Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How often do you receive/make breakfast in bed

112 replies

KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:23

Hello

How often do you make you partner breakfast in bed and vice versa?

I ask because I make it for my partner 5/6 times a week. Quick bowl of cereal most days with coffee, nothing extravagant but it’s always served to him in bed and I’m beginning to get annoyed that he’s becoming spoiled.

For context, he works nightshift and gets in around 6:00 and is back up for noon which is when he likes to have his breakfast in bed and just relax a little before starting his day.

Am I being too harsh or is he just acting entitled?

OP posts:
Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:46

@BarbaraofSeville This became a thing when I guess he started getting used to it? It didn’t start irritating me until recently, maybe because I’m thinking enough is enough and where does it end!

OP posts:
Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:49

@FinallyHere I’d say we do 60/40 in terms of overall house work/child stuff. I do a bit more but he always helps out daily. Neither of us actually gets a day off. Yes he’s doesn’t get much sleep to be fair but he does make up for that by catching a nap in the evening before his shift starts again.

OP posts:
234Pepperplant · 25/08/2021 13:52

No food in bed unless ill/incapacitated. But I could resent someone for a bowl of cereal I’m bed at noon given they work nights and appear to barely sleep - I’m not sure you can call what he does a lay in. No, no one makes you any but you do presumably get to sleep at night and probably longer?

Rainbows89 · 25/08/2021 13:53

Neither of us like breakfast in bed so it’s just not a thing here.

My partner makes his own breakfast and lunch though. And I make an evening meal for everyone.

My mum gets all the breakfast things ready for my dad although I believe he does do the hard work of actually putting the cereal into the bowl. She also makes lunch for him.

If it doesn’t suit you anymore OP then stop! But communicate this to him so he knows.

ExtremelyDisorganised · 25/08/2021 13:55

We don't have a no food in bed rule, its just not something we do. When you want breakfast you get up and make it.

Could you be out of the house at the time he wants breakfast to try and break the habit?

dillyshaw · 25/08/2021 13:55

DP bring me a cuppa in bed and sometimes a bacon sarnie if I'm not feeling well hungover , I have never returned the favour cos he likes to be up.
If you don't mind doing it for him then carry on but you can always say no, get your own when you want too.

Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:55

@234Pepperplant I guess you’re right, he does work through the night while I’m asleep. It’s not like I’m doing anything important when he asks for breakfast, I’m usually free.

OP posts:
Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:57

@ExtremelyDisorganised I don’t want to actively go out my way to avoid giving him it if you see what I mean. I think I’m just feeling a certain way as I like to feel appreciated and don’t just want him to be expecting it.

OP posts:
peboh · 25/08/2021 13:57

When my dh used to work nights I wouldn't hesitate to pop him some breakfast in whilst I was up doing other bits. He didn't sleep well during the day, so he liked the spend an hour or so in the bedroom to relax before properly getting up. However I wouldn't class it as breakfast in bed. It wasn't a treat, or anything special it was just his first meal of the day.

Coogee · 25/08/2021 13:59

Hardly ever unless one of us is ill.

I detest crumbs in the bed.

Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 13:59

@peboh sounds exactly like my partners situation

OP posts:
Upupupintheair · 25/08/2021 14:02

My husband makes me a cuppa and my cereal in bed every day… very lucky! I don’t demand / expect it - he just does it.

UnitedRoad · 25/08/2021 14:02

Never and never. He occasionally brings me a cup of tea.

It’s not that we have any rules, just neither of us like it.

80sMum · 25/08/2021 14:03

Never! I wouldn't like it.

AnonymousCheerleader · 25/08/2021 14:16

I'm an earlier riser so my husband gets breakfast in bed probably once a month. Sometimes more often.

Palavah · 25/08/2021 14:18

@KrispyKremezz

Wow so hardly any of you actually make or receive it. Mostly due to no food in bed rule. Would it be different if that wasn’t an issue?

I feel like he expects it now rather than appreciates it. I know it’s not a huge deal it’s just a bowl of cereal and a coffee but even still it’s starting to annoy me, maybe because I don’t get the opportunity to have a lay in or to have that time to myself. It would be nice for him to bring me a cuppa out the blue once in a while. If I ask him to he would but never unexpectedly.

Am I just being a sensitive tit?

I do, and receive.

You haven't answered whether he is asking for this/complaining if you don't do it, but it's a bit off to get annoyed with him about you keeping doing something voluntarily.

SarahBop · 25/08/2021 14:19

Never. Couldn't think of anything worse. Coffee, yes, but not food. Single anyway, so won't happen Grin

LadyCluck · 25/08/2021 14:20

I used to as it’s a nice thing to do for your other half but I’ve stopped now as it was never reciprocated.

Original poster
KrispyKremezz · 25/08/2021 14:21

@Palavah He asks for it, doesn’t demand it. On a few occasions I’ve asked him to help himself and he has. He just prefers it brought to him in bed so he can eat and then rest up for another hour before actually leaving the bed. He just mucks about on his phone or whatever until he’s a bit more awake.

OP posts:
MrsTophamHat · 25/08/2021 14:23

Never.

Palavah · 25/08/2021 14:24

Maybe tell him this?

I feel like he expects it now rather than appreciates it. I know it’s not a huge deal it’s just a bowl of cereal and a coffee but even still it’s starting to annoy me, maybe because I don’t get the opportunity to have a lay in or to have that time to myself. It would be nice for him to bring me a cuppa out the blue once in a while. If I ask him to he would but never unexpectedly.*

TopTabby · 25/08/2021 14:24

Personally I hate the idea of breakfast in bed so I never have it!
My dh works shifts including nights too & I'd have no problem taking tea & toast up to let him start the 'day' peacefully as long as I was in & not really busy. Night shifts are a hell of a slog & he never complains.

leavesthataregreen · 25/08/2021 14:25

I bring DH tea in bed 99% of the time, because I wake up earlier. I sometimes do breakfast in bed for DC as a treat. I never get it or want it. I hate breakfast in bed.

Krustykrabpizza · 25/08/2021 14:26

Never, don't really see the appeal

lastqueenofscotland · 25/08/2021 14:27

Never… eating in bedrooms is grim.
But we do make breakfast for each other all the time, be it coffee and a slice of toast or something more elaborate.