Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My husband likes them done...

117 replies

ToomuchHeat · 20/08/2021 17:34

Should this have annoyed me?
In salon for a facial (my choice cos my skin is messed up at the moment).

A lady getting her nails done just asked if she's come for a special occasion and she was like 'no my husband likes them done' jeez

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 20/08/2021 18:21

How many people can honestly say they pay the same amount of attention to their appearance on a day they know they'll see no one?

I can.

Whatinthelord · 20/08/2021 18:22

It wouldn’t annoy me. However I don’t understand that way of thinking. I don’t think I do anything with regards to my appearance specifically for my husband. Though he doesn’t ever ask me to either. He’s always happy regardless of what I look like .

Disrespected · 20/08/2021 18:22

Omg. It's OK to look nice for others if your want to. It's different to 'being made to'

Disrespected · 20/08/2021 18:24

Fwiw I know my husband would love my hair to be red. Vibrant red.
I don't do it for him. If I wanted red hair I'd do it for me. But it's nice knowing he likes it though

StarttoFinish · 20/08/2021 18:24

@PurpleDaisies

How many people can honestly say they pay the same amount of attention to their appearance on a day they know they'll see no one?

I can.

Good for you but I think you're in a tiny minority.

Of course it's fine to want to look good for others and because of the way that makes you feel. Attention is a basic human need.

Twinkie01 · 20/08/2021 18:28

This is hilarious. Why can't we just do things because we know it pleases our significant other? He's not asking her to get a facial tattoo or get boob implants, he just likes her to have pretty nails. She can always say no.

Flatdisco · 20/08/2021 18:29

Yeah that is really embarrassing for her. I'm cringing at this.

Galassia · 20/08/2021 18:30

@Twinkie01

This is hilarious. Why can't we just do things because we know it pleases our significant other? He's not asking her to get a facial tattoo or get boob implants, he just likes her to have pretty nails. She can always say no.
The voice of reason. Thank you.
Eviethyme · 20/08/2021 18:35

I do my hair and my husband likes it done.
My husband shaves his beard because I like it done.

It's preferences.
He also likes my nails done, I also like his eyebrows neatened. It's nice to look good for the one you love.

FranklySonImTheGaffer · 20/08/2021 18:36

Oh FFS. why does this even matter to you op?

Ok there's a chance her H is an arse who is pressuring her to have her nails done. But more likely he's mentioned he thinks they look nice when they're done and she maintains them because she likes them too.

I am a feminist, wouldn't allow any man to tell me how to dress / do my hair / nails etc but I think something like this is similar to me telling DH I don't like his beard long so he trims it and keeps it neat even though he doesn't actually care either way and DH telling me he likes it when I don't straighten my hair so sometimes I let it dry naturally and leave it alone.

THisbackwithavengeance · 20/08/2021 18:37

I can see why the OP was irritated. Her remark was twee and a bit naff. It would've sufficed for her to say, no special occasion, I just feel better with manicured nails or whatever. No need to mention the DH.

PurpleDaisies · 20/08/2021 18:38

@THisbackwithavengeance

I can see why the OP was irritated. Her remark was twee and a bit naff. It would've sufficed for her to say, no special occasion, I just feel better with manicured nails or whatever. No need to mention the DH.
So now we’re policing what women say?
LittleOverWhelmed · 20/08/2021 18:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

MoiraNotRuby · 20/08/2021 18:42

Stbx likes painted nails, so do I but never paint them as he makes such a thing of it being 'for him'. When we are divorced I'll have bright colourful nails every day, can't wait!

Galassia · 20/08/2021 18:43

Maybe she doesn’t even have a husband!

She could be single/recently divorced/widowed etc and likes to reference having a husband as it makes her feel better about alone. You simply don’t know her reasons for saying what she said.

godmum56 · 20/08/2021 18:44

her life her choice not your business

Unfashionable · 20/08/2021 18:45

I like my DP to have collar length hair because he’s got lovely thick wavy hair and he looks better with it a bit longer. If he had a crew cut he would look like a thug, which he isn’t. He’s happy to oblige, but if he wasn’t I wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

Yaya26 · 20/08/2021 18:45

Well my husband of 12 years has started making negative remarks about my appearance (weight - I've put on a bit in last 2/3 years and last night made a remark about my hair not looking good - it cuts deep. Fair enough last night I was asking him to make sure his dusty hair was washed as I'd just changed bed - showers broke at the moment and he doesn't always wash hair when having a bath at night.

I think we all like it when someone finds us attractive.

StarttoFinish · 20/08/2021 18:45

@THisbackwithavengeance

I can see why the OP was irritated. Her remark was twee and a bit naff. It would've sufficed for her to say, no special occasion, I just feel better with manicured nails or whatever. No need to mention the DH.
Or perfectly fine for her to say that's why she has them done, if that is the reason?
PurpleDaisies · 20/08/2021 18:46

@LittleOverWhelmed

One of my neighbour’s was recently told that she should sort herself out (weight wise). She is late 40s and not really over weight at all. She says she has “love handles”, but I guess they would only notice in underwear / bikini.

I told her that she was fantastic and felt a strong urge to bop her husband… Angry

The weight thing is tricky. Obviously is she was just told coldly to “sort herself out” that’s really off. I had a conversation with dh who had put a bit on over lockdown. Not enough to make him overweight but it turned out to be half a stone when he weighed. It was good to have had the conversation and turned it around before it became a stone, or two stone or five.

These things aren’t always black and white. It’s the relationship you have and the motivation you’ve got for telling someone you like it when then look a certain way.

Antinerak · 20/08/2021 18:50

For all we know she could be telling him to shave his beard and bleach his arsehole because she likes it, leave them be!

havemybreakfastthen · 20/08/2021 18:50

I like to look nice for my partner as he does for me.
Did she look like she was doing it under duress? If not, why are you concerned?
It sounds like it makes them both happy.

InFiveMins · 20/08/2021 18:51

I agree with you completely OP, in fact my eyes nearly rolled out of my head reading your posts thinking of her comments.

AlfonsoTheMango · 20/08/2021 18:56

@ToomuchHeat

It should be for yourself no other.

Don't worry guys she's informed us she wears gloves when she does the washing up to preserve them. And she's hoping there will be food on the table at home as her DH has been left in charge but she can't be sure

It should be for yourself no other.

Says who?

And, no, I'm not worried about her at all. She seems to know what's what. There might be a hint in there.

Keepitonthedownlow · 20/08/2021 18:57

If it was just the nails I might be OK but there’s a good chance she probably does her hair, fake tan, teeth whitening and no doubt anus bleaching "for him" too.