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Original poster

People telling you you look pale/tired-why?!!

46 replies

Bigpjbottoms282 · 29/08/2021 14:30

Specifically my elderly neighbour and my MIL. Every single time I see them I'm greater with 'oh you look pale/tired'. Yes I do cause I'm fucking knackering running around after everyone including you 2!! What do they want me to reply?! I usually just say 'do I?' and quickly change the subject. It makes me feel shit about myself though, I don't know why they do it! I find it really rude!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigpjbottoms282 · 29/08/2021 14:30

*greated

OP posts:
ikeepseeingit · 29/08/2021 14:33

I hate it too, but I think people are trying to be sympathetic about how much you’re doing. They’re probably expecting you to say ‘yeah been busy today!’ Or ‘ I didn’t get much sleep last night’ and then they would give you sympathy.

thatone · 29/08/2021 14:40

I used to get it constantly from certain people at work. Don't actually think I did look tired. In the end I said 'this is just how I look. I can't do anything about it'. They haven't said it since.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 29/08/2021 14:42

This is why I wear foundation and blusher every single day.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/08/2021 14:43

They're concerned .

peboh · 29/08/2021 14:44

It's my biggest pet peeve. I'm naturally super pale, which basically translucent skin and every single person I meet comments on how I look. It got to a point a couple years back where I just wouldn't leave the house within fake tan on.

Gwenhwyfar · 29/08/2021 14:44

I appreciate it when it's said when I really am tired.

Cheeeeislifenow · 29/08/2021 14:47

There is a woman, in her 60s used to say this to me every day in work.."you look awful, you never have color on your cheeks, do you go out walking".
I was polite for a couple of moths then told her I had AIDs. That shut her up.

So very rude of her.

Bobmonkfish · 29/08/2021 14:52

Very rude. It does my head in as I always look awful if I am tired or ill (unlike DH who looks the same regardless) and don't need reminding!

bobandhisburgers · 29/08/2021 14:53

I get it all the time. I am pale and look like shit a lot of the time. My usual reply is ' this is just my face'.

Bobmonkfish · 29/08/2021 14:56

My usual reply is ' this is just my face'.

Grin
Kite22 · 29/08/2021 14:57

I don't find it rude. To me it shows they are concerned about you - offering sympathy.

Cheeeeislifenow · 29/08/2021 14:58

I don't need sympathy for my face!!!

PricklesTheHedgehog · 29/08/2021 15:00

It's possibly well meaning, but it's not a great thing to say to anyone.

I've had people tell me I look unwell/tired/stressed whatever when I've been feeling perfectly well and happy!

Next time I'm going to try the 'This is actually just my normal face' line!

lannistunut · 29/08/2021 15:00

You could just say 'I am a bit tired, actually'.

Paperyfish · 29/08/2021 15:00

I think it’s really rude. One of my dh’s aunt told me I looked really tired and run down at our wedding reception. Just after the photos. Why would you think that’s ok? You should tell a bride she looks beautiful or radiant or compliment her outfit if she looks shit! I said “ oh, right, thanks for that.” Dh told me off for being rude.

MotherOfCrocodiles · 29/08/2021 15:02

My MIL does this. I hate it. It's basically saying you look awful. If I am tired, the last thing I need is someone telling me I look like shit too.

That said, my mum had a bad arm and mil told her "it's because you are so old" so I guess at least her lack oF tact is not personal against me

GoWalkabout · 29/08/2021 15:02

I'm going to adopt 'this is my face' Grin I can't believe that the person who does it most to me is also a menopausal woman in her 50s, where is the tact of the sisterhood?

imacuddler · 29/08/2021 15:08

Ha yes my dm does this to me all the time too.
I got a break from it for a while when she lost her vision partially but now she's had both eyes corrected it's back again!
Also every time I yawn I get it too.
Drives me up the wall.
Loving the replies on here!

Moonface123 · 29/08/2021 15:19

People are fond of saying this to me, so l reply "You and me both", see how like it.

Moonface123 · 29/08/2021 15:19

See how they like it.

Boredhimtodeath · 29/08/2021 15:24

I get it all the time and I hate it! I don’t wear make up to work because I sweat it off and spend more time fixing where it has run than doing my job.

I think my new go to will be “oh I was just about to say the same to you!”

Iknowtheanswer · 29/08/2021 15:26

I get that too - cheek fillers and a touch of bronzer. I actually feel less tired now.

Squirrel26 · 29/08/2021 15:27

I get this too (and yes, often from my mum. Hmm ) I also use 'yes. This is just my face.'

I'm not sure if I find that more annoying, or 'you're very quiet'. I have been known to reply to that with 'well, someone has to be.'

Mums1234 · 29/08/2021 15:28

You must think I'm rude because I tell people they look tired if they do. It's how I'd like to be treated so I treat others that way.
Every time I've said it, people seem to have appreciated it, or so I thought.