Some Superb Loud Parenting happening on my bus right now

[FionasFanjoFondu]

A father - can you believe it - an actual man, has just wheeled a buggy containing a small person onto an real, live Bus.

I know....

I'm not sure if that's very happened before but at least everyone on this bus is in NO DOUBT that this is an exceptional and extraordinary father and a genius child because we are very luckily, able to share in the running commentary.

He has loudly proclaimed to all of us that Leo LOVES busses and has been on them several times.we have been treated to the dames of all the bus stops "now you say it Leo"... abs we also know that Leo is finding it all so exciting and already knows his numbers up to five! I mean..!

Leo would apparently love a carrot stick right now, but so elite are this mans parenting skills, that he has told leo the whole bus that there will "no eating on the wibbly wobbly bus because he could choke".

Later. Leo is having egg and avocado for tea before picking which pyjamas he wants to wear.

He has also just awarded Leo Olympic gold for pressing the bell and explained that "he'd drive it if we let him".

I don't know about that last claim. I think he would struggle to reach the clutch.

But anyway. Just thought people should know that a child rode a bus today neither his dad. I am trying it to feel inadequate.

I hate to say it, well ok, perhaps I don't. But it is nearly always men. And I'm not always convinced that it's for the purposes of garnering attention. Sometimes they are just so bleeding loud. Especially in the park when running a military style boot camp over the climbing frame.

Dad on the bus isn't just teaching language either. He's teaching and sharing joy and excitement. Something you can never get from watching a phone. We're making our kids numb, and unable to feel happiness. It worries me to be honest.

@Guineapigbridge

Honestly, give over 🤷🏼‍♀️😂 . I created and run a whole programme for seven schools in one of the poorest areas in the U.K. to increase primary reading skills and comprehension. And I studied linguistics at university. Performance parenting still makes me way to gouge my eyes out and ram them into my ears. It's not for the benefit of the child, it's for the benefit of the adult and is all "LOOK AT ME"!

@fantastaballs
Performance parenting still makes me way to gouge my eyes out and ram them into my ears. It's not for the benefit of the child, it's for the benefit of the adult and is all LOOK AT ME

I’m sure for some people it is. Others are probably just extrovert and putting the effort in. It might be slightly annoying to listen to but then annoying is subjective. Any stranger babble is annoying. As long as the volume of speech isn’t antisocial in its loudness, I don’t see the problem.

@fantastaballs
I created and run a whole programme for seven schools in one of the poorest areas in the U.K. to increase primary reading skills and comprehension
🙌🙌

@Guineapigbridge

Yes, nerve touched. Daughter of a speech therapist and I teach reading at school. Kids coming through have barely any language. They're numb because their parents barely talk to them anymore. If you're not talked to, you don't pick up reading. It's really as simple as that.

Well you can be reassured that baby Leo will have speed read his way through all the Harry Potters and War and Peace by the end of Key Stage One

Waiting for the day his feet can reach the bus pedals

We endured this yesterday. Alice couldn't push Leopold's pram because it would be dangerous. Daddy said so. Ten minutes. twelve minutes, fifteen minutes later we had the same speech. Mummy didn't appear to give a shit.

Alice also seemed unimpressed with her lesson on butterflies and gargoyles. She whined like she was going for Olympic gold though.

@fantastaballs so you're not worried about kids' language acquisition? Teachers everywhere are noticing big changes from even just a few years ago. Especially in vocabulary. The difference is due to phones being put into the hands of toddlers and babies, preventing them from talking, observing and asking questions.

I do think it's a tragedy and I'd be worried if people like you were suggesting that teachers "give over" when raising this as a concerning trend.

@fantastaballs Spot on! And I also taught in Early Years working on language skills and teaching reading. The child who bellows in the classroom all day long because they haven't learnt to adapt to the situation is a pain in the bum. It sounds like the Dad on the bus was talking AT his child not encouraging him to talk.

@Guineapigbridge

Of course I'm concerned about child language acquisition , handing tablets/phones to kids is also very strongly linked to sensory issues too . But that's not what this is about. Its not about the op complaining about a dad sat on the bus that just foisted a noisy tablet at the kids and then ignored them, it's about a a dad that is very clearly trying to impress people on the bus with his absolute genius (perfectly average) child while intruding on their travel time without a thought or a care. Nobody cares about your kid unless they are directly related.

Heavens he should be nominated for an O.B.E.

For those of us in the know that stands for:

'Other Bugger's Efforts'

In this case, the mum.

Who prepped no doubt for getting on the bus in the first place, did the washing, made the breakfast, cleaned up afterwards...and so on...

And don't forget,
if this man is getting on the bus with a child on his own then it is quite clearly his partner's or his ex partners fault, not his.

See:
www.amazon.co.uk/Why-Women-Are-Blamed-Everything/dp/0244498342?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Dr. Jessica is fab.

Oh, and his partner probably doesn't 'understand' him

So it is the mother's fault again.

Former teacher and I'm with Guineapigbridge here.

There's no doubt that I caused a lot of eye rolls, but I couldn't give a shiny shit. I'm hard of hearing, as is my DS, and I've spent a lot of time talking loudly to him on buses. His vocabulary and comprehension are now fantastic.

I'd much rather put up with derision than not put in the effort to interact with my child in a beneficial way just because we're in public.

If you're not talked to, you don't pick up reading. It's really as simple as that

Holy fuck, you mean my deaf-since-birth uncle has just been pretending to read all these years!? That bastard.

As an aside, you're totally overthinking this. It's about performance parenting which is wildly different from normal parenting, I would bet money that little Leo does not get quite such a show when there isn't an audience around to appreciate it. I chat to my DC all the time, even when they were babies in buggies, but I didnt feel the need to share that shit with everyone in earshot.

[quote Guineapigbridge]@fantastaballs so you're not worried about kids' language acquisition? Teachers everywhere are noticing big changes from even just a few years ago. Especially in vocabulary. The difference is due to phones being put into the hands of toddlers and babies, preventing them from talking, observing and asking questions.

I do think it's a tragedy and I'd be worried if people like you were suggesting that teachers "give over" when raising this as a concerning trend.[/quote]
What a straw man argument!

Objecting to strange men who can't speak at a considerate volume on a bus is not equivalent to never speaking to your child and sticking a phone in it's hand.

Nice try though.

I, like a pp, also have a lot of qualifications in linguistics and work with supporting families and children with communication. I know aaallll about child development and language acquisition.

I also know a light-hearted thread and a Keen Parent when I see them. It's okay to gently poke fun sometimes. It really is.

God awful woman in Pret doing similar this week. She was addressing the whole room with every comment to/about her PFB. Nobody gave a fuck, it was so embarrassing.

I always hesitate before giving my kids a phone/tablet to look at because you KNOW someone will be judgin’.

We went away for a week recently and the kids didn’t use any computers/phones/tablets for 5 days. We did lots of wholesome walks, museums, paddling in streams. But on the last day we met my mum for lunch in a pub, we hadn’t seen her in ages, kids were tired - after lunch they had their tablets while DH and I chatted with my mum and had a couple of coffees. But I’m always aware someone will be thinking kids on tablets, how awful

There is also a huge difference between occasionally using a phone or tablet as needed (we all need downtime now and again), sharing time on the phone or tablet (e.g., playing or watching together and chatting while doing it), and sticking a phone or tablet in your kids hands for hours at a time without saying a word. There is a balance.

@Thanksihateit you need to perfect your "dafuq you looking at?" resting bitch face, it stops any comments before they even start

@Guineapigbridge

Yes, nerve touched. Daughter of a speech therapist and I teach reading at school. Kids coming through have barely any language. They're numb because their parents barely talk to them anymore. If you're not talked to, you don't pick up reading. It's really as simple as that.

We have a national crisis and idiots on here going on about performance parenting dont help

You need to talk to your children. Constantly. Look at this
cdn.literacytrust.org.uk/media/documents/Language_unlocks_reading.pdf

High quality interactions between adults (parents, carers or teachers) and young children represent valuable opportunities to both support and assess language development. They may include use of contingent talk (where adults talk about whatthe child is doing), commenting, questioning, narration, expansions and recasts (in the latter two, a phrase may be repeated back, slightly extended with one word added, or repeated back with the correct grammar). When engaging in high quality interactions with children, practitioners need to
be highly tuned in to the child’s capabilities and motivations, while nurturing their confidence and engagement through praise and affirmation.

I think I’d probably have enjoyed the dads pleasure at his child’s wonderment and learning, just as I would if it was a mum. All this bullshit about performance parenting as if they give a shiny shit about you sitting on your phone moaning on mumsnet about how perfect these two are. Remove the chips from shoulders and let this dad enjoy teaching his kid about the world, he’s so wrapped up in his kid he doesn’t even know you exist. Allow him his pride in seeing his child accomplish little things we take for granted. Stop being such miserable people ffs.

@beigebrownblue

You seem to know an awful lot about the home life of this man you've presumably never met.

@Guineapigbridge

Yeah chuck him the phone with YouTube kids on it. It might compromise his language acquisition and lead to poor self-regulation, but whatever, people on the bus will be able to mindlessly scroll their phones in zombified silence.

Don't worry, I'm sure if he did someone would still make a bitchy bullying thread about him on mumsnet.

Well I’m sure OP’s delighted by how this thread’s turning out

Seriously I wonder how the human race managed before we had linguistic experts to tell us how not to bring up our children