Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Some Superb Loud Parenting happening on my bus right now

143 replies

FionasFanjoFondu · 06/09/2021 18:20

A father - can you believe it - an actual man, has just wheeled a buggy containing a small person onto an real, live Bus.

I know....

I'm not sure if that's very happened before but at least everyone on this bus is in NO DOUBT that this is an exceptional and extraordinary father and a genius child because we are very luckily, able to share in the running commentary.

He has loudly proclaimed to all of us that Leo LOVES busses and has been on them several times.we have been treated to the dames of all the bus stops "now you say it Leo"... abs we also know that Leo is finding it all so exciting and already knows his numbers up to five! I mean..!

Leo would apparently love a carrot stick right now, but so elite are this mans parenting skills, that he has told leo the whole bus that there will "no eating on the wibbly wobbly bus because he could choke".

Later. Leo is having egg and avocado for tea before picking which pyjamas he wants to wear.

He has also just awarded Leo Olympic gold for pressing the bell and explained that "he'd drive it if we let him".

I don't know about that last claim. I think he would struggle to reach the clutch.

But anyway. Just thought people should know that a child rode a bus today neither his dad. I am trying it to feel inadequate.

OP posts:

Hdhdjejdj · 06/09/2021 22:21

When my dc were little we were all fascinated with performance parenting. My dc especially loved it. We don’t live in a high performance parenting area so it was all very novel. My dc still love to quote some of the phrases they heard. Piss taking bastards

lannistunut · 06/09/2021 22:35

I bet Leo was having a nice time though, and his dad. It would all be pretty boring if everyone was the same, and they were hardly harming anyone.

I think I would have been classed as a performance parent at times, but I was mostly just caught up in enjoying what we were doing.

DerAlteMann · 06/09/2021 22:38

@Tooembarrassingtomention

The best way to develop language skills as a parent is to talk along side your child

Why do you think this is worthy of derision?

Weak communication skills are a barrier to learning

As with so much in life, it is a question of degree. Too much can be worse than too little. Same goes for your example of the silent parent on the plane.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

lannistunut · 06/09/2021 22:41

Too much can be worse than too little. Not when it comes to language development, there is no such thing as too much language development.

Payproblems · 06/09/2021 22:42

Sorry to put a dampener on the fun but this is one thing I loathe about mn. Making parents feel bad about talking to their children.

There are so so so many dc out there with parents who don't talk to them and those whose do but have speech delays. It's so intrinsically important that I don't care if its performance.. He's talking his son is hearing his dad's voice learning from its cadence and hearing words.

Tooembarrassingtomention · 06/09/2021 22:45

As with so much in life, it is a question of degree. Too much can be worse than too little. Same goes for your example of the silent parent on the plane.

Evidence for that?

Payproblems · 06/09/2021 22:47

Guinea pig bridge I agree.

And I'm shocked at some of the responses from people in the "business".

It's quite desperate out there for many dc it really is.
I feel its so nasty to be cruel about this man, talking to his son.

MsTSwift · 06/09/2021 22:48

My favourite was a performance granny. It was mortifying. Our kids were doing an activity and were all about 9/10. They were doing calligraphy (should have known better) at an abbey and performance granny kept upping the ante. Loudly proclaiming that her granddaughters were so talented / at the best local private school / the flowers in the abbey “just like the flowers in granny’s garden aren’t they darling only not as nice”.

Dd 2 played her at her own game by declaring she was going to do her calligraphy in Mandarin. I thought performance granny was going to cry.

Endlesscleaning · 06/09/2021 23:00

Reminds me of a train journey with my 2 year old DS. To keep him occupied I pointed out and counted farm animal, cars, clouds anything I could really. He was showing me things too and counting them; I thought we were having a nice calm time.

The woman in front turned round and demanded if I was going to keep this up for the whole journey. I was taken completely unawares and was stunned into silence.

DS was upset by her tone and the end of his game, and started crying. He worked himself up into the mother of all hysterical tantrums which lasted for the next hour.

She moved carriages (after giving me a filthy look). Leaving me with the inconsolable screaming child.

Just saying that dad was obviously trying to occupy his DC on the journey. A screaming DC would be far worse. Please don’t judge him too harshly.

Hdhdjejdj · 06/09/2021 23:28

I wouldn’t class that as performance parents @Endlesscleaning That’s good parenting.

I remember once at Centreparcs there was a lesson for children to learn how to ride a bike. A family came along whose dc could already ride bikes very well. So we had a group of children all nervously trying to master cycling while a couple of kids whizzed around. The parents were clapping and cheering them. Twats.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 06/09/2021 23:34

Folks know there's a huge difference between a parent interacting with their child and a parent performing don't they?

An easy way to tell them apart is that a parent interacting with their child is focused on their child whereas a performance parent keeps looking around to see if you're impressed.

When you've seen both, you can tell the difference.

AdobeWanKenobi · 06/09/2021 23:37

Last week in a gift shop I watched a woman dangle a toy giraffe just out of reach of a kid in a buggy. Child was probably 12/14 months old. She told him he could have it when he said giraffe and was repeating it over and over.

Have a feeling she might still be there.

Evesgarden · 06/09/2021 23:40

Well if he had a packet of wotsits instead of carrot sticks Leo could have had that snack.

MsTSwift · 06/09/2021 23:42

Ha. You know it when you see it! My friend used to shout phases in French at her two toddlers. She is not French and barely speaks it herself. She would do it very loudly in public places like the library. She’s lovely in other ways but I used to die inside when she did that!

RobynNora · 06/09/2021 23:52

Oh man. Maybe I’m lacking a sense of humour tonight but I find this thread completely depressing.

At the risk of sounding gushing, a parent talking to a kid about the world should be a beautiful thing to see. I’m now going to feel self conscious about prattling crap to my kid on the bus.

I’ve never seen any person do this for the benefit of people around them. Honestly, why would they. He was probably just a brilliant dad and Leo will grow up with a healthy love of learning and good comms skills rather than some repressed or toxic male.

PickAChew · 06/09/2021 23:54

@themuttsnutts

Some children have difficulty with speech snd language due to an underlying disorder. It doesn't matter how much you talk to them. They will still be more challenged than others. I had one child in speech therapy before phones and ipads. I hated all the comments about how you should keep talking to them and language would miraculously appear. We did and it didn't- except in its own time.

Sorry, I know this is not what the thread is about and know exactly what you mean by this type of parenting, though

My youngest autistic ds was non-verbal until he was 8. Speech therapist lent me the Hanen more than words book during a lull in appointments.

At 8 he became obsessed with alphablocks and started mimicking them. He hasn't shut up, since. He particularly likes to talk at me and say the same thing to me over and over until I say the stock phrase he knows I am meant to say as a response.

He has me very well trained.

Hdhdjejdj · 07/09/2021 00:27

Like others have said, there is a world of difference between chatting to your child about the world around them, and performance parenting. The former is about the child, the latter about the parent.

MsTSwift · 07/09/2021 00:42

Fgs this silly “I cannot speak to my child in public” nonsense. If you are using your child as a conduit to boast to other adults and show off then yes listeners are going to eye roll!

HunkyPunk · 07/09/2021 00:45

There’s a subtle difference between chatting normally with your child all the way round the supermarket (great for child’s language development), and braying “You’d like snails in garlic butter for lunch, darling? Oh yes, you loved them when we ate at the chateau in Provence, didn’t you?” at your 3 year old, and the rest of the aisle (great for pretentious performance parenting). The distinction between the two is obviously too subtle for some to pick up on!

mumwon · 07/09/2021 00:57

well its still better than Jane having an intimate conversation about her life & her rotten man & her girl friends who done her wrong & all the other horrible people she knows et al using as many inappropriate expressions in as loud a voice as she manage on her mobile at the front of the bus - she didn't need the phone -I think if her friend was within 5 miles she could have heard her without one - I mean, why???

Enough4me · 07/09/2021 00:59

Shame, the child should have had the opportunity to relax or to talk. Also, communication includes body language and observing others. On buses my 2DC used to love watching new people interacting because we are more than a family unit and people talk and move in different ways.

When parents 'perform' they make so much noise and movement it stifles the DCs' opportunity to become observant and curious people.

Theunamedcat · 07/09/2021 05:57

@lannistunut

Too much can be worse than too little. Not when it comes to language development, there is no such thing as too much language development.

Clearly they mean too much talking at the child can be worse than too little we are warned not to keep talking to give the child a chance to speak

Hdhdjejdj · 07/09/2021 07:06

I know parents who worry their dc are too quiet, not realising if they shut the fuck up once in a while, they may actually give them a chance to speak.

NotFrozen · 07/09/2021 07:16

OP, I know you are being light hearted but there is a really mean undercurrent to criticising a parent who is excited about spending time with his child. Leo is probably having a great time. I work full time and when I have the opportunity to spend time with my kids I get really excited too. I talk as much as I can and try to make basic things sound fun. Those moments mean a lot to me. I can only imagine that some horrible mumsnetter would be listening and judging me, for what to me is a happy moment. How utterly miserable. I honestly think I have nothing at all in common with the type of person who would judge me for this, or the type of person who would enjoy making fun of Leo’s dad. Kind of reminds me of the school bullies…

Dreamstate · 07/09/2021 07:30

My neighbours are both like that and its blatantly put on, at 7am or between 5-7pm everyday in the garden.

So loud I can hear them even with my double glazing windows closed, internal doors shut, radio on and I'm in the furthest point in my house from the garden.

Yet at all other times or when they think I'm not home they manage to use a normal voice.

At least they are consistent in their timings so I just leave my house to get away from it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6