Some Superb Loud Parenting happening on my bus right now

[FionasFanjoFondu]

A father - can you believe it - an actual man, has just wheeled a buggy containing a small person onto an real, live Bus.

I know....

I'm not sure if that's very happened before but at least everyone on this bus is in NO DOUBT that this is an exceptional and extraordinary father and a genius child because we are very luckily, able to share in the running commentary.

He has loudly proclaimed to all of us that Leo LOVES busses and has been on them several times.we have been treated to the dames of all the bus stops "now you say it Leo"... abs we also know that Leo is finding it all so exciting and already knows his numbers up to five! I mean..!

Leo would apparently love a carrot stick right now, but so elite are this mans parenting skills, that he has told leo the whole bus that there will "no eating on the wibbly wobbly bus because he could choke".

Later. Leo is having egg and avocado for tea before picking which pyjamas he wants to wear.

He has also just awarded Leo Olympic gold for pressing the bell and explained that "he'd drive it if we let him".

I don't know about that last claim. I think he would struggle to reach the clutch.

But anyway. Just thought people should know that a child rode a bus today neither his dad. I am trying it to feel inadequate.

There is a difference between talking/interacting with your child and performance parenting. The difference being the the shouty, look at me, eye-roll inducing behaviour. I think I can tell who the PPs are on this thread .

I think this is a really horrid and bitchy thread. There is nothing wrong with with the dad’s language. He might have been a bit loud but it wasn’t like he was talking about Aristotle. I’d be devastated if I’d been out with my child and someone had decided to take the piss on mumsnet. Sometimes people are extra engaging on transport/waiting rooms because of the fear of the child kicking off. The little lad probably was really excited- lots of toddlers are.

Is it hell horrid and bitchy. We’ve all seen these silly show offs at work.

But it’s funny when the parent it telling everyone little Billy in the art gallery that this is Van Gough, and Van Gough is his favourite artist, isn’t it Billy? Remember what we went to the exhibition in Paris Billy? Wasn’t that wonderful? Vincent was a Dutch post-impressionist painter who posthumously became one of the most famous and influential figures in the history of Western art, wasn’t he Billy? And he was a bit saaaaaad. Owwwww poor Vincent.

You are a wonderful painter too aren’t you Billy? Your tutor says that you are very advanced for your age, and definitely has echos of early Bacon, doesn’t she Billy?

Meanwhile 2 year old Billy is half dozing in his pram, mesmerised by and trying to eat his own bogies.

Gough? Bah Gogh...

If the parents don't care what you think of them, and their kids go on to be high achieving and confident, which seems quite likely given their parents are often that way, where is the downside for those who do this?

It just sounds like sour grapes, really.

There’s a difference in interacting with the child in a relevant and engaging way - and taking over them (so all they hear is bla bla bla, Billy, bla bla bla).

We had a young mum on our street ruefully explain that they had to go private because the primary our kids all our older kids went to would not be able to cope with his sporting prowess . Kid was 18 months eating sand. My friend and I managed not to look at each other just smile and nod… there is a lot of this attitude and performance parenting where I live - it’s a hotbed !

And that kid went on to win gold at the Olympics...?

@Guineapigbridge

Dad on the bus isn't just teaching language either. He's teaching and sharing joy and excitement. Something you can never get from watching a phone. We're making our kids numb, and unable to feel happiness. It worries me to be honest.

No he's not. He's showing off. He's showing everyone on the bus what an A-MA-ZING parent he is. It's about him and not his child. That's that performance parenting is, we've all experienced it, we've all been around someone who's done it.

As per usual when there's a performance parenting thread, some posters cannot help themselves and immediately leap to the conclusion that people who are not loudly performing things like "Look Lucretia! There's a crow! What's the Latin name for a crow, Lucretia? A bicycle! Now, Lucretia, remember we talked about Kirkpatrick Macmillan who invented the bicycle?" are sitting looking at their phone and not engaging. No shades of grey. One extreme or the other.

Obviously it's easy to chat to your child on the bus or anywhere else. It's the loud, performing, usually when the child isn't engaged which is irritating.

@lannistunut I think what this country needs now more than anything is a lot less of that type of confidence.

OMG - the icing on the cake was the avocado for tea

PurplePosies.
Thank Christ 😊 💐

Sorry, came home and fell asleep

Of course parents should talk to their children and engage with them.

This dad was not talking to Leo, he was addressing the commuters. I bet you all forty-six million pounds that if the bus had been empty, Leo's dad would have been scrolling on his phone.

Also, Leo - bus driving protege that he is - looked bored rigid and only spoke to say he wanted snacks.

well its still better than Jane having an intimate conversation about her life & her rotten man & her girl friends who done her wrong & all the other horrible people she knows et al using as many inappropriate expressions in as loud a voice as she manage on her mobile at the front of the bus - she didn't need the phone -I think if her friend was within 5 miles she could have heard her without one - I mean, why???

I expect her parents Performance Parented at her, so she never learned an appropriate level of volume on a bus.

@Endlesscleaning.
I'm sorry that your little one was upset. You are a good parent, in all honesty though I would have had to say something to the stupid woman. Serves her right, probably moved because she realised she was being a dick.

Well I for one think Leo’s father should be added to the the next honours list

What an amazing man, not only managing public transport alone with a young child but also communicating to his son in a way that leaves me in awe. Can’t be easy to be a father to such an amazing son (who obviously is just like his father)

I once sat on a plane with a child of about 4yrs sat with her father behind me. I had to listen to about 3 hours of this amazing dialogue whilst said child repeatedly kicked the back of my seat. I think she was either bored or embarrassed, I certainly was.

I was once walking down the road behind a dad and his two small children - I’m talking about 4 and 5. He started off discussing WW2. It must’ve been a bit of a pet subject to him because he got more and more in-depth, naming battles and campaigns, famous soldiers and their strategies. Then he got into the concentration camps and was describing exactly what happened on these - I mean it was very explicit. I think he was just giving a lecture and not really thinking about his audience. I could tell where he was going and was curious to see how he handled it.

I stopped to look on a shop window and shot a peek at the children - one was zoned out and gazing into the distance (from her push chair) and the other just had a frozen look of horror on his face.

Of god I had a flashback of one of ours asking a question about WW2 and I must have been hormonal if something as when I started to explain I started crying! The child was 🙄 and wandered off. Thankfully this was in privacy of my own home!

Loud people are the issue here.

Please tone it down in public.

Of course there can be too much language development.
Prime Minister Johnson springs to mind. What a prime example of an over confident worthless air bag.

I'm not sure, I mean you want your child to know things, if you are in an art gallery for example, of course you are going to talk about the works of art in front of you. I really don't think many of these people are doing it to show off, they are probably educated people that have been brought up in a similar way and that's all they have ever known. My Dad would always speak to us quite loudly about various subjects that were pretty intellectual, in fact he is always shocked by the lack of general knowledge younger generations have. Being curious and discussing things that are enriching is akin to a happy life as far as my parents are concerned. DH's Mum studied Art history at university and she has a similar outlook. DH is an Architect and went to art college so will often chat with the kids about these subjects in public. I don't think either of us are loud but my Dad and MIL are pretty loud and posh sounding so they would probably be considered performance Grandparents- which couldn't be further from the truth!

I think it boils down to this, you see a someone engaging with their child and it makes you feel inadequate and a bit shit by comparison, so they get mocked.

I've been there and have judged people for "being a twat" but looking back they were just trying to do the best they could for their child.