I know everyone has been through different degrees of hell during the past 18 months, but I think I'm starting to struggle. I feel exhausted, stressed and completely overwhelmed by life.
I have a full-on full-time job and there's little to no escape from it, plus I have a team to support. I've had three weeks off in total over the past 2 years and I know my adrenaline has pretty much burnt out. I know I need to take time off, but the buck stops with me and there's no-one to pick up work I don't do, so I have to keep trucking.
I have children who need me, especially right now as one is dealing with some mental health issues caused by Covid and lockdown. They're wonderful, but I'm so touched out and so over being needed so much that my beautiful kids are starting to feel like hard work.
I'm also fat. I loathe myself and the way I look and feel. Every day I'm determined to make changes, but every day I feel defeated before I begin. Small changes fall by the wayside and I seem paralysed to break free of crappy habits.
I find it impossible to put my needs first. I just can't do it. Everyone and everything comes first - my clients, my team, my children, my husband, even my pets. It's madness and yet, the pattern continues.
Things just don't bring me joy anymore - instead of something to look forward to, they feel like an extra pressure, which I know is madness. I adore books and magazines and yet I just look at them mounting up and feel like I'm even failing at the things I love. I love walking my dog listening to a book or a podcast but I just can't summon up the energy to do a thing.
I need to pull myself together I know that. Anyone got any tried and tested kicks up the bum?