Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Why do people "play" with children by pretending to take their things?

110 replies

Wapawapa · 27/08/2021 13:56

I have a 3 yo
I've noticed that many many people interact with her by pretending to take and keep her belongings.
"This teddy? It's my teddy! I'm going to put it i my bag! I'm taking it as I leave"
Distant family members, our cleaner etc.

Also another way to "engage" with the child is to call something the wrong colour.
"I like your red t-shirt". (Tshirt is Yellow).

Why is this? What's the thinking behind it?

I should add I immediately say to my child "X is only joking, they're not going to take your Teddy". The colour thing I ignore as my child know her colours and just thinks the adults don't know theirs.

Any psychological insight?

OP posts:
SantanaBinLorry · 27/08/2021 13:59

Its because they are dicks.
Its a minor power game.
Some people who do this (if my kid didnt notice/engage with) I'd roll my eyes and ignor.
My dick of fil I pull up EVERYTIME , coz he's a dick and he's doing it as a means of control and its a shitty thing to do to a kid.

SantanaBinLorry · 27/08/2021 14:04

sorry, posted too soon.
I wouldnt say this (I have a very low dickhead tolerence)
"X is only joking, they're not going to take your Teddy". Thats then involving you and your kid in their 'game'.
I look directly at the person doing this and say "Stop". They know what they are doing.

Lottapianos · 27/08/2021 14:07

'Its because they are dicks.
Its a minor power game.'

Totally

I know some adults who will take a child's toy and refuse to give it back until the child gives them a kiss. Bloody horrible, and the same kind of messed up dynamic as in your examples

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families
InDubiousBattle · 27/08/2021 14:07

In my experience little children find adults getting things wrong hilarious, putting on sunglasses on to go out in the rain or a brolly up in the shine, putting a coat on upside down....that sort of thing. My d's used to find his grandad pretending that he didn't know his age so funny, he'd say "goodness you've grown, you must be ,what 24??36??" and my then 3 year old would fall about laughing. They find it funny when it's from a trusted adult I suppose, dh regularly jokes that he'll pinch their pudding or treat them to brussel sprout ice cream,they always laugh.

Adelino · 27/08/2021 14:11

They are not dicks playing power games at all.
Most of the time the kids find it hilarious, it's a fun and easy way to interact for people who may or may not be that confident with children.
If when people did this children cried or got anxious then it wouldn't be such a common way for people to interact.

SethWho · 27/08/2021 14:17

I think they are trying to make your child laugh. Just let it go.

drpet49 · 27/08/2021 14:19

** They are not dicks playing power games at all.
Most of the time the kids find it hilarious, it's a fun and easy way to interact for people who may or may not be that confident with children.**

^This.

Blindleadingtheblind · 27/08/2021 14:20

I'm guessing so the child develops a sense of humour.... Hmm

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 27/08/2021 14:21

It's surely just a bit of fun? Lots of children love correcting adults when they get silly things wrong (on purpose or otherwise!) and being teased. I think lots of people read too much into things.

PoppenhuisStories · 27/08/2021 14:22

The teddy thing is fair enough, but for the colour thing, people always make deliberate mistakes the child can correct. My children find it hilarious, perhaps they’re just simple inferior beings.

Changechangychange · 27/08/2021 14:23

@Adelino

They are not dicks playing power games at all. Most of the time the kids find it hilarious, it's a fun and easy way to interact for people who may or may not be that confident with children. If when people did this children cried or got anxious then it wouldn't be such a common way for people to interact.
Totally depends on the age of the child, and whether they actually know the adult. Some complete random on the bus doing it to a two year old is very different from Hilarious Uncle doing it to a six year old.
Albgo · 27/08/2021 14:24

People saying they think this is funny and kids like it? Wtf. It's horrible - a form of bullying. I hate this sort of behaviour.

Clymene · 27/08/2021 14:24

Most 3 year olds wouldn't think that was funny, nor do they know their colours well enough to correct the adult. It's funny if the joke is on the adult. If the joke's on the kid, it's not.

FlibbertyGiblets · 27/08/2021 14:25

I think it dickish behaviour. The adult taker wants to upset the child or at least get a reaction so that soothing can be performed by the taker. Very weird behaviour.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 27/08/2021 14:25

Surely they're just being daft. If your child doesn't like that sort of thing then let them know.

I have a low dickhead tolerance so someone staring at me and saying "Stop" would just get an eye roll and conversations about how weird so and so has become.

Bigoldmachine · 27/08/2021 14:26

My MIL did this with people / objects that weren’t there…

like “where’s mummy?” Baby points to me. “Where’s daddy?” Baby points to daddy “where’s DCat’s name” baby looks around confused as of course our cat is not at my MILs 200 miles away from home. We called her out on it. Turns out she thought it was harmless. Some people don’t credit babies with any intelligence at all!!

leavesthataregreen · 27/08/2021 14:29

To engage the child and encourage the child to disagree and stand up for themselves in a jokey manner. Or to make them laugh. I used to say, 'We're off for a walk now, I'll just get my coat!' and then try to put on toddler DC's coat. they were in hysterics about it. They loved it. It was just silly fun.

If someone did it when a child seemed upset they'd be a dick but not if they are interacting well and joking and letting the child feel more intelligent and grown up than the adult is.

Teamfemale · 27/08/2021 14:33

Its not funny though is it? Why would a small child think that a adult fucking off with their favourite teddy is hilarious ? The only person that really gets a kick out of it is the adult whilst the child nervously laughs and doesnt quite know whats going on. Its all a bit awkward.

Is teasing small children funny?

And to be honest does teasing develop a sense of humour? Maybe but possibly the kind that makes people laugh when they see other people fall over perhaps..

Teamfemale · 27/08/2021 14:35

@leavesthataregreen

To engage the child and encourage the child to disagree and stand up for themselves in a jokey manner. Or to make them laugh. I used to say, 'We're off for a walk now, I'll just get my coat!' and then try to put on toddler DC's coat. they were in hysterics about it. They loved it. It was just silly fun.

If someone did it when a child seemed upset they'd be a dick but not if they are interacting well and joking and letting the child feel more intelligent and grown up than the adult is.

I still do this with my five year old Grin
Usual2usual · 27/08/2021 14:35

ffs seriously people are just joking around, DH always pretends that DD's trousers are a hat....she knows they are not a hat....she loves shouting at him about how silly he is (well she is 5 now and getting a bit eye rollish but she loved it at 3 lol).

Its fun.

caughtinanet · 27/08/2021 14:36

@Albgo

People saying they think this is funny and kids like it? Wtf. It's horrible - a form of bullying. I hate this sort of behaviour.
How can pretending to take a teddy possibly be bulllying?

I seriously don't know how some posters on here manage to get through the day with their bizzare views on everyday happenings

Not all children will find it funny but to class it as bullying is ridiculous

TheVolturi · 27/08/2021 14:36

Omg my step father does this! He's 81 to be fair but he does it all the time.

Teamfemale · 27/08/2021 14:38

@Usual2usual

ffs seriously people are just joking around, DH always pretends that DD's trousers are a hat....she knows they are not a hat....she loves shouting at him about how silly he is (well she is 5 now and getting a bit eye rollish but she loved it at 3 lol).

Its fun.

Not the point of the thread though....
ADialgaAteMyDog · 27/08/2021 14:40

People used to do the teddy thing to my dd. She'd break her heart crying, really fucking funny.
I'm on the "they're dicks" side of this one. I'd just roll my eyes and say, she won't find that at all funny and then say loudly, some people think it's funny to tease small children but we don't do that do children in house. Shame the twats.

fizbosshoes · 27/08/2021 14:42

One of my earliest memories is my dad reading a story (that we knew off by heart but couldnt actually read) and deliberately getting all the characters or words wrong and we used to shout over and say "no daddy you've got it wrong"

What about peekaboo.lots of adults do that to children and babies to make them laugh. Is there a sinister motive behind it??Confused