If you have parents in a large house they can't manage

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And you think it's time they downsized, where do you think they should go?

I'm still young ish but I've been thinking about this for myself and am finding that suitable properties don't really exisit:

• A nice small bungalow on a small plot. Likely to cost more than my house is worth, bungalows are often on large plots and when they do come onto the market are snapped up by developers.

• A smaller house. Round here the only small houses are either very rural (not ideal for elderly) or terraced starter homes in not very nice parts of town. I spent a lifetime moving away from those areas.

• A flat. Again, very risky in terms of who your neighbours will be and it matters more when they're so close. Plus a little outdoor space at home is more important if you can get out less?

• A retirement flat. Very expensive and seem to be full of financial pitfalls

• I even looked at "park homes", but no one seems to have a good word for them, financially they seem to be viewed as something of a scam.

Ideally I'd have a small but well appointed 2/3 bedroom detached dwelling with a little courtyard garden. It doesn't exist though.

Those of you telling parents they need to downsize, do the small yet suitable places exist where you live? Where do you envisage them going?

I will not leave so much for my own kids to sort through.
judgejudyrocks Mil said the same recently that she'd been through that and she was happy she'd constantly decluttered, bil gave out that half his stuff randomly would disappear throughout his life and he missed it all

judgejudyrocks Oh and ye sound like a great family

Totally agree with you OP, when I downsize I want a smaller detached preferably character property with parking and a garage with a smaller garden close to amenities, in my area they don’t exist, the thought of being affected by neighbours by downsizing to a terrace or flat fills me with horror, also by downsizing doesn’t mean I want to down trade, I have worked my way up the property ladder to a large detached house, I don’t want to go backwards to semis or terraces. Family houses are ten a penny but finding a house to retire to where I live will be hard. I regularly holiday in the uk with the aim to find a place to retire to that meets my requirements, so far the Cotswolds is leading the way.

We live in a 3-storey Victorian terrace, 4 beds. We moved here because, in all likelihood, one of our children will never leave home. We have a bathroom on the middle floor, a shower room on the ground floor, and one of the living rooms could be used as a bedroom if we needed to do so. There would be plenty of room for all parties to have some privacy, but we would be able to support one another. I've seen enough older people who can't get upstairs, can't get into a bath but won't invest in a shower and have to take strip washes at the sink that I decided that I just did not want that. I wish more people would seriously think about making their home suitable for old age.

@ineedaholidaynow

Actually, I exaggerate a bit, it's just a regular/average amount of stuff really because we chucked so much out when we refurbed. I have a carefully tended garden though, created over many years, and it would pain me to leave that.
As for who sorts the stuff...Tbh I don't really care, I'll be dead. We have no children, so it will either be the surviving partner or our executor, who is a solicitor and will be paid handsomely for doing so.

stayathomer Thanks! Strange times, that's for sure. You have to try to see the funny side as well.

I just had a flash back, of when my Mum was ill, and someone had to go to the hospital for her scan results. My Dad wanted to go, but he is hard of hearing and would not remember the diagnosis by the time he got home, so I said that I ought to go.

He asked me why. I said "because whoever goes has to take notes and be as sharp as a tac", to which he replied "what shark attack?".

You have my sympathy judgejudyrocks as my parents are just the same.

My parents don't seem to be able to get rid of anything despite me trying to get them organised. Last month I managed to get my mum to throw away 3 old shower curtains and the packaging from every pair of curtains she's ever owned. They still have clothes that are 40 years old which they will never wear again.

Things came to a head yesterday when they had to get the falls team out for my dad and the lady phoned to ask me how on earth they were coping. I explained that i'm trying to do my best but I can't physically force them to get carers in or have a stairlift fitted!