests:

• gherkins wrapped in smoked salmon served with barely fried ham, a mostly raw egg and melon balls

- a rock hard half avocado filled with semi-defrosted prawns mixed with mayo. And melon balls.

• tinned soup with Cheetos instead of croutons. So foamy orange gunge on your soup.
• Pickled herring on toast (I mean VERY pickled to the point of disintegration) with gherkins and melon balls.

Anyway, she dead now so no-one will suffer again.

We had a fish starter at our wedding but made sure people had a (nice) alternative.... At my step-sisters wedding she served sushi for canapes....all fish, no veggie. My brother doesn't eat fish, which she knew. There were also veggies and vegans at the wedding. I think probably 40-50% of people didn't have any of the canapes for various reasons.

I went to a wedding with my sister, as her "plus one" once, and ALL the food was deep fried. I couldn't eat any of it, really, as I'm also gluten-intolerant but I really can't deal with deep fried food, except for the very occasional small piece. Not an entire plateful.

Ha, my BIL's wedding. They decided to be free and easy and informal so there was no seating plan and no set order to attend the buffet. The bride's family descended like a plague of locusts, you could not get near. DH and I, marooned at the far end of the room, slipped out and walked to the local museum which had a cafe and had a sarnie, crisps and a latte, and then walked back again. No one noticed! I love my SIL by the way!
One of the best weddings I attended was a real cockney affair. I can't recall the main meal, but at about 10.30 huge platters of hot beef and cheese and onion pasties were brought out. Epic!

I now never attend a wedding without a stash of cereal bars in my handbag, been caught out too many times waiting hours for food, whilst being served booze!

I like to think that I am now at an age where I would just leave if no food. Life is too short fir such crap hosting. Just discreetly leave and claim a headache if anyone asks.

But yes many crap evening dos attended post work (ie mid week) with no one bothered to do food. I won't attend evening do's now unless very local (or family so seeing parents as a side benefit)

@Higgeldypiggeldy35

I'm veggie so unfortunately have had my fair share of shitty wedding meals as the vegetarians often seem to get shafted but this one takes the biscuit. Fancy wedding, very expensive and exclusive venue, meat eaters had a feast and it looked amazing, I was served......a grilled mushroom, and it was cold. This place is probably £100 per head at the very least and the best they could rustle up for a vegetarian was a mushroom. So, make me feel better, what's the worst meal you've been served? This is meant to be light hearted 🐱

Let me guess - was it called a "Rustic Portobello Steak" or some such nonsense? If so we may well have eaten at the same venue.

Also veggie, also had most of the worst meals of my life at weddings/other set events. I swear to gods they don't care how bad the food is because people almost never complain when guests at a large event.

Went to an evening reception.
Buffet was of miniscule proportions. Bride and Groom were tight as arseholes so no surprise to anyone.
A seperate one where people ordered pizza to the evening do!

I’ve been to a few weddings over the years that do buffets.

Caterers always say there will be enough, but NEVER underestimate the greed of some people at a buffet table. And the greedy ones will be the first in the queue with sharp elbows for second helpings leaving slim pickings for the rest.

Always over order. IME, catering companies vastly underestimate how much a person will take - no one will ever take 2 sandwich triangles and one slice of quiche.

Keep wedding guests FED...
Having a Wedding venue miles from anywhere that only sells alcohol with not even a bag of peanuts is a recipe for 'Squabbles'.

There was a big ''sit down'' dinner, but very late, so guests and kids were ratty and hungry all day.

{As was the Groom!}

Maybe pack a slice of Kendal mint cake as emergency glucose :)

I got married 16 years ago. If I have any advice for anyone planning their wedding - don’t scrimp on the food! Your day will always be remembered by the quality / quantity of food served.

We had canapés just after the ceremony. A 4 course served wedding breakfast.

A hot picky nibbly buffet for when the evening guests arrived and bacon rolls / mushroom & egg rolls served at midnight.

Just keep the food coming and everyone will be happy!

Everyone had to travel to this wedding, even the bride and groom chose a place that was an hour and a half away from them I assume because it was pretty, which it was.

Wedding was around 1pm meaning with the travelling people had eaten early. They served teeny canapes post ceremony, I believe I got two as did most people and they didn't serve the main meal until about 5pm which meant everyone was starving and rather tipsy as they were filling up on alcohol.

The food was a Michelin star place so lovely to look at, delicious but not a lot of it. After the teeny starter people on our table were joking they were going to start licking the plates clean if this was an indication of portion size. And sadly it was. Everyone complained that they were hungry post meal. We and others raided the boot of our cars for the "travelling snacks" we had brought with us.

No chippy nearby, everyone had been drinking so no driving out to get food. The couple spent a fortune on the wedding, it was all show and no substance.

Sadly the worst one was a very close friend's wedding, Ds1 was 14 and they served him a children's meal. We knew in advance, they told us, the restaurant stated children were under 12s. He was served 3 chicken goujons and some cucumber and carrot sticks. For a 5'10" 14 year old. Firstly due to the groom's job he works with teenagers and secondly they knew he was 14 FFS and the size of him. We even offered to pay the difference before the wedding to an adult meal. Cue Ds eating food in our room that we brought specifically because we knew he would be hungry. Just felt like a kick in the teeth. No other over 12s, lots of under 12s so they saved what? £30?

@burnoutbabe

I like to think that I am now at an age where I would just leave if no food. Life is too short fir such crap hosting. Just discreetly leave and claim a headache if anyone asks.

But yes many crap evening dos attended post work (ie mid week) with no one bothered to do food. I won't attend evening do's now unless very local (or family so seeing parents as a side benefit)

I agree. I find myself less tolerant and more volatile as I get older. I went to a friend's wedding on my own. Put up with being seated at a table full of strangers. We were the last to be called up for the buffet... and of course there was pretty much nothing left. One of the others on my table asked the serving staff if more food was coming out. My friend was watching all of this while stuffing herself happily, she knew what was going on. Maybe I was rude, but I was hungry. I gave it ten minutes to see if there would be action from the top table. Nothing. Picked up bag and left.

I went to a wedding I was PG at the time and I had bad morning sickness, I just needed some solid carbs. I walked into the marquee and I kid you not the buffet was about 5 different types of coleslaw/salad things, that was it. Not a slice of bread, or cracker to be seen. I did not eat from 11am until the next day as the wedding was in the countryside and there were no shops.

Hog roast. As a vegetarian I basically just had bread and salad. On top of that the smoke just went everywhere, and I just found looking at a dead pig all evening a bit macabre for a wedding.